BrainDrain

Still here!

2012-01-04T07:55:00.000Z

Errr...saya hidup lagi...

tak senonoh je nama blogger tapi lama tak update kan...i busy.. (orang lain tak busy macam saya)

Ni apasal tetiba boleh update pulak? Sebab cuti seminggu, Adam masuk darjah 1, kena lah stand by dia kan..

Ammar & Adam

Cuba cari adam

Beg je dah penuh kerusi

Yeeaa.. lepas rehat, masuk balik bekal..no canteen food for you

How was 2011? As you all know, lots of things happened to our family in 2011.. Cairo/ Sinai..(oops that was Dec 2010--macam baru je kan), the big move, Manchester to Melaka, me started working again, Adam and Ammar started school here, the runaway tenant, a few vacations (Putrajaya-boleh kira tak?, Penang, PD)....all in all we settled down nicely.

But the best thing about 2011 is that I shed off 14 kg!! wakakakaaka... (jadi surirumah memang menggemukkan- kalau malas exercise macam saya)

So I was afraid because my BMI was nearing obesity, i don't want to be fat, slow and lazy, so I joined a free program with sparkpeople.com, followed it to the letter (almost) and reached my target. In the process i learned more about nutrition than what medical school taught me.

One rule that I learned and also applied elsewhere is that if you have a mission, the target and ways to achieve the target has to be outlined clearly, or else it would remain a mission statement. It would not go further than that.

Like when I wanted to change my eating habit, I said to myself, I want to eat 5 portions of fruits and veges a day. If you just make a mental note like that, "eat 5 a day" , very likely you won't achieve your target. How to achieve 5 a day- you must outline clearly. So my regime is, 2 fruits before breakfast- (must), then quarter plate veges at lunch and at dinner, so that makes 4/5, the other 1/5 is anytime in between (brunch, tea, supper, before dinner etc). And my advice is- eat the wajib first (fruits), if you leave it after a meal, quite often you will forget or become too full to take it.

That brings us to what my targets are for 2012....

Later, i think. InsyaAllah. Promised Adam some cookies to bake.

*we already got a tenant, hope she won't give us much problems, will also write few things about this later

Notes to 4 most amazing men :)

2011-11-10T01:51:00.002Z

Just finished Imam Abu Hanifah. Now starting Imam Maliki.

"Imam Abu Hanifah : A glimpse of your colourful life is an inspiration. Glad I had the chance to walk through it. Your mom- can't get my mind of her. She was the reason all those happened, wasn't it?

Imam Malik : I've already loved you before. A story of you always plays in my head. The one about people asking you to be more zuhud. Hihihi...I know I will love you more. Now reading you :). Happy.

Imam Shafiee : I have always love your poems. And my favourite is 'Let the Days'. I have visited where you were rested. I can't believe I haven't read you before. I thought of jumping straight to you, but the author tells the stories of you and your brothers in chronological order. I have to read them first. I'll get to you soon. You love knowledge more than anyone else. That's why I love you.

Imam Ahmad : Sadly, you are the least I know about. Can't wait to get to know you. Can't wait."

Chaos

2011-11-10T00:56:00.001Z

When I graduated in 2004, there were only 12 (if I'm not wrong) medical schools in Malaysia that produce graduates. Now just look at the list. Remember there are graduates from UK, Ireland, India, Egypt, Indonesia and Russia too.

Medical schools that have already produced graduates:

Universiti Malaya
Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia
Universiti Sains Malaysia
Universiti Malaysia Sarawak
International Medical University
Universiti Putra Malaysia
International Islamic University Malaysia
Penang Medical College
UniKL Royal College of Medicine Perak
Melaka-Manipal Medical College
Universiti Malaysia Sabah
Universiti Teknologi MARA
UCSI University
Asian Institute of Medicine, Science and Technology
Monash University Malaysia
Allianze College of Medical Sciences
Cyberjaya University College of Medical Sciences
Universiti Sains Islam Malaysia

Med schools that will have their first graduates in 2012-2017:

Newcastle University of Medicine Malaysia
MAHSA University College
International Medical School – MSU (IMS-MSU)
Universiti Sultan Zainal Abidin
Taylor’s University
SEGi University College
Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman
Masterskill University College
Perdana University Graduate School of Medicine (PUGSOM)
Perdana University – RCSI
Quest International University Perak
PMC Terengganu
Kolej Universiti Insaniah
Kolej Universiti Antarabangsa Kejururawatan dan Sains Kesihatan (KPJ)
Lincoln University College

Bear in mind that the number of teaching hospitals (University hospitals and General Hospitals) are not increasing as much as the number of medical schools. The number of real life trainers (ie the specialists, surgeons etc) are not increasing much too.

Also, there are a lot of accusations that a lot of corruptions are involved in taking up 'qualified students' and passing the future doctors.

OK I'm not going to question about the intake / qualification of the medical undergraduates, but just looking at the number of medical schools we know that the training in hospitals available is going to be substandard. I know some schools that use mannequins to teach the students how to examine people. In UKM before we never use mannequins. We use breathing, talking subjects.

Now the house officers are going to work in shift system. It is a big change and many specialist/ senior doctors are not happy with it. Their main concern is that who will supervise the young doctors who work in evening or night shift, because the shift system only involve the house officers, not the supervisors.

So I think you readers can imagine the chaos in the Ministry now. For this I advise:

1. Be aware of what is going on with you / your family when you go to seek medical attention. The best is to catch the seniors who are in charge of the ward you are in, and make sure you know the management plan of your illness. You will notice that the juniors are going to be like chipsmores.

2. If you think you see something amiss, make it your responsibility to complain and correct it. About complaining, please don't simply jump on that doctor did not smile (we are human too) or I have to wait 2 hours in a crowded ED. Rather, speak up if nobody do anything when your mother has high fever, or the doctor did not wear a mask when suturing your wound, or nobody take heed of your bleeding pregnant wife. I think you understand.

3. Don't force medical course on your son / daughter if they are the lazy type, the slow type, the i-dont-give-a-damn type, the always-MIA type... even if you can pay for them to pass (not pay to study). It will come back to you.

Cerita Kursus

2011-10-30T15:59:00.000Z

Semalam saya pergi kursus. Saya paksa diri untuk tulis post ini sebelum 'api' nya padam.Kenal kan Darwisya dan Darwish, adik beradik yg menghafal Quran tu. Umur 3 thn setengah dah hafal seluruh Juz Amma. Mak diorang yang ajar. Mak diorang (Puan Lina) bukan Ustazah, bukan penghafaz Quran juga, bukan surirumah. So macam mana dia buat? Dia selalu cerita kaedah dia dalam blog dia sini. Tapi sekarang dia dah buat kursus juga. Kursus Mengajar Al-Quran kepada Bayi dan Kanak-Kanak. Sebulan sekali je dia buat.

Jadi saya pergi!!! Saya ke Shah Alam tempat dia buat kursus tu, ingatkan saya yg paling jauh, dari Melaka. MasyaAllah, rupa2nya dari JB pun ada, dari Kulim pun ada dan jengjengjeng..dari Bintulu pun ada. Ya, terbang dari Bintulu untuk belajar dari Puan Lina.

Firstly, how is she in person? Pada saya dia biasa2 je (tapi cita2 dan kerja kuat yg luar biasa), dan sangat senang untuk disukai (very likeable). Mind you, saya kalau orang berceramah saya punya habit (yg tak berapa baguslah, saya tau), saya akan sangat skeptikal dan seboleh2nya saya akan cari kenapa saya tak perlu dengar ceramah dia. But as far as I can tell, she spoke from her heart, and her concern (to teach other parents how to teach young kids to read and memorize Quran) is genuine. So we all enjoyed and benefited a lot.


Saya dan Puan Lina (Mama Darwisya dan Darwish)

Kenapa saya pergi? Sebenarnya saya rasa saya dah stuck dengan progress budak2 ni. Adam dah Iqra' 4 dan Ammar dah Iqra' 2, tapi hafazan tak gerak-gerak. Apa yang saya kejar? Saya takut saya terlepas golden period diorang semasa otak mereka seperti sponge ini. Saya juga takut saya mati sebelum saya sempat developkan jiwa Quran dalam diri mereka. Apa lagi yang saya boleh tinggalkan untuk mereka kalau bukan jiwa itu kerana tiada siapa yang dapat merampasnya dari mereka. Ia insurans terpenting mereka. Apa saja yang terjadi pada mereka di dunia ini kalau mereka berjiwa Quran tentu mereka akan selamat di Akhirat. Lagi satu saya risau tengok mereka suka sangat main game. Dan saya perlukan kaedah baru / lain yang boleh optimize masa saya yg dah tak berapa nak cukup sejak saya kerja semula ni.

Banyak yang saya belajar. Bukan saja dari Puan Lina tapi juga dari ibu bapa lain. Sebab sesi pertama ialah sesi berkenalan di mana kami semua perkenalkan diri dan ceritakan perkembangan Quran anak2. Saya memang impress dengan ibu bapa lain. Bilik seminar itu penuh hingga tak cukup meja, ada yang kena duduk di tengah2 antara meja juga. Nasib baik saya sampai awal, dapat duduk depan. Ramai juga yang walk-in, sepatutnya kena booking online.

Apa yang saya belajar?

1. Mesti ada visi untuk anak. Contoh (bukan saya, rekaan je): saya mahu anak jadi peguam yang hafaz Quran. Ok, saya punya visi cuma 1 iaitu semua kami ahli Jannatul Firdaus tapi ini agak general sebenarnya. Saya belum betul2 fikir apa plan spesifik untuk anak2 saya. Mungkin di sini silap saya. Goal tak ada. Macam Puan Lina, apabila Darwisya masuk 6 tahun dia akan dihantar ke Sekolah Tahfiz selama 2 tahun untuk dapatkan keseluruhan Al-Quran, kemudian masuk darjah dua. Darjah 1 dikira sebagai homeschooling.

2. Bagaimana nak kenal anak kita jenis learner yang macam mana dan apa cara terbaik untuk mereka.

3. Bagaimana nak masukkan Al-Quran ke subconscious mind mereka.

4. Halangan2 dan cara2 atasi halangan. Ya Allah.. banyaknya..yelah, syaitan kan tak suka orang belajar Quran. Kalau buat benda tak elok dia tak halang, kan. Pentinglah bab ni.

5. Pemakanan untuk budak2 yang menghafaz Quran.

6. Ehh banyak lagilah..tak larat nak tulis semua.

Alat bantu mengajar yang Puan Lina guna

Antara peserta kursus

Saya beli untuk Abid.

I have a dream

2011-10-12T22:30:00.000+01:00

Kata2 cikgu matematik saya dulu:"Some people have dreams, while others wake up and realize them"

Would like to share a message from my Arabic teacher:

Work hard.Or you deserved to be left behind.(talking to myself)

Post memanaskan jari jemari.

2011-09-29T00:45:00.000+01:00

Eh lama sangat blog ni saya tinggalkan, sampai gambar raya pun tak ada. Sebenarnya kitorang beraya sakan. Seremban-Temerloh-Ipoh-KL sempat pergi masa raya. Saya dapat cuti seminggu. Rasanya ini cuti raya paling lama saya pernah dapat. Sebab ramai doktor2 non-Muslim yang cover hospital. :) Deepavali hujung bulan ni dah tentu saya pulak yg kena kerah.

Oklah. Tunjuk gambar raya satu. Selamat hari raya semua (dah lambat pun :P). Nanti cerita lagi ok. Mungkin nak tulis pasal buku lah. Dah lama tak tulis pasal buku.

Semoga hari ini lebih baik dari semalam. Esok belum tentu.

2 hari

2011-08-14T01:19:00.000+01:00

Sudah 2 hari Adam berjaya puasa Subuh ke Maghrib :) Yang saya kagum ialah dia tak merungut langsung. Tidak merengek bila tengok Ammar dan Abid makan. Tidak minta makanan selain apa yang dihidangkan ketika berbuka. Dari mana kekuatan dia? Tubuhnya kecil kurus keding tapi tenaga banyak. Tidak tidur langsung di siang hari.

Adam berbuka dengan roti canai

Saya bertanya, "How do you feel Adam, fasting the whole day?"

Dia jawab "OK" (jawapan standard, tiada huraian panjang lebar).

"Why do you fast in Ramadhan, Adam?"

"So that I become a soleh boy, and in World 3 I can live in Heaven where all good things are.."

Saya terkedu. Tak sangka pulak itu jawapannya. Ketika kematian nenek saya tahun lepas, Adam ada bertanya ke mana orang yg mati pergi. Jadi saya telah menggunakan analogi World 1 (dunia), World 2 (barzakh) dan World 3 (akhirat). Untuk melatihnya berpuasa saya janjikan duit 50 sen setiap jam. Mulanya saya sangka itulah jawapannya. Saya merenung jawapannya. Ia jawapan yang sesuai dengan tujuan Allah swt menyuruh kita berpuasa seperti dalam ayat 183 surah AlBaqarah- mudah-mudahan kamu bertaqwa.

...so that I become a soleh boy..

Amin..

Ramai orang suka menegur rambut kepala Adam yang ada 2 pusar. Biasa orang akan kata- eh pusar dia dua..biasa orang kata degil ni... Saya akan selalu jawab, dia lah yang paling ikut cakap. Degil ke tidak bukan ikut pusar kepala.

Ammar pula bertanya, "Mama, which is better, soleh boy or good boy?"

"Soleh boy because soleh boy means a good boy that always remember Allah"

"I remember Allah when I eat" Ammar mempertahankan dirinya.

"hehe true..you are a soleh boy too.."

Sikap tak boleh kalah tu memang macam turun dari saya.

(terima kasih Baiti yang memberi idea memuji anak dengan mengatakan soleh boy, instead of good boy / clever boy)

Tips untuk latih anak puasa

2011-08-07T09:30:00.003+01:00

Wardina buat video ni, saya rasa memang praktikal and full of gems..Yang penting sebelum ajar diorang puasa isu solat mesti settle dulu sebab kita taknak send the wrong message eg puasa mesti jangan tinggal tapi solat tak diberatkan..

Pastu saya suka idea yang kita mesti firstly terapkan perasaan cintakan Ramadhan, supaya bila berpuasa bukannya soal tak makan minum yg diberatkan, tapi keistimewaan Ramadhan itu sendiri, barulah kita tak lembik je masa puasa..

Adam? Hari ni dia puasa sampai pukul 2.30pm.. saya cakap congratulations kat dia :) sebab ada progress..so far sahur dia tak pernah tinggal lagi..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Semalam on call di Unit Kecemasan...macam2 ragam orang.. sangat ramai yg tak berpuasa, entah betul sakit yg dibenarkan berbuka oleh syara' atau tidak?

Ada orang yang kencing manis gula naik tinggi.. "pakcik makan pukul berapa ni?".. "pukul 9 pagi nak.." (ehh apasalah pakcik tak puasa--- dalam hati je hehe)

Yang berpuasa pula kebanyakan keputusan ujian darah dan air kencing memang menunjukkan tanda2 dehidrasi.. mula2 saya terlupa, kenapa semua kidney functions mildly deranged ni? oooo diorang puasalah...

Nasib baik mereka menghormati waktu maghrib, unit kecemasan lengang semasa maghrib mudah untuk kami berbuka..

Ada pakcik umur 90 tahun pula yg pertama kali seumur hidupnya dtg ke hospital (tekanan darahnya naik)..kerjanya penoreh getah dan pemanjat pokok kelapa.. "jadi pakcik boleh bg tau saya rahsia umur panjang?" --saya suspek mesti gaya hidup yg sihat kerana isterinya juga masih hidup pada usia 80 lebih, dan mereka telah hidup bersama hampir 70 tahun, mempunyai 12 anak (yang 6 sudah meninggal waktu kecil- mungkin zaman jepun?)

Pakcik kata..."kita orang kampung mana tau apa2 rahsia doktorrrr..pakcik makan beras sawah kampung yang tumbuk pakai lesung tu, sayur apa2 yang boleh dipetik (mungkin maksud dia pucuk liar?) pastu ikan pun ikan tangkap kat sawah je...rahsia lain mana ada nakk" :) ..terima kasih pakcik.. saya tau kesimpulannya pakcik tak makan makanan yg diproses, semua ambil terus dari nature.. tentulah tiada bahan toksik dalam badan pakcik.

Bila makan jangan lupakan saudara2 di Afrika yang sedang hadapi kemarau panjang. *sigh* belum pernah lagi jumpa org yang mati kebuluran.. tentu lebih seksa melihatnya daripada melihat org Malaysia yg mati kerana kencing manis dan sakit jantung..

Kesian semalam budak2 tinggal dengan papanya saja...

A year here and there

2011-07-29T00:09:00.001+01:00

I was reading My First Atlas with Ammar when he pointed out that it takes 84 years for Uranus to go round the Sun and 164 years for Neptune.

Then I realized something, that a year does not mean 365 days, but the time it takes for a planet to complete a cycle around the Sun (Earth=365 days only).

Well that explains why the Quran said a year in Hell is equivalent to ? thousand years on earth (is it 60 000 years?).

So how far is the Hell from us now? FYI Uranus is about 2.57 billion km from earth at its closest distance (the distance changes constantly because Earth and Uranus is orbiting on opposite side of the Sun- if I understood it correctly).

Which brings me to the question- How BIG is the Whole Universe really?

And Nabi Muhammad (saw) traveled all the way to Sidratul Muntaha after passing Hell and Heaven in one night.

Well, no wonder our world is not significant at all in comparison to the Realm of Allah's Kingdom.

May all of us are one of the Ulul Albab (definition of Ulul Albab is in Ali Imran 190-191). Of course, the gist here is not on finding how many km exactly, because it won't benefit us (ie increase in our faith), but to know that it is beyond our capability of measuring it is sufficient for us to take a deep breath and proclaim Allahu Akbar!

Ramadhan Kareem everyone!

Monolog garam

2011-06-25T00:50:00.000+01:00

Dulu saya kerja macam robot. Bukan saya tak berfikir, cuma saya tak nampak kekuasaan Allah pada perkara2 kecil. Perkara2 besar (yg melibatkan hidup mati) tu nampaklah. Tapi perkara2 rutin berlalu tanpa meninggalkan kesan.

Saya meninggalkan bidang perubatan pada mulanya saya anggap ia satu setback untuk saya. Tapi Allah lebih mengetahui. Ia setback yang saya perlukan. Supaya saya tak jadi robot sampai mati. Otak konon pandai tapi tak berfikir.

Saya nak cerita pasal garam dalam badan.

Dalam badan kita ada beberapa jenis garam. Yang biasa selalu doktor akan tengok ialah sodium dan potassium. Dua2 ni penting, kalau keluar dari normal range mesti dibetulkan sebelum pesakit dibenarkan pulang. Yang saya terlepas pandang dulu ialah normal range ini sangat (10x) sempit. Kalau sodium 130-145 mmol/L, kalau potassium 3.5-5.2 mmol/L sahaja. Bayangkan kalau kita buat kek atau biskut, kalau tepung atau gula tu terlebih atau terkurang 50 gram kek tu masih jadi, kadang2 tak terjejas pun rasa/tekstur kek tu. Tapi kalau garam dalam badan ni terkeluar dari normal range yg sempit itu, badan sure haywire- otot lemah, otak confuse, rentak jantung lari. Mati.

Nak betulkan garam yang terkeluar dari normal range ni kalau tak lari jauh senang. Tapi kalau jauh bezanya, alamat tak tidurlah doktor yg on call tu. Ya, seperti yg terjadi kepada saya minggu lepas. Pakcik A sudah meracau2 sebab badan kering dan terlebih sodium. Pakcik B pula garam potassium sangat tinggi hingga setiap 4 jam perlu diberi ubat melalui salur darahnya, dan dicucuk pula untuk mengambil darahnya. Ketika itu saya pun bermonolog sendirian, pukul 1 pagi di hadapan kalkulator mengira kadar infusi air untuk pakcik A, dan sesekali meninjau monitor jantung Pakcik B.

Kita makan sesuka hati tanpa perlu memikirkan adakah makanan itu akan menaikkan kadar sodium atau potassium kita. Sebab badan kita memang boleh kawal garam2 ini secara automatik untuk kekalkan equilibrium ini. Tapis di buah pinggang, keluar masuk sel etc. Tapi ini semua bukan automatik, kan? Allah yang kawal fungsi setiap sel untuk setiap organ untuk setiap manusia dan haiwan atas dunia ni. Adakah kita 'aware' perkara2 ini berlaku semasa ia berlaku?
Mana ada orang yg sedar perkara2 ini berjalan dalam badan kita. Kalau sekali kita mengalami kekurangan garam badan ini mungkin baru kita akan boleh appreciate nikmat yg Allah beri ni. Tapi kita lebih bersyukur dengan apa yang kita nampak / dapat. Yang kita tak nampak? Memanglah kita tak akan memikirkannya pun. Itu pasal Allah selalu sebut dalam Al-Quran, refer kepada kita hamba2Nya ni- "kalaulah mereka mengetahui..."
Betapa sukarnya kami para doktor dari petang cuba membetulkan garam pakcik2 ini, hingga ke tengah malam semasa saya on call dan berlanjutan ke hari2 berikutnya. Ilmu kita memang sangat limited. Perkara kecil seperti ini pun kita mahu kembalikan seperti yang Allah ciptakan ia semasa normal, satu perkara sukar. Patutkah kita jalan2 atas dunia ni seperti kita orang yg paling bagus? Patutkah kita memperdebatkan hal2 dalam blog2 kita seperti kita orang yg paling pandai ? (macam yg selalu saya buatlah kan). Memang muka tak malu kan. Kita ni lagak je lebih, tapi ilmu tak ada.

Kita bersyukur kalau kita naik gaji, dapat PhD, dapat anak etc. Bersyukur memuji2 Allah, sujud syukur, sedekah, buat kenduri syukur. Tapi garam dalam badan kita normal kita syukur dan gembira tak setiap hari? Mana ada kan..kalau tak mesti kita dah sembahyang sampai bengkak kaki macam Nabi kita. Tu pasal ulama dulu kata (yang saya dengar dari mulut Dr Mohd Asri), syukur itu lagi tinggi maqamnya dari sabar. Ramai orang beriman boleh bersabar, tapi untuk jadi orang yg betul2 bersyukur tu bukan semua orang beriman boleh buat.

Kalau kita ditimpa musibah pun, kita rasa seperti kita tak perlu bersyukur time tu, tapi concentrate energy untuk bersabar...("masa ni Allah nak kita bersabar"). Paling2 bagus pun kita bersyukur sebab musibah tu tak jadi lebih teruk lagi. Tapi kita tak ada pulak bersyukur sebab garam dalam badan kita masih dalam normal range dan rentak jantung kita masih normal dubdab dubdab. Teringat pulak Hamka kata (yg juga saya dengar dari Dr Mohd Asri) tentang ketika kita kesedihan kehilangan sesuatu atau ditimpa musibah kita sering lupa, sebenarnya- "yang ada di badan ini pun sudah satu harapan.."

Itulah tazkirah garam untuk hari ini.

Rumah baru kami

2011-06-19T08:36:00.000+01:00

Sekarang kami menetap dalam kuarters kakitangan hospital tempat saya bekerja. Betul2 belakang hospital dalam lingkungan pagar yang sama. Ia rumah berkembar 2 tingkat yang mempunyai 5 bilik. Memang rumah ini terlebih besar untuk kami. Apartment 4 bilik sudah penuh, ini saja yang kosong. Rumah ini sudah tak berpenghuni selama 2 tahun. Kami hanya menggunakan 2 bilik sahaja. Lagi 3 bilik langsir pun saya tak naikkan lagi :P.

boleh main basikal dalam rumah- kat malaysia je boleh buat macam ni

Walaupun jumlah elaun saya yang dipotong untuk duduk di kuarters ini agak banyak juga (cukup untuk buat bayaran bulanan untuk rumah sendiri) tetapi ada beberapa faedah kami duduk dalam kuarters ini yang memang tak boleh dinilai dengan wang. Pertamanya, saya hanya berjalan kaki pergi dan balik kerja (300 langkah je dari pintu belakang rumah saya ke pintu wad tempat kerja saya). Kalau saya duduk di luar hospital tentunya saya akan naik kereta ke tempat kerja - menyumbang kepada pencemaran udara / carbon footprint saya (eceh!). Jimat minyak kereta. Tidak stress di jalan raya yang juga membahayakan kesihatan jantung, sistem imun dan mental saya (ayat2 poyo tapi benar).

pintu belakang rumah

terus jalan pergi kerja

Kedua, saya boleh pulang ke rumah pada bila2 masa. Ini penting semasa saya on call. Kalau saya duduk di luar saya tidak boleh pulang ke rumah selama 35 jam saya on call. Tetapi disebabkan saya duduk dalam kawasan hospital, saya boleh on call dari rumah sahaja. Jadi tidaklah budak2 (dan bapak budak) kehilangan saya sangat.

Ketiga, dalam kawasan hospital ini sahaja, ada 2 kawasan taman permainan kanak2. Satu daripadanya betul2 di luar pintu belakang rumah kami. Penting untuk budak2 keluarkan excess energy mereka- jadi ini memang rezeki budak2 ni.

gambar diambil dari pintu belakang rumah

Tokpa dengan cucu2

Keempat, halaman rumah dan hal2 kerosakan dalam rumah semuanya diselenggarakan oleh pihak hospital. Hospital ada juruteknik elektrik, plumber, gardener, malah civil engineernya sendiri. Telefon dan panggil sahaja. Mereka datang pada hari yang sama. Memang tak ternilai.

Kelima- ini belum lagi, tapi tahun depan Adam akan masuk darjah 1. Sekolahnya berkongsi pagar dengan hospital. Ada pintu kecil untuk kanak2 di kuarters ini pergi ke sekolah. Rentas padang sekolah dan Adam pun akan sampai ke bilik darjahnya. Saya pun rasa excited nak berjalan ke sekolah dengannya setiap pagi. Another savings in our carbon footprint there.

Adam dan Ammar dah masuk tadika. Saya risau juga mula2 kerana takutkan tiada tadika yang sesuai untuk mereka. Kalau di Lembah Klang memanglah banyak yang bagus2. Alhamdulillah di ceruk daerah kecil ini kami berjumpa dengan tadika yang menggunakan silibus Genius Aulad. Cikgu mereka pun bersikap terbuka dan tidak rigid, dan setuju mengikut tahap kemampuan Adam, yang sudah bersekolah 3 tahun di UK.

gambar semasa birthday Ammar yg ke 4

Itulah serba sedikit kehidupan kami sekarang.

Update and some reflections

2011-06-12T03:34:00.000+01:00

Many things happened this whole month since I last wrote.

I found that memory is a superb thing. Even though I have not been using my medical knowledge for the last 3 years, it is easily recalled, and by the end of my first week of work I felt that there is no lapse in my working years. Allah is the Greatest Designer.

By age, I am now quite senior amongst other doctors here in this hospital. Many are juniors, they just completed their housemanship. I found that they are very passionate and aggressive. Many do things, not in the best interest of the patients, but for the sake of completeness (or covering themselves in case it becomes a medicolegal case). It does take some courage to practice proper responsible / sensible medicine, rather than defensive medicine (as they call it now)- but I personally view this as inappropriate. We are all answerable to God, not lawyers.

As I have written before, arrogance (I am always right / I know better attitude) is a common trait in doctors. Being able to take others' opinions (especially from lower rank staffs) are considered a weakness. In reality, the experience of the lower ranks staffs, who has worked 10-20 years, who has seen and heard more, is very valuable. Their judgment is usually more accurate. Not the doctors' MD. But if they detect a hint of arrogance in a doctor, they will reserve their opinions, and let the doctor handle it himself. This is an advice that junior doctors should take.

Other issues. Recently I had to attend to a young teenager in labour. 17, unmarried. She is a resident in a 'Sekolah Harapan' here ( a correctional institute for pregnant single mothers). Looking at her I could not stop thinking about the baby that was thrown from the fifth floor of a flat that was featured in the news recently. I reserved my judgment. I was glad I did. Every time she has contractions, between tears she was clearly reciting the 'ayat Nabi Yunus' (Lailahailla anta, subhanaka inni kuntu minazzholimin). That was all that came out of her mouth. This is the first time I hear a mother in labour, who did not utter a word of pain, but each contraction is a reminder to her (and us who attended her labour). I hope she will become a good mother, and the child will be among the solehin. I would like to meet the teachers at the Sekolah Harapan. One day, insyaAllah.

Since started working, I have not finished any book. Sad.

Non-medical issues. We have a 4-bedroom terrace house that we rented out near Ayer Keroh Melaka. When the tenant knew that we have returned to Malaysia, the family moved out secretly, leaving us a very very dirty and damaged house, and a few months of unpaid rent. They left the keys in the postbox. We rented the house to them semi-furnished, with a nice master bedroom set, book shelf etc, but to our dismay they left the house empty, saved for some rubbish here and there. Luckily the kitchen cabinets, cooker and hood are attached to the wall, if not they might have taken those out too.

We managed to track the family (Malay and Muslim- by name only, now we know), and have made a deal with them to clear everything with us while we are all alive. I do hope they keep their promise to restore the house (because we have a strong case and evidences to charge them and bring them to justice) as we need to rent out the house quickly.

For private landlords out there, some advices from us:

1. Make sure your tenancy agreement is valid- signed, stamped and witnessed. Have all things listed in the inventory, from furniture to fans and lights. Luckily we did this.

2. Use standing orders from the bank for rental payments. We didn't.

3. Make regular inspections, say every 3 months, and repair things early. We didn't, of course.

4. Everything must be included in the tenancy agreement eg. the tenant must return the house in a rentable state, rules on putting up air conditioners, repainting the walls if scribbled etc.

5. Put a special section on terms with the neighbors. Should the neighbors complaint the landlord has the right to remove the tenant. Our neighbor suffered. We are terribly sorry for that.

This really taught me a lesson. Outward appearance really does not count (mereka memang nampak baik). And even if something is rightfully ours (hak kita), if Allah holds it from us, we won't get it. I hope we can have patience in this. And Allah will give it back to us.

Kami sudah pulang :)

2011-05-09T04:13:00.000+01:00

Kami telah kembali ke Malaysia :) setelah 3 tahun setengah tak balik langsung. Kami masih menumpang di rumah ibu bapa kami, belum dapat settle down lagi. Banyak pula halangannya.

1. Masa balik ke Malaysia kami naik Airbus 380. Makk aii..besarnya, macam duduk dalam business class je (walaupun saya tak pernah merasa business class tu macam mana). Setiap kerusi kelas ekonomi tu ada handphone / laptop charger individu. Ruang kaki pun besar. Terbaikk.

2. Kami singgah 3 malam di Dubai. Dubai sangat mewah. Seorang peminta sedekah pun tak jumpa (walaupun di kawasan bandar lama mereka). Sangat berbeza dengan Kaherah. Di Dubai Mall, kompleks beli-belah terbesar di dunia, setiap kali waktu solat ada azan yang berkumandang. Dalam Mall itu sendiri ada peta siap dengan nama-nama jalan. Kalau budak hilang dalam tu memang menangis tak berlagu lah. Nanti bila-bila saya letak gambar ye. Kami duduk di Holiday Inn, yang terasa seperti hotel 4 bintang tapi sebenarnya dia dua bintang saja. Ada hotel-hotel lain yang berbintang-bintang lagi hebat. Macam manalah kat dalam hotel-hotel tu agaknya.

3. Kepanasan di Malaysia membuatkan saya lupa dengan kesejukan UK. Saya cuba fikirkan, macam mana sejuk kat UK dulu yer? (kan saya selalu komplen sejuk). Dulu sejuk di UK sampai saya depress. Sekarang panas di Malaysia sampai saya tak senang duduk. Kalau pasang air-cond masih boleh pakai baju lengan pendek. Kalau di UK dulu dah pasang heater pun masih pakai baju berlapis-lapis dan berstokin.

4. Saya merasakan rumah ibu bapa kami sangat besar. Luas ruang tamu sama dengan luas seluruh apartment kami di UK. Orang Malaysia memang beruntung ada nikmat 'space' ini.

5. Dalam masa seminggu semua kulit kering saya yang pecah-pecah dan mengelupas telah pun pulih. Di UK dalam sehari tu tiap kali lepas basuh tangan, basuh pinggan mesti nak kena letak losyen. Sekarang dah macam kulit orang muda-muda semula :)

6. Banyak taman perumahan baru yang dibina, dan semua rumah cantik-cantik belaka. Syabas yer arkitek-arkitek dan designer-designer Malaysia (sesiapa yang terlibatlah).

7. Pemandu-pemandu di Malaysia memang memandu laju, termasuklah ahli keluarga saya.

8. Orang Malaysia suka simpan barang. Bekas-bekas kuih yang tak pakai pun simpan. Baju- baju lama yang bertahun tak pakai pun simpan. Surat-surat lama pun simpan (shred saja lah dan recycle). Banyak 'clutter'. Tengok saya tahun depan macam mana. Saya harap saya boleh maintain hidup 'less clutter' macam di UK (ye lah kan rumah kecik dulu, mana-mana tak berkenaan terus je buang atau recycle).

9. Internet di Malaysia slow.

10. Malaysia memang syurga makanan. Tidak syak lagi.

11. Baru seminggu di Malaysia saya sudah membeli 2 buah buku dan menempah 2 lagi buku. OK, peringatan untuk diri saya, cukup-cukup lah tu....(untuk bulan ini hehehe).

12. Saya akan mula kerja minggu depan insyaAllah. Kalau busy tahap gaban, tak dapatlah saya menulis mengomel-ngomel lagi, sebab tentunya blog ini bukan priority saya. Nasib baik juga saya ada menulis blog ini, sebab saya dah mula terasa yang 3 tahun setengah itu seperti satu mimpi.

Jejak Nabi Musa (as)- Part 3

2011-04-23T16:09:00.001+01:00

Sesungguhnya Aku inilah Tuhanmu, maka tanggalkanlah kedua terompahmu; sesungguhnya kamu berada di lembah yang suci, Tuwa. (Surah Taha: 12)

Ini yang difirmankan Allah swt kepada Nabi Musa (as) ketika baginda berhenti rehat di kawasan Sinai dalam perjalanan kembali ke Mesir dari Madyan. Ia wahyu pertama untuk Nabi Musa (as). Signifikannya sama seperti peristiwa di Gua Hira'. Kemudian di sinilah Nabi Musa (as) diberikan mukjizat tongkat ularnya dan cahaya dari tangannya dan diperintahkan menghadap Firaun. Kali kedua Nabi Musa (as) ke sini ialah selepas berjaya selamat dari Firaun untuk bermunajat selama 40 hari dan diberikan Kitab Taurat.

Lembah Suci ini terletak di Bandar St Katherine, Sinai. Kami ke kaki Gunung Sinai pada waktu tengah malam. Pukul 1 pagi kami mulakan pendakian. Saya dan Papaboyz, Adik dan 2 ustaz. Pemandu pendaki kami, seorang remaja bernama Muhamad, Arab Badwi yang fasih berbahasa Inggeris. MasyaAllah laju dia berjalan tak mengah. Saya mula2 mendaki dengan unta hinggalah 3/4 dari seluruh perjalanan, kemudian kena panjat sendiri kerana curam dan tidak sesuai untuk unta naik.

Muhammad dan Ustaz Badrul

Papaboyz di papan tanda kaki Gunung Sinai

(Budak-budak mana? Diorang tidur di hotel bersama Atuk, Wan dan Maklong. Terima kasih Atuk, Wan dan Maklong jaga hero-hero)

Kami beruntung. Malam pendakian kami adalah malam bulan mengambang dan langit cerah. Lembah Suci ini sunyi sepi tetapi 'hidup'. Gunung-ganang sekitar berwarna perak disebalik kehitaman malam. Mungkin refleksi dari cahaya bulan. Saya cuba ambil gambar tetapi hanya retina mata yang dapat merakamnya. Tidak lensa kamera. Saya harap saya tak akan lupakan imej itu.

Di kaki lembah ini terdapat St Katherine Monastery, antara biara Kristian Orthodox yang tertua di dunia.

St Katherine Monastery

Semasa di atas unta saya hanya memerhatikan lembah ini. Saya bawa MP3 player kerana takut kebosanan mendaki tetapi langsung tak pasang. Kerana kesunyian (ketenangan?) itu sendiri telah membunuh kebosanan yang saya takuti. Hanya derap tapak kaki unta dan sesekali arahan dari penggembala unta itu memecah kesunyian. Langit malam sangat cerah penuh bintang. Patutlah Nabi Musa (as) ke sini untuk bermunajat.

Sepanjang perjalanan terdapat beberapa kedai Pak Arab yang menjual air, dan makanan, termasuk minuman panas. Dan indomie panas :) . Pandai betul. Tapi kami khuatiri punca air dan kebersihannya.

Salah satu kedai dalam perjalanan ke puncak. Lengkap dengan tempat istirehat.

Sembang pagi

Sempat baring

Kami sambung mendaki. Sampai di puncak masih belum ramai orang. Di puncak Gunung Sinai ada sebuah masjid dan sebuah gereja. Di tepi masjid terdapat sebuah ruang bawah tanah yang dikatakan tempat Nabi Musa (as) duduk bermunajat. Tak tahulah betul atau tidak sebab memanglah tiada kesan apa-apa. Wallahualam. Yang penting bukan tempatnya, tetapi apa yang berlaku, betul tak?

Gereja


Masjid- diambil waktu siang

Kawasan yg dikatakan tempat Nabi Musa (as) bermunajat

Sampai di masjid kami berehat menunggu solat Subuh. Kami berjumpa dengan satu keluarga dari Malaysia. Seorang pakcik, isteri dan anak-anak perempuannya. Ini kali kedua pakcik itu mendaki Gunung Sinai. Solat Subuh diimami Ustaz Badrul yang membacakan Surah At-Tur. Penuh masjid, hingga ada yang menunggu di luar dan mereka terpaksa membuat jemaah kedua.

Aktiviti memeriksa masjid

Tempat imam

Bertafakur?

Yang beragama lain pula kedengaran mendendangkan lagu-lagu keagamaan mereka di luar.

Kemudian kami menunggu matahari terbit. Ada ramai juga peniaga di puncak ini. Bukan sahaja minuman panas, mereka juga menyewakan selimut dan tilam. Memang sangat sejuk di atas sana. Tapi tilam itu pernah dibasuh atau tidak? :P

Penjual di puncak Gunung Sinai

Matahari terbit. Romantik? Oh tidak. Ramai orang yer. :)

Antara yang bersidai menunggu matahari terbit

Ramai lagi

Subhanallah! (what else to say)

Lembah Suci disimbahi cahaya matahari

Adik.. merenung masa depan?

Kemudian kami turun, bayar Mohammad, balik hotel dan pengsan :D

Yang bertongkat pun ada- pilgrimage untuk mereka?

Eh, sempat lagi berdating yer....

Meninggalkan bayang dan tapak kaki di Lembah Suci

Ada apa lagi di Semenanjung Sinai? Kami melawat Makam Nabi Harun (as), Makam Nabi Saleh (as) dan batu pada bukit yang dikatakan Lembu Samiri.

"Lembu Samiri"

Tak pasti lah betul ke ini lembunya atau diukir rakyat tempatan, sebab dalam Surah Taha Nabi Musa (as) berjanji untuk membakar patung itu dan menabur abunya di lautan.

Makam Nabi Harun (as)

Makam Nabi Harun (as) dan gereja di sebelahnya

Makam Nabi Saleh (as)

Pintu masuk makam

Dalam makam

Kawasan perkuburan di sekitar Makam Nabi Saleh (as)

Berakhirlah kami menjejaki sebahagian hidup Nabi Musa (as). Makam baginda di Baitul Muqaddis. Sekiranya ke Mesir, jangan lupa peruntukkan 3 hari di Semenanjung Sinai.

Zeitoun

2011-04-22T09:45:00.000+01:00

Dulu saya cari buku tentang Taufan Katrina yang melanda New Orleans, Amerika pada tahun 2005. Bila saya terjumpa buku ini, sukanya hati sebab ia kisah sebuah keluarga muslim disitu.

Sebab malas nak tulis banyak, saya copy ringkasan ini dari satu review di Amazon:

This is a non fiction account of Abdulrahman Zeitoun an immigrant from Syria and his wife Kathy who in 2005 owned a successful house-painting business in New Orleans. When Katrina hits Abdulrahman stays behind to watch out for his property. Eggers was not present at the disaster but has essentially ghost written this book for the Zeitoun's. And what a story it is. There are no great rants against Bush or the incompetent New Orleans authorities. Eggers doesn't need to do this since the facts as presented are the most massive indictment in their own right and speak for themselves.

Abdurrahman tinggal seorang diri untuk mempertahankan rumahnya semasa Katrina melanda (baiki lubang, alih perabot etc. Setiap hari dia berkayuh dengan sampannya membantu jiran-jiran yang terkandas dan memberi makan anjing-anjing yang ditinggalkan. Ye lah, tuan punya anjing selamatkan diri sendiri je. Pada satu hari tiba-tiba dia ditahan tanpa bicara oleh penguatkuasa yang lengkap bersenjata M16 dan bullet proof vest. Dia dipenjara di penjara maksimum sekuriti, yang tak ada beza dengan Guantanamo Bay. Tiada ahli keluarganya yang tahu dia di mana.

Siapakah orang pertama membantu Abdurrahman di penjara? Seorang paderi Kristian. Memang paderi itu berhati mulia. Apa yang dia buat boleh membahayakan dirinya, tapi dia mengoyakkan secebis kertas dari Biblenya, menulis nombor telefon isteri Abdurrahman dan memberi khabar pertama dari Abdurrahman kepada isterinya.

Amerika memang takutkan bayang-bayang sendiri. Ketika amaran taufan akan melanda, pekeliling yang dikeluarkan ialah tentang kebarangkalian ancaman pengganas. Skuad-skuad tentera diletakkan di New Orleans, malah ada yang diimport dari Israel. Bukan nasib penduduk yang didahulukan. Betullah kata Sheikh Yusuf Estes, siapa yang tak takut pada Allah, akan takut kepada makhluk ciptaan Allah.

Walaupun orang kata Abdurrahman berada di tempat salah pada masa yang salah, tapi Abdurrahman kata "Allah masukkan saya dalam penjara untuk menyelamatkan saya dari perkara yg lebih buruk". Tabik hormat. Semoga berkat Allah sentiasa bersamamu, Abdurrahman.

Gambar terbaru Abdurrahman dan isteri, Kathy Zeitoun dihadapan rumah mereka. Saya cilok dari sini.

Buku ini telah memenangi beberapa anugerah, antaranya ialah American Book Award, Dayton Literary Peace Prize, LA Times Book Award dan Northern California Book Award. Malah jualan buku disalurkan kepada The Zeitoun Foundation, yang membiayai pembangunan semula New Orleans.

Bacalah. Perangai sesetengah manusia lebih teruk dari binatang.

Teka-teki budak 4 tahun

2011-04-03T09:23:00.001+01:00

Semalam melayan Ammar main teka-teki. Ammar tukang bagi soalan, Mama kena jawab. Jawapan hanya yes or no saja. Antara soalannya:

Ammar: Can you eat toast and beans with your mama? Yes or no?
Mama : Yes.
Ammar: Wrong!
Mama : Why wrong? (tak puas hati)
Ammar: Because you can not eat your mama!

Ammar: Can you drink water with lots of food? Yes or no?
Mama : Yes.
Ammar: Wrong!
Mama : huh?
Ammar: you can not drink food!

Ammar: Can your mama sit on your small puzzle? Yes or no?
Mama : errr...(susah jugak soalan ni)..No.
Ammar: Correct!
Mama : (lega)

Ammar: Can you put your mama on your blocks? Yes or no?
Mama : No.
Ammar: Wrong! You can build your blocks big enough to put your mama on it.
Mama : oooooo really?

A veil lifted

2011-04-02T08:04:00.000+01:00

Can't afford to lose this article. The author just defined me.

".......feeble are those who seek and those sought"
(Al-Hajj:73)

A person who seek for something other than Allah (wealth, fame, positions, relationships, etc etc) are weak, and so are the things he sought.

If you think you don't really love this world for its wealth and materials, look again. You may be attached to something else. As for me, I'm deeply attached to outcomes, people's perception, self-control, results. Now what will happen to me if I lose one of those? I will be shattered beyond repair. How true are Allah's words. How feeble are the things I attached myself to.

JazakAllahu khair Sister Yasmin.

Why do people have to leave each other?

By Yasmin Mogahed

When I was 17 years old, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting inside a masjid and a little girl walked up to ask me a question. She asked me: “Why do people have to leave each other?” The question was a personal one, but it seemed clear to me why the question was chosen for me.

I was one to get attached.

Ever since I was a child, this temperament was clear. While other children in preschool could easily recover once their parents left, I could not. My tears, once set in motion, did not stop easily. As I grew up, I learned to become attached to everything around me. From the time I was in first grade, I needed a best friend. As I got older, any fall-out with a friend shattered me. I couldn’t let go of anything. People, places, events, photographs, moments—even outcomes became objects of strong attachment. If things didn’t work out the way I wanted or imagined they should, I was devastated. And disappointment for me wasn’t an ordinary emotion. It was catastrophic. Once let down, I never fully recovered. I could never forget, and the break never mended. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again.

But the problem wasn’t with the vase. Or even that the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables. Through my attachments, I was dependent on my relationships to fulfill my needs. I allowed those relationships to define my happiness or my sadness, my fulfillment or my emptiness, my security, and even my self-worth. And so, like the vase placed where it will inevitably fall, through those dependencies I set myself up for disappointment. I set myself up to be broken. And that’s exactly what I found: one disappointment, one break after another.

But the people who broke me were not to blame any more than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase. We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us.

Our weight was only meant to be carried by God. We are told in the Quran: “…whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Qur’an 2: 256)

There is a crucial lesson in this verse: that there is only one handhold that never breaks. There is only one place where we can lay our dependencies. There is only one relationship that should define our self-worth and only one source from which to seek our ultimate happiness, fulfillment, and security. That place is Allah.

But this world is all about seeking those things everywhere else. Some of us seek it in our careers, some seek it in wealth, some in status. Some, like me, seek it in our relationships. In her book, Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert describes her own quest for happiness. She describes moving in and out of relationships, and even traveling the globe in search of this fulfillment. She seeks that fulfillment—unsuccessfully—in her relationships, in meditation, even in food.

And that’s exactly where I spent much of my own life: seeking a way to fill my inner void. So it was no wonder that the little girl in my dream asked me this question. It was a question about loss, about disappointment. It was a question about being let down. A question about seeking something and coming back empty handed. It was about what happens when you try to dig in concrete with your bare hands: not only do you come back with nothing—you break your fingers in the process. And I learned this not by reading it, not by hearing it from a wise sage. I learned it by trying it again, and again, and again.
And so, the little girl’s question was essentially my own question…being asked to myself.

Ultimately, the question was about the nature of the dunya as a place of fleeting moments and temporary attachments. As a place where people are with you today, and leave or die tomorrow. But this reality hurts our very being because it goes against our nature. We, as humans, are made to seek, love, and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent. We are made to seek what’s eternal. We seek this because we were not made for this life. Our first and true home was Paradise: a land that is both perfect and eternal. So the yearning for that type of life is a part of our being. The problem is that we try to find that here. And so we create ageless creams and cosmetic surgery in a desperate attempt to hold on—in an attempt to mold this world into what it is not, and will never be.

And that’s why if we live in dunya with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this dunya hurts. It is because the definition of dunya, as something temporary and imperfect, goes against everything we are made to yearn for. Allah put a yearning in us that can only be fulfilled by what is eternal and perfect. By trying to find fulfillment in what is fleeting, we are running after a hologram…a mirage. We are digging into concrete with our bare hands. Seeking to turn what is by its very nature temporary into something eternal is like trying to extract from fire, water. You just get burned. Only when we stop putting our hopes in dunya, only when we stop trying to make the dunya into what it is not—and was never meant to be (jannah)—will this life finally stop breaking our hearts.

We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. That we need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.
And pain is a pointer to our attachments. That which makes us cry, that which causes us most pain is where our false attachments lie. And it is those things which we are attached to as we should only be attached to Allah which become barriers on our path to God. But the pain itself is what makes the false attachment evident. The pain creates a condition in our life that we seek to change, and if there is anything about our condition that we don’t like, there is a divine formula to change it. God says: “Verily never will God change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.” (Qur’an, 13:11)

(kalau terjumpa ayat ni di mana2, selalu yg saya faham ialah Allah tak akan mengubah keadaan sesuatu kaum hingga mereka mengubah keadaan mereka sendiri- tapi bukan begitu? bukannya mengubah keadaan mereka ie situasi, pelan tindakan etc tetapi apa yang ada dalam diri mereka)

After years of falling into the same pattern of disappointments and heartbreak, I finally began to realize something profound. I had always thought that love of dunya meant being attached to material things. And I was not attached to material things. I was attached to people. I was attached to moments. I was attached to emotions (that's me!--hantuk kepala). So I thought that the love of dunya just did not apply to me. What I didn’t realize was that people, moments, emotions are all a part of dunya. What I didn’t realize is that all the pain I had experienced in life was due to one thing, and one thing only: love of dunya.

As soon as I began to have that realization, a veil was lifted from my eyes. I started to see what my problem was. I was expecting this life to be what it is not, and was never meant to be: perfect. And being the idealist that I am, I was struggling with every cell in my body to make it so. It had to be perfect (that's me again). And I would not stop until it was. I gave my blood, sweat, and tears to this endeavor: making the dunya into jannah. This meant expecting people around me to be perfect. Expecting my relationships to be perfect. Expecting so much from those around me and from this life. Expectations. Expectations. Expectations (ME AGAIN). And if there is one recipe for unhappiness it is that: expectations. But herein lay my fatal mistake. My mistake was not in having expectations; as humans, we should never lose hope. The problem was in *where* I was placing those expectations and that hope (that's my BIG problem). At the end of the day, my hope and expectations were not being placed in God. My hope and expectations were in people, relationships, means. Ultimately, my hope was in this dunya rather than Allah.

And so I came to realize a very deep Truth. An ayah began to cross my mind. It was an ayah I had heard before, but for the first time I realized that it was actually describing me: “Those who rest not their hope on their meeting with Us, but are pleased and satisfied with the life of the present, and those who heed not Our Signs.” (Qur’an, 10:7)

By thinking that I can have everything here, my hope was not in my meeting with God. My hope was in dunya. But what does it mean to place your hope in dunya? How can this be avoided? It means when you have friends, don’t expect your friends to fill your emptiness. When you get married, don’t expect your spouse to fulfill your every need. When you’re an activist, don’t put your hope in the results (these are all my expectations). When you’re in trouble don’t depend on yourself. Don’t depend on people. Depend on God.

Seek the help of people—but realize that it is not the people (or even your own self) that can save you. Only Allah can do these things. The people are only tools, a means used by God. But they are not the source of help, aid, or salvation of any kind. Only God is. The people cannot even create the wing of a fly (22:73). And so, even while you interact with people externally, turn your heart towards God. Face Him alone, as Prophet Ibrahim (as) said so beautifully: “For me, I have set my face, firmly and truly, towards Him Who created the heavens and the earth, and never shall I give partners to Allah.” (Qur’an, 6:79)
But how does Prophet Ibrahim (as) explain coming to that point? He explains his study of the stars, the moon, and the sun, and the fact that they were not perfect.

They set.

So he was thereby led to face Allah alone. Like prophet Ibrahim (as), we need to put our full hope, trust, and dependency on God. And God alone. And if we do that, we will learn what it means to finally find peace and stability of heart. Only then will the roller coaster that once defined our lives finally come to an end. That is because if our inner state is dependent on something that is by definition inconstant, that inner state will also be inconstant. If our inner state is dependent on something changing and temporary, that inner state will be in a constant state of instability, agitation, and unrest. This means that one moment we’re happy, but as soon as that which our happiness depended upon changes, our happiness also changes. And we become sad. We remain always swinging from one extreme to another and not realizing why.

We experience this emotional roller coaster because we can never find stability and lasting peace until our attachment and dependency is on what is stable and lasting. How can we hope to find constancy if what we hold on to is inconstant and perishing? In the statement of Abu Bakr is a deep illustration of this truth. After the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ died, the people went into shock and could not handle the news. But although no one loved the Prophet ﷺ like Abu Bakr, Abu Bakr understood well the only place where one’s dependency should lie. He said: “If you worshipped Muhammad, know that Muhammad is dead. But if you worshipped Allah, know that Allah never dies.”

(He was the one who loved the Prophet the most, how would we feel if the person we love the most died? But how could he be the most calm? No wonder he was As-Siddiq)

To attain that state, don’t let your source of fulfillment be anything other than your relationship with God. Don’t let your definition of success, failure, or self-worth be anything other than your position with Him (Qur’an, 49:13). And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes.

Looking back at the dream I had when I was 17, I wonder if that little girl was me. I wonder this because the answer I gave her was a lesson I would need to spend the next painful years of my life learning. My answer to her question of why people have to leave each other was: “because this life isn’t perfect; for if it was, what would the next be called?”

Toxic Childhood Syndrome

2011-03-25T06:34:00.000Z

This is going to be long.

If you are a parent who lives in the modern world (kalau kat kampung tak apa lagi kot), or planning to have children, I URGE you to read this book (not suggest or recommend hehehe). If you are a grandparent, you might want to suggest this book to your children. This is like knowing your enemy to win a war, the enemy is the modern world, which is convenient to adults but a threat to children.

Toxic Childhood- How The Modern World Is Damaging Our Children And What We Can Do About It

(Serius tajuk buku ni)

The author, Sue Palmer, has 30 years of experience in teaching and education. She is also the author of more than 200 books, TV programmes, and software for 3-12 year olds. She is also an adviser for British Dept for Education and Skills, and The BBC.

The book covers all expect of modern childhood and parenting, including food, play, sleep, communication, the danger of advertising to kids etc etc. The researches are from developed countries (UK, US, Japan, Sweden, Finland, Germany etc) . It is very different from traditional childhood. The world is moving very fast, but we forgot that biologically we still grow at the same rate. The world today is for a happier, comfortable adult, but how this affect the brain and development of our children? It is proven now that developmental disorders (autism, attention deficit, learning difficulty etc) are way higher than before. And we all know this, kids respect adults less. The effects are less in Malaysia I think, but no doubt we are moving towards there.

We think that child-rearing is 'natural'. But it was natural before because our parents' generation lived in extended families and could watch and learn by example from grandmothers, mother and aunts. But since today we live in nucleus families, we cannot assume this skill as natural anymore.

What I like about the book is, at the end of every chapter, there will be a section on "how to detox your child" eg how to detox a junk-addict, how to detox a tv -addict, how to avoid couch potato syndrome, how to detox consumer culture (brand-addicts) and many more.

Also after every chapter there will be sections on "Parent Power" and "Mind the Gap". What are these? I think these are the strength of the book. Rarely a book acknowledge that the people who are reading the book, are actually the people who don't need the book the most. Toxic Childhood Syndrome hit the poor urban people the most, but they most likely won't have the time or initiative to read at all. So these sections give some guidance on how the readers can help other parents to to close the gap. Why this is important to the readers? Because OUR children won't be safe unless OTHER children are safe too (peer pressure, drugs, gangsterism). Beautiful concept of the ummah. And the author wisely recognize this. Masya Allah.

In Finland a nursery teacher has to have a Masters Degree (!) to handle the youngsters. In Britain, the poor people are unhappier than the poorest people in a poor country.

Chapter 6 hit home the most, "Who's Looking After the Children?". This chapter deals with when both parents work, who is with the children (also applies to the 'electronic babysitters' ie TV, computers, games etc). There's a difference in child-rearing and baby sitting. If more than a couple of hours a day, than that's child-rearing. So the person we send our children to 8 hours a day (that we usually call baby sitter) or the maid in our houses, are rearing our children, not baby sitting. They influence the development of our children greatly. So choosing them is as important as choosing your spouse (if you care about the emotional outcome of your children). Something to remember here. For children under 3, who you choose will not determine your child's intelligence so much (kids can catch up later), but it affects their emotional personality very much. This stage determines whether they grow up to be somebody happy and positive, somebody angry, somebody depressive, somebody with labile mood or somebody narcissistic (attention seeker). It's best that they stay in a home (ie with a parent, a family member, a nanny or maid, or in a child minder's house) and have 1 to 1 relationship, rather than an institution (a nursery). And avoid too much changes at this stage. For under 3s, it's better to choose someone loving and firm, and loves the child even though she lacks qualification or knowledge on brain stimulation.

The 'ínternal map' of a child is largely determined by relationships formed during this period. 3 identified risks for insecure attachment in children under two are: more than 10 hours of daycare a week in the first year, a change in the childcare arrangements in the first year, and low quality daycare (no info on what is considered as low quality). For good quality daycare, more than 20 hours a week there is slight increase in disruptive, antisocial and less cooperative behaviour. The risks increase after 40 or more hours a week (and this is normal if both parents are working). Remember, this is a good nursery. It still affects your child emotional development. The study was in UK and US.

But for 3 and above, nursery setting is good for them (stimulation, friends, rules etc).

Another eye-opener chapter is on advertisements and marketing on children. Marketeers use weapon known as the KAGOY strategy (Kids Are Getting Older Younger)- to let children appreciate fashion and style (and associate it with their dignity and self worth). Video games' slogan like "Life is short, play more" and "Life's a Game" plant the idea that life is all about fun and games etc. As Muslims this is of course the opposite of what life truly is. The channel Nickelodeon's slogan is 'Kids Rule'- that's not what we want isn't it? Also, now we value people as 'what you are is what you own'. In a developed world, poverty can be so isolating, the discrepancy is staring at you all the time.

What we can do about this?

Don't give in to the pester power of the children (this is what the marketeers are targeting). Support your national campaign to ban advertising and branding to children (is there one in Malaysia?- I haven't find out yet). If your child can understand, whenever they see an advert, discuss with them- what aren't they telling us? Can the so called product bring us contentment or add values to our lives? Are the people in the advert corresponds to real life?

Something to ponder. We teach sex education at school, but we don't teach about the product of sexual relationships (babies) , how to handle them, nurture them, their developmental stages, the financial effects etc? The developmental stages of a child should also be taught in antenatal classes. I learned this in medical school, and I benefited a lot from it. For example, when our babies started throwing toys, we sometimes got angry, but if we know that this is actually a milestone for them, and that there is about 3 months different in just dropping toys and dropping toys followed by looking for it, we would say Alhamdulillah instead of being angry when our children start throwing toys.

I would like to jot down a few points here, for my own reminder. Read on if you like (or get the book yourself). To family members and friends, I anticipate you would ask me your favorite question every time I write a book review- no this is not my book. I borrowed it from the library. Had to pay fines on it because I could not renew the book as somebody else has reserved it. Ipad, Iphone, Ipod Touch and Kindle owners- the Kindle version is cheaper (memang semua pun macam tu kot kan?)

1. Eat family meals in a tv free zone.
2. Limit fast foods to eating out, and don't view it as a treat. Just a matter of convenience.
3. Make sure your kids' schools don't sell junks in canteen or vending machine. If this is the case, get other parents to campaign together. Parents can move heaven and earth when it comes to things concerning their children.
4. We want free range chickens, and beef and eggs, but not free range children? To make sure they can safely explore the neighborhood, choose a friendly neighborhood to live in, then make friends with all neighbors so everybody can keep an eye on every child. This has to be a concerted effort, but it begins with the parents. This is one striking thing lacking in modern society. (kalau kat kampung, memanglah hidup macam ni kan)
5. Never put tv in a child's bedroom until they can buy it themselves. Just like you would never let strangers sleep with your child.
6. Don't be put off by other parents' apparent competence and organization. Everyone puts on a front, but every parent is struggling.
7. Primary education is not a race. Children who do well in the long run are those who enjoy learning for their own sake, don't give up easily and can work well with others.
8. Don't take good behaviour for granted. Praise them and say you are pleased. But don't overdo it.
9. Never 'reward' a misbehaviour eg-by giving attention to a child misbehaving, by giving a treat to stop a child doing something, by laughing at bad behaviour.
10. If you have a 'little monster', choose your battles one by one. Concentrate to detox one behaviour at one time. There is a special section in this book on 'how to detox a little monster'.
11. If a child misbehaves, explain what you don't like and why, and never criticize more than necessary. State firmly and warn to punish, and don't carry on giving warnings. Always follow through. Your child will know that you are not serious if you don't.

There is a list of 34 life skills a child should learn by age 12, I'm putting some here as my own list to tick :)

1. Sew buttons and iron own clothes (ni kalau nak masuk asrama wajib tahu ni)
2. Handwash clothes (ni pun)
3. Give simple first aid (clean wound, manage cuts and bruises)
4. Wash a car
5. Wash dishes and prepare the table (ni rasa 7-8 thn mesti patut dah pro)
6. Grow a plant (interesting...)
7. Look after a pet (I probably would choose easy ones like fish, turtles but not cat-saya fobia kucing)
8. Use the public transport by himself (this I mastered at age 10-balik sekolah sendiri naik bas awam)
9. Go shopping with a list
10. Clean a fridge (this I learned quite early too, my mum did not have a maid)
11. Sort the recycling
12. Make conversations with guests (important-but how?)

My Little Assistants

2011-03-23T07:08:00.000Z

Who needs a maid when you have 3?

Mama's little laundry assistant (budak boleh harap)


Mama's morning buddy- pukul 6 pagi. Aktiviti: hias kapal terbang dengan stickers.

Mama's kitchen assistant- making honey cornflakes

Mama's kitchen assistant- coating doughnuts with sugar

Making own buttered toast

Mama's little angels :D

The Diary of Ma Yan

2011-03-23T06:10:00.000Z

(wrote this on November 25th 2010- just realized I haven't publish it)

Remember I promised to write about the Diary of Ma Yan? She is a Muslim peasant girl of Ningxia, China. the area she lives is almost a desert and life is very hard there. In winter the snow is heavy, although it is a blessing to them because the snow is one of their main source of water (collected, stored and melted in underground cisterns to use in dry times). She rarely gets to eat meat, sometimes only once a year in eid-ul Adha.

She kept diaries of her days in a boarding school with her brother. There they only eat once a day during lunch, no breakfast or dinner. And only rice is provided. If the children have money they could buy vegetables.

I copied here her entry on one particular day that she was very hungry.

Tuesday 30th October 2000

It's freezing today. My brother and I have no more bread. At lunchtime, the comrades are all eating and we have to stand by and grit our teeth.

Seeing my tears, my brother says, as if his heart were light, "Wait, sister, I'm going to borrow some lunch tickets," But I know he feels no better than I do. He simply wants to console me and stop me worrying about him. I go back to my dorm and sit on my bed and wait for him to return.

I'm dreaming of tthis bowl of yellow rice.

He takes a very long time to come back. Then he says, "Sister, there's no more rice."

He turns to leave. I watch my brother's receding back and I can't help letting the tears flow.

Do you know what hunger is? It's an unbearable pain.

I wonder when I'll stop experiencing hunger at school.....

***
During one school holiday, her mum broke the news that she could not continue her education anymore. They dont' have enough money. Her parents could only afford to sent her brother to school. That particular year the draught was harsh.

She wrote her mother a sad letter. The mother was distraught. On the sight of some foreigners her mother made a quick decision. She gave the letter and Ma Yan's diary to them. That became her lifeline.

Alhamdulillah, she is not hungry anymore. She now receives scholarship from France (yes France, not any Muslim country) to complete her studies. She also receives royalties from the publication of her diaries, in which she kindly donated 25% of it to the Children of Ningxia Foundation to help her neighbors and other children of Ningxia to complete their education.

A Night's Prayer...

2011-03-06T07:04:00.000Z

for all Libyans, Egyptians, Palestinians and other oppressed brothers and sisters..

The other 6-year-old boy

2011-02-26T06:32:00.004Z

Dear Adam,

Today you are 6. It is time for Mama to tell you about a boy. This boy was very different from you. You have everything a 6 year-old could dream of. Mama and Papa, all four grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, good school, friends, unlimited toys, books. You never went to sleep hungry. You never woke up scared.

This boy, he lived 1400 years ago. When he was 6, your age now, his mom died. He became an orphan. His dad already died when he was still in his mummy's tummy. He was really poor. He did not have everything that you have now. He had to live with his other family members. Surely it was not the same as having your own parents.

He became a shepherd. He did not get to go to school. Nobody even taught him to read or write. There is a reason to this. Mama will tell later. But why Mama wants to tell you about this boy?

He was a very special boy. He was born with nothing. But he had something that no one else ever had as much, or would ever have as much, and that is Allah's love. You remember Allah? Mama already told you that Allah is the One who creates us, Whom we will go to when we leave this world, Whose Love and Mercy we should strive for every second of our lives.

Why you must know about this poor orphan boy? Because you must love him more than you love Mama, Papa, Ammar, Abid or yourself. And we all must love Allah like he loved Allah. It is easier said than done. He himself said (when he was older) that living in this world while striving to love Allah at the end of time (most probably our time now) would be like holding a burning coal. It is easier to let go than to endure. But to let go must never be your option. You must remember this.

Adam, his name was Muhammad. Whenever we say his name, we will say sallallahualaihiwassalam (peace be upon him). He is our Holy Prophet. Your two brothers have his name, but you don't. Because you have the name of another great Prophet whose story is more complicated. Mama will tell you when you are older, InsyaAllah.

When he was about your age now, he had to take care of sheeps. When he was a bit older, he learned to trade and became a businessman. Mama always wonder what he was like during this period of his life, the life before prophethood, because not much is said about it. What his thoughts were when he was tending the sheep, what he thought of his travels. Did he ever cried when he watched other kids with their mothers? Did he play games with other teenagers? How good was his sales skills? We know that he was an honest man. We know that he had some signs of his prophethood. But we know very little of this part of his life.

Do you wonder what he looked like? Well there are some description of the adult him. It was said that he was of a medium stature, he was neither very tall nor very short. He was handsome, of medium built and his hair was neither very curly nor very straight (but was slightly wavy). He had a wheat-coloured complexion. When he walked, he leaned forward slightly*. And he walked with a fast pace. Mama also read once that he always smile, and his smile would bring peace to one's heart, and when he shake his hand with another person, he would never be the one to let go first.

Why Allah loves him so much, Adam? Well, to start with, he never told a lie. His only priority is to please Allah and spread Allah's message. He once said that even if his favourite daughter Fatimah steals, he would cut her hand. Do Mama has the heart to cut your hand if you steal? Allah forbids we would ever be faced with that situation. Mama also knows that before he sleeps he would say Allah's name. Then he would wake up in the middle of the night to pray to Him. Some of his companions sometimes followed his night prayer. They said that when they followed the Prophet's (saw) night prayers, they would have to lean themselves onto pillars to support themselves because it was soo long. He would read AlBaqarah, Ali Imran and AnNisa' just in one rakaat. That was how long it was. Not just that, for every sentence that praise Allah, he would say tasbih. For every sentence on blessings, he would ask for priority from Allah. For every sentence on Hellfire, he would ask for Allah's forgiveness.**It was truly the prayer of one whose purpose of living was solely to worship Allah.

Can we ever meet him? In Heaven yes. But to reach him we must follow his footsteps. And the path would never be easy. The path to Heaven is full of hardship. It is the road less traveled. It is not the way of the majority.

Adam, you are 6 today. Remember this 6 year-old orphan boy. There are a lot more to tell. Not just about him, but also his wives, his loyal companions, his journeys. Mama will tell you more and more about him until he becomes your best friend. Then hopefully you will love him enough to be among his companions at our final destination.

Happy birthday Adam. May you have a blessed life, here and after.

Love,
Mama.

*Reported by Anas Bin Malik (ra)
** Reported by Abdullah Ibn Abbas (ra).

Jannah

2011-02-22T06:27:00.000Z

A goal so far.. yet so close

This is a poem by a young Muslim poet from America, Ammar Al-Shukry. Here is an interview of him by my favourite Virtual Mosque.

When asked how does he encourage others to experiment with and develop their creative talents, he answered:

My advice would be to highlight what makes you special and not what makes you ordinary. I’d always be disappointed when I’d hear a Muslim artist talking along the same lines as the non Muslims, about the same superficial things. It’s the syndrome that everyone is talking about how they want to be different but really acting the same. What makes us special is Islam. When we highlight, it we shine because all we’re doing is reflecting off of its light

********************************************************************

Another kinetic typograpic video on the story of Prophet Isa (as)- Al Hayat Al Dunya, narrated by Sheikh Yusuf Estes. A very disturbing one, made me ponder for days...

The Egypt Revolution

2011-02-12T08:08:00.006Z

I can't believe in my lifetime I would witness a great historical event, and I had the urge to record it in this blog. 18 days of mass protests, to bring down an arrogant tyrant. We have been following the Egypt Revolution closely, because we just returned from there, and also because our parents are still there. I feel lucky to have the opportunity to experience Egypt before the revolution, and perhaps in the future I will have the chance to go there again and appreciate the difference.

A lot can be learned from the revolution. It was powered by the youth and the professionals. It was somewhat well organized and peaceful (the protesters were peaceful). They marched together, have volunteers stood guard the entrances of Tahrir Square to prevent protesters from bringing weapons, doctors and nurses stations to care for the wounded, perform solat on the streets, respecting other religions etc. They fully utilized the mosques and the churches to organize movements, despite telephone and internet breakdown.

Photo by Mohamed Abed, Getty Images

In retrospect, the blocking of Facebook, Twitter and later internet has probably served as a catalyst to the revolution despite the regime's opposite intention. People could not just sit and follow from FB or Twitter in the comfort of their own living rooms, they were forced to join in the streets because they could not do otherwise. How magnificent was Allah's plan. He is indeed the Best Planner.

One thing for sure, they stand firm and stand united (am putting this in present tense as it is a du'a). They persevered. I remembered thinking how long they would last. I don't know if it were Malaysian youths how long we would last.

I also remember the feeling of disbelief after watching Mubarak's last speech. He was addressing the nation as if the people were with him. He was talking as if he was actually pressured from outside, not from his own countrymen. What a deluded tyrant.


love this pic- Source

The revolution is a symbol of unity. It was not led by Ikhwanul Muslimin or other party. I cannot help but put this photo of 2 million Egyptians praying behind one Imam. Simply moving.

Final Friday

Here is a video by a muslimah named Asmaa Mahfouz on January 18 that helped spark the revolution. She was calling people to come to Tahrir Square with her on January 25. It was really inspiring seeing her pledge. She said to the camera, man of Egypt, if you have some dignity and manhood, come with me and protect me. Allah won't change us unless we change ourselves first (Quran, 13:11), that's His promise. It went viral after that.

A personal account here by a young Egyptian dentist who marched with his gynecologist father. How the revolution grew the man in him and demolished his wall of fear.

And here is the faces and profiles of those perished. Doctors, lawyers, university graduates..they were not peasants. They were the country's assets. May Allah bless them for standing for the oppressed.

For you who do not care, take a step back and reflect. It is not too late to read, digest and learn from the revolution. Don't carry the nonchalant attitude as if this does not matter at all. This is a lesson in hope. In human dignity. Do not despair in whatever conditions you are in. Fight your own 'inner Mubarak'. (notice how the meaning of mubarak here has changed to something really opposite to the actual meaning). Fight for our own spiritually oppressed soul. Get up for prayers (on time!). Learn the Quran. Steadfast in guarding our heart and tongue. Teach our children. I read that the word iblis is rooted from the word 'ba-la-sa' which carries the meaning of despair. The Iblis caused you to despair because he is in despair himself. Have hope in Allah's Mercy.

May Allah bless Egypt with a Musa to replace the Pharaoh. And may Allah free Masjidil Aqsa and Baitul Muqaddis. May one day we can travel there safely and pray there, and remember that's the place where our Prophet (saw) was brought to the heavens on the night of Mikraj.

Jejak Nabi Musa (as)- Part 2

2011-02-11T07:41:00.001Z

Selepas seminggu di Kaherah, kami berpeluang melawat Semenanjung Sinai. Saya kata berpeluang kerana ia tiada dalam perancangan (perancangan belanjawan). Semua ayah Papaboyz tanggung :D. Kalau tidak memang tiada rezeki kami. Semasa merancang aktiviti ke Mesir saya ada mengira-ngira cukupkah kalau melencong ke Tanah Suci? Tapi rupa-rupanya rezeki kami bukan ke Tanah Suci tetapi Lembah Suci. Di manakah Lembah Suci itu?

Tak apa, kita cerita hal siangnya dulu. Dari Kaherah kami melintasi Terusan Suez dan melintas padang pasir untuk ke Taba'.

Gambar diambil dari sini.

Di Taba' kami berdiri di persisiran Teluk Aqabah melihat sempadan Israel dan Jordan. Singgah sekejap sahaja. Tapi sempat juga mendapat 3 pesanan teks dalam telefon bimbit dari syarikat telekomunikasi- 'Welcome to Israel, Welcome to Jordan, Welcome to Saudi Arabia'. Meriah.

Indahnya Teluk Aqabah..

Apa signifikannya Teluk Aqabah?

Kemungkinan Teluk Aqabah adalah tempat Nabi Musa (as) membelah laut untuk menyelamatkan kaumnya dari Firaun. Tiada bukti sahih di mana lokasi sebenar kejadian hebat itu, walaupun ada teori mengatakan di sekitar Nuweiba (lihat peta) kerana penemuan artifak ribuan tahun di dasarnya (wallahualam). Teluk Aqabah juga kemungkinan tempatnya Nabi Musa (as) bertemu Nabi Khidir (as), nabi yang lebih banyak ilmu darinya.

Yang penting, bukan lokasinya, tapi iktibar kejadiannya. Kita selalu mengaitkan kejadian membelah laut itu dengan mukjizat hebat Nabi Musa (as). Tapi ketika berhadapan dengan lautan luas (kemungkinan mati) dengan tentera Firaun di belakang (juga kemungkinan mati), apakah perasaan kaum Nabi Musa (as)? Apakah pula perasaan Nabi Musa (as)? Ia dua perkara yang bertentangan.

Bani Israel : Sesungguhnya kita akan dapat ditawan!
Nabi Musa (as) : Sekali-kali tidak! Sesungguhnya Tuhanku besertaku, kelak Dia akan memberi petunjuk kepadaku.

(Dialog dari Al-Quran, 26:61-62)

Di kala bertemu jalan buntu, dikelilingi pula aura negatif dari kaumnya, Nabi Musa (as) masih teguh tawakalnya.

Mengenai pertemuan dengan Nabi Khidir (as) pula, sangat banyak hikmahnya. Baca banyak kali pun, setiap kali tentu akan terjumpa hikmah yang baru. Tetapi ia kisah yang menunjukkan macammana tinggi kita belajar pun, berapa banyak ilmu yang kita ada pun, ada orang lain yang lebih pandai dari kita, dan kita tak akan bersabar dengan sesuatu yang tidak kita ketahui.

Saat mereka didalam perahu yang ditumpangi, datanglah seekor burung lalu hinggap di hujung perahu itu. Burung itu meneguk air dengan paruhnya, lalu Nabi Khidir berkata, “Ilmuku dan ilmumu jika berbanding dengan ilmu Allah, adalah seperti air yang diteguk burung itu dari lautan yang luas ini." (Sahih Bukhari)

Dan, ilmuku dan ilmu-mu, tidak setitik pun dari ilmu kedua-dua manusia hebat itu.

p/s- Lembah Suci dalam Part 3 ok..

Bebelan hari ini

2011-02-09T06:47:00.000Z

Saya baca di website Ustaz Zaharuddin (UZAR) yang dia baru bertemu dengan Sheikh Yusuf Qardawi. Kemudian dengan semangat berkobar-kobar UZAR menulis artikel yang menarik dan penting ini.

Kalau kita nak ilmuwan Islam kita dipandang tinggi, yang jadi ustaz/ustazah itu mesti dari golongan cream of the cream. Bukan sisa-sisa pelajar yang tak dapat masuk sekolah asrama penuh atau MRSM. Bukan budak malas yang tak suka pergi kelas.

Sebenarnya kan, semasa saya pergi ke Mesir, saya terperanjat adanya kempen pergi ke kuliah yang dirasmikan oleh ayah mertua saya. Saya nampak posternya. Sepanjang saya di sekolah dan di universiti tak pernah saya jumpa kempen macam ini. Semua orang tahu siapa tak pergi kelas rugi. Ini berat untuk saya tulis, tapi nampaknya pelajar agama kita di Mesir suka ponteng kelas (nak guna ayat apa yg lebih sesuai?). Saya tak pasti apa sebabnya. Tapi kalau baca artikel UZAR itu, nampaknya sistem pembelajaran di Mesir tidak tersusun. Mungkin perlu inisiatif kuat dari pelajar sendiri. Siapa nak pergi, pergi. Siapa taknak tiada paksaan. Mungkin professor2 mereka tak berapa pandai bersyarah. Tak tahulah. Tapi ada juga yang rajin. Setiap pagi lepas subuh ayah mertua saya hantar sekumpulan pelajar perempuan belajar talaqqi.

Mengenai pelajar terbaik Malaysia masuk jurusan agama ini, sebenarnya saya pun bersalah jugak. Masa Nik Nur Madihah kata dia nak melanjutkan pelajaran ke Jordan, hati saya bercakap sendiri, ya Allah ruginya, kenapa tak pergi UK atau US? Masa sekolah dulu pun, masa kelas agama Islam tak bagi perhatian sangat seperti masa kelas biologi atau fizik. Ini mindset saya. Patutlah Rasulullah (saw) cakap ilmu ini akan hilang walaupun kita ajarkan Al-Quran pada setiap generasi. Sebab yang memegangnya bukanlah orang yang paling cerdik dan bukan orang paling dahaga ilmu.

Satu perkara yang berkaitan. Melalui beberapa insiden, saya juga baru tersedar yang memang majoriti orang tak suka baca buku. Saya geram. Selama ini saya suka menganggap yang persepsi ini sebenarnya salah, tetapi saya semakin merasakan yang ia betul. Sekiranya anda tak suka baca buku, cuba tanamkan ini dalam diri anak-anak anda. Ia sukar. Tapi ia berbaloi. Sila mulakannya semasa dia masih bayi. Jangan tunggu dia bercakap baru nak sorong buku. Biar buku koyak, boleh ganti lain.

eh..sorry yer, membebel pulak hari ni.

Tapi hari ini saya nak bersetuju dengan UZAR.

Jejak Nabi Musa (as)

2011-02-07T05:20:00.004Z

Sesiapa yang melawat Mesir tentunya mahu menyaksikan sendiri jejak-jejak Nabi Musa (as). Nabi Yusuf (as) juga di Mesir, malah menjadi pembesar lagi, tetapi tiada pula kesan peninggalannya. Apabila sudah kembali ke Manchester baru saya terfikir, kenapa tiada siapa yang menunjukkan kami tinggalan Nabi Yusuf (as) yang sangat hensem itu. Semasa di sana tidak terdetik pun untuk bertanya.

Mengimbas kembali perjalanan hidup Nabi Musa (as) secara ringkas- dilahirkan dalam bangsa bani Israel yang tertindas, dihanyutkan di Sungai Nil ketika masih bayi, dibesarkan di istana Firaun oleh isterinya yang ahli syurga, Permaisuri Asiah, kemudian melarikan diri ke Madyan setelah tidak sengaja membunuh seorang pengikut Firaun, tinggal 8 tahun di Madyan bersama seorang yang alim (dikatakan Nabi Shuib Alaihissalam) yang menjadi bapa mertuanya, kembali ke Mesir bersama isterinya, diberikan kerasulan di Lembah Tuwa, Sinai, berdakwah kepada Firaun bersama abangnya Nabi Harun (as), Mesir ditimpa bala Allah, melarikan diri bersama bani Israel dan membelah Laut Merah, bermunajat di Gunung Tursina dan menerima Kitab Taurat, kembali kepada kaumnya tetapi diuji hebat dengan kekufuran mereka, akhirnya wafat di Baitul Muqaddis (sebelum wafat sempat pula membutakan mata Malaikat Izrail).

Khabar terbaru Nabi Musa (as) yang kita ketahui ialah ketika Nabi Muhammad (saw) dibawa ke langit pada malam Isra' Mi'raj dan bertemu dengan Nabi Musa (as) di langit keenam. Kita terhutang budi dengan Nabi Musa (as) kerana kalau Nabi Musa (as) tidak menasihati Nabi Muhammad (saw) tentang jumlah solat fardhu dalam sehari, entah berapa banyak dosa kita tak mampu solat 50 kali sehari (lebih kerap dari setiap setengah jam, termasuk waktu tidur!). Dalam 2 jam tengok filem kena berhenti 4 kali untuk solat, kalau tengok perlawanan bola, 3 kali...Hmmm... .kesimpulannya Allah sebenarnya nak kita sentiasa dalam keadaan seperti bersolat, sentiasa ingatkan Dia. Kalau kita kena sembahyang 50 kali sehari, bermakna pakaian kita mesti sentiasa bersih dan cover habis supaya takdelah buang masa bukak pakai telekung bagai. Solat pun tentu kita akan lakukan dimana-mana contoh tepi meja ofis sebab satu hal pulak nak ke surau setiap setengah jam. Begitulah expectation Allah pada kita sebenarnya.

Begitulah besarnya jasa Nabi Musa (as) kepada kita umat Nabi Muhammad (saw).

Kalau saya baca kisah nabi, mesti saya tertanya-tanya macam mana agaknya nabi tersebut in person. Ini tabiat sejak kecil, itu sebab saya bila baca buku lambat habis sebab lebih banyak berangan. Nabi Musa (as) melalui yang saya baca, seorang yang berani dan tegas, kuat fizikal. Cerita-cerita baginda lebih banyak berkisar tentang sifat-sifat baginda yang ini. [Berbanding dengan Nabi Muhammad (saw) yang suka senyum, amanah, semua orang dilayan seperti sahabat terbaik, penyayang kepada anak yatim dan orang miskin etc.].

Contohnya, baginda berani mempertahan pemuda kaumnya hinggakan terbunuh pengikut Firaun. Kemudian berani berhujah dengan Firaun walaupun baginda mengalami masalah pertuturan (kerana termakan bara api ketika masih bayi-hal ini diejek oleh Firaun seperti dalam ayat Quran 43:52). Kemudian berani meminta untuk melihat Allah di Gunung Tursina. Kemudian apabila marah dengan kejadian lembu Samiri, baginda hinggakan menarik janggut dan rambut abangnya Nabi Harun (as) -20:94. Apabila Malaikat Izrail datang kepada baginda ditamparnya pula Malaikat Izrail hingga buta sebelah matanya. Kemudian berani pula memberi nasihat tanpa diminta kepada Nabi Muhammad (saw) semasa Isra' Mi'raj dengan cadangan yang berisiko tinggi juga. Memang jika hendak menentang firaun zaman moden ini seperti Hosni Mubarak, kenalah berbekalkan keberanian seperti Nabi Musa (as) juga.

Ehh..panjang pulak saya melalut yer..berbalik kepada jejak baginda yang ditinggalkan di Mesir.

Hari itu saya dah tunjuk gambar Sungai Nil. Memang besar yang amat sangat. Tak boleh bayang perasaan ibu kepada Nabi Musa (as) yang terpaksa menghanyutkan bayi kecilnya di situ. Tapi Allah Maha Kaya, ibu Nabi Musa (as) akhirnya ditugaskan untuk menyusukan bayi angkat permaisuri Firaun itu, bayinya sendiri.

Kali ini saya nak tunjuk gambar piramid pula. Piramid ni besar gilerr bak kata orang muda, satu unit batu yang digunakan untuk membinanya pun setinggi bahu saya.

Perhatikan skala manusia berbanding piramid

Kami sekeluarga yang di tengah-tengah tu (Papaboyz baju kuning)

Bila difikirkan, ini baru kubur-kubur si Firaun dan keluarga mereka. Bagaimana pula dengan istananya, balairong serinya, pejabat menteri-menteri dan pegawai-pegawai kerajaannya? Tentunya lebih besar dari apa-apa bangunan yang kita ada sekarang.

Selain itu, binaan piramid ini tepat ukurannya hingga beza setiap sisi tapak piramid itu sekadar beberapa milimeter sahaja, dengan setiap sisi tapaknya menunjuk ke arah utara, selatan, timur dan barat.

Abid dan Sphinx

Pak Arab peniaga di kompleks Giza (suka gambar ni)

Suka gambar ni jugak, pandai laki I amik kan..

Nanti sambung ok...

Today last year...

2011-02-04T15:00:00.000Z

.... I received a phone call from an emergency physician in Leeds General Infirmary. He told me my younger brother was in grave danger, both his kidneys failed, his blood pressure shot up and his blood potassium nearly made his heart stopped. The rest was history.

Today I'm happy to tell all of you that his recent PET scan 5 months after his last chemotherapy has not detected any sign of tumor. :D. All praises to Allah Almighty.

Ayim cycling

Outing with dearest niece, Ainaa Arissa

Allah can take any of His blessings in a flash. When it happens, it will knock you to the ground and you will be down on your knees, sobbing and begging. But it is what your soul really needs. A reminder that we are all His mere servants.

The recent developments in Egypt, I hope, will not force our 11 thousand students to stop their studies there. Suddenly their future is uncertain. Suddenly Allah takes away this luxury.

Narrated Ibn Abbas (radi Allahu anhu) that the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “There are two blessings which many people lose: health and free time for doing good.” [The Book of Ar-Riqaq: Sahih Bukhari].

Since this is the time when mandarin oranges are in abundance, please make maximum use of it to boost your immunity :D . When you are holding the orange in your hands, say Alhamdulillah for this little pleasure of having a choice to kill your cancer cells now before they manifest themselves.

Cairo's protest

2011-01-28T19:04:00.000Z

Seeing the latest images from Cairo as thousands flooded the streets today brought memories of the places and people of Egypt. They have been under the regime too long. When we were driving down the busy streets of Cairo, we were shown the massive high-walled compound of Hosni Mubarak's palace, with barbed wires on top, and armed sentries at regular intervals on top of the wall. The first thing that came to my mind was that it looked like a fortress. I don't have a picture of it as around the area there were signposts saying 'No photography'.

The silent fortress alone said a lot.Or just one word. Oppression.

The scenarios we saw at various mosques, really showed that the people were stricken by poverty. We didn't go to Zamalek, the rich people area on the island in the middle of Nile River. The air must be different.

The protesters in Cairo today. Pic taken here


A police checkpoint on the way to Sinai. I sneaked this shot while he was not looking. Police checkpoints are a common sight in Egypt.

The government blocked mobile phone lines, facebook and twitter yesterday to stop people spreading messages for gatherings. But the people managed to spread fire by word of mouth. Today their internet connection is cut down. MasyaAllah.

Ya Allah, bless the people of Egypt. Give them a king that fears You. Give them Your Strength to free themselves and their neighbor Palestine. And protect our family, brothers and sisters. Indeed You are our Mighty Protector. Ameen.

Masjid pertama Afrika

2011-01-20T21:26:00.000Z

Mari mengungkap sejarah keislaman Mesir.

Rasulullah (saw) pernah mewasiatkan kepada para sahabat, "Sepeninggalanku nanti, Mesir adalah menjadi kewajipan kalian untuk membebaskannya, maka perlakukanlah ke atas penduduknya dengan baik, kerana mereka mempunyai ikatan dan hubungan kekeluargaan dengan kita"

Ketika itu Mesir dijajah Empayar Rom. Gereja-gereja di Mesir memang besar-besar! Kubah pun macam masjid cuma ada tanda salib di atas.

Sebuah Gereja Koptik di Mesir. Menurut ustaz pemandu pelancong kami, di sini tersimpan Kitab Injil sebenar. Wallahualam.

Amirul Mukminin Umar Al-Khatab (ra) menyahut cabaran ini dan menghantar pasukan tentera yang diketuai General Amru Ibn Al 'As untuk membebaskan Mesir dari jajahan Empayar Rom. Pada tahun ke 20 Hijrah, mereka berjaya menundukkan empayar hebat itu dan Islam mula berkuasa di Mesir.

Sedikit mengenai Amru ibn Al 'As. Beliau pada awal kerasulan Nabi Muhammad (saw) adalah antara yang kuat menentang baginda. Beliau juga bersama Khalid Ibn Al-Walid telah sama-sama memimpin tentera Quraisy mengalahkan tentera Islam di Perang Uhud. Adakah anda ingat yang hijrah pertama orang Islam adalah ke Habsyah, yang ketika itu diperintah oleh seorang raja Kristian yang Ahli Kitab? Kemudian datang utusan dari pemimpin Quraisy meminta dihantar pulang penduduk Mekah yang berlindung di negara itu? Utusan itulah Amru Ibn Al 'As. Ketika itu berlaku soal siasat antara Jaafar ibn Abi Talib dengan pendita-pendita raja tersebut untuk memastikan kerasulan Nabi Muhammad (saw). Menurut Amr, ketika itu dia telah mula mempertikaikan keangkuhan pemimpin Quraisy setelah mendengar dialog Jaafar dengan Raja dan para pendita. Tetapi beliau tidak memeluk Islam ketika itu.

Beliau hanya memeluk Islam selepas Pembukaan Kota Mekah. Tetapi semasa pemerintahan Khalifah Abu Bakar As-Siddiq (ra), beliau menjadi rapat dengannya dan terus memainkan peranan penting dalam penyebaran Islam. Jadi pengislaman Mesir adalah di tangan Amr Ibn Al 'As.

Sebaik saja berjaya menakluk Mesir, beliau mendirikan sebuah masjid yang masih berdiri hingga ke hari ini. Ia masjid pertama yang dibina di benua Afrika. Di sini jugalah tempat Imam Shafiee mengajar.

Masjid Amru Ibn Al 'As

bahagian tengah masjid

ruang solat

Ada satu cerita menarik tentang Amr Ibn Al 'As di Mesir. Ketika Islam datang ke Mesir, mereka menghadapi masalah rakyat Mesir yang mempunyai kepercayaan turun temurun bahawa Sungai Nil perlu korban manusia setiap tahun (atau bulan?) untuk memastikan ia terus mengalir. Ritual ini dihentikan oleh Gabenor Amr Al 'As ketika itu. Tetapi kemudian Mesir dilanda kemarau dan Sungai Nil menyusut dari hari ke hari. Orang-orang Mesir mula marah dan bertegas yang Sungai Nil perlu korban nyawa untuk terus mengalir. Amr Al 'As kemudian menghantar surat kepada Khalifah Umar Al-Khatab meminta bantuan.

Khalifah Umar kemudian menghantar sepucuk surat, bukan kepada Amru, tetapi kepada Sungai Nil, yang berbunyi..

Surat ini dikirimkan kepada Sungai Nil oleh Umar, hamba Allah dan Amirul Mukminin. Wahai Sungai Nil! Jika air yang mengalir di sungai ini adalah atas kuasamu maka ketahuilah bahawa kami tidak memerlukan kau, tetapi jika ianya mengalir di atas kekuasaan Allah swt maka kepadaNya kami pohonkan agar mengalirkan air di sungai ini.

Amru Al As mencampakkan surat itu ke dalam Sungai Nil dan esoknya Sungai Nil naik aras airnya 48 kaki. Tak perlu korban manusia lagi.

Sungai Nil di waktu malam. Kelihatan Burj Al-Qahirah (Cairo Tower)

Gambar di atas diambil pada malam terakhir kami di Kaherah. Kami menaiki bot bercahaya meriah (siap dengan lagu gelek Arab) menyusuri Sungai Nil. Daratan yang kelihatan dalam gambar di atas bukannya seberang Sungai Nil, tetapi sebuah pulau di tengah Sungai Nil. Memang besar sungai ni. Patutlah rakyat Mesir takut dia kering sampai sanggup korbankan banyak nyawa.

Sungai Nil. Gambar dari Wikipedia

Please pray with us

2011-01-14T18:48:00.000Z

Assalamualaikum readers,

What is more heart wrenching than seeing your own child fighting for her life? 2 days ago Fariha bt Hj Morshidi was crossing a road on her way to her college in Manchester and she was hit by a car. She sustained serious brain injuries and a fractured pelvic. She now lies in a coma after a surgery removing blood clots from her brain.

All the Malaysians in Manchester are now praying for her safety and speed recovery. She is also the Iqra' teacher for our children in the weekly Sekolah Malaysia here. May Allah grants her health as she was before. And to her family members, may Allah ease their paths and give them endurance in this trying times, and reward their patience by raising them to a higher degree.

Please pray with us. Everything lies in Allah's Mercy now, as always.

A regret...

2011-01-04T18:15:00.000Z

"All humans are dead except those who have knowledge. And all those who have knowledge are asleep, except those who do good deeds. And those who do good deeds are deceived, except those who are sincere. And those who are sincere are always in a state of worry." -Imam Ash-Shaafi'ee

Imam,

I came to your place of rest with little knowledge of you.
I stared and sighed, with a heart full of regrets of not knowing you as much as I should.
I followed you blindly.
I heard of your greatness and love of knowledge but I never made the commitment to be like you.
Under the glow of the green light, I could not feel you.
There I sent you Al Fatihah, and made a promise that when I stand in front of our Prophet's,
I would not have the same regret.

Al Fatihah. May Allah reward you with all the honors in Jannah.

Masjid Imam Shafiee, Kaherah

Makam Imam Shafiee

Dear readers, please recommend me a book of his biography or his works that I can benefit from. Thank you.

Macam-macam Mesir

2011-01-02T17:48:00.000Z

1. Kami di Kaherah, Mesir tinggal di rumah ibu bapa Papaboyz (Atuk dan Wan). Atuk jaga pelajar2 tajaan Negeri Sembilan yang bakal jadi ustaz / ustazah. Di sekitar kawasan Rumah Negeri Sembilan ada Rumah Melaka dan Rumah Kelantan juga (Rumah Kelantan ada 3 biji ok--saya assume mungkin pelajar2 mereka pun 3 kali ganda banyaknya dari pelajar negeri lain).

Di depan Rumah Negeri Sembilan, Kaherah

2. Siapa datang Mesir senang je nak berjalan2. Upah saja bakal2 ustaz ni yang memang buat kerja sampingan jadi pemandu pelancong dari Malaysia. Mereka sewakan kereta / van lepas tu bawa pergi tempat-tempat menarik, makam-makam, membeli belah semua. Haaa masa membeli belah memang kena ada ustaz-ustaz ni sebab mereka pandai tawar harga. Saya tanya mereka ni belajar apa? Ada yang belajar Al-Quran, ada belajar syariah. Belajar Quran sampai 7 tahun, baru kira ada degree Quran. MasyaAllah... lamanya. Yang belajar perubatan di Kaherah tinggal di asrama lain, di bawah MSD, bukan kerajaan negeri. Berjalan dengan ustaz2 ni, kita tanya diorang soalan sejarah tempat-tempat tu, diorang jawab siap dengan ayat Quran semua. hehehe respect.

3. Jalanraya di Mesir ni tak ada undang-undang sangat. Semua selit-menyelit saja, 3 lorong jadi 6 lorong pun tak ada hal. Tali pinggang suka hati, boleh sumbat-sumbat kereta ramai-ramai. Jalan dikongsi kereta beroda dan kereta keldai, kereta kuda semua ada. Lampu isyarat hampir tiada.

4. Sini ramai orang tinggal dalam rumah yang bila ahli keluarga bertambah (kahwin etc), mereka cuma tambah je lagi satu tingkat dia atas bangunan yang sedia ada. Jadi rumah-rumah ni bumbung semua flat, bumbung cantik-cantik tak ada, senang nak tambah tingkat.

Tengok bangunan2 tu, semua macam separuh siap je kan, atas dia senang nak tambah tingkat bila diperlukan

5. Datang Mesir kena siap duit kecil banyak-banyak. Sebab mana-mana saja orang minta tips. Di airport minta tips. Naik unta dah bayar sewa unta pun tukang bawa unta mintak tips. Naik bot dah bayar bot pun mintak tips tambahan. Masuk masjid letak kasut tukang jaga kasut pun mintak tips. Yang minta sedekah pun ramai sebab ramai orang miskin. Siap-siap lah duit kecik banyak-banyak. Perkara ini memang sangat ketara hingga sebelum saya datang Mesir itulah yang dikomen oleh rakan sekerja saya yang pernah datang ke Mesir, "you have to tip everybody".

6. Walaupun mereka suka meminta, tapi mencuri tidak. Satu hari dompet Papaboyz terjatuh di tengah jalan di hadapan rumah. Dah setengah jam masuk rumah tiba-tiba ada student ketuk pintu pulangkan dompet. Tak sedar pun tercicir. Semua duit dan kad-kad segala ada cukup. Seorang lelaki tua yang 'homeless' yang selalu berlegar di kawasan itu yang menjumpainya dan menyerahkan pada student tadi. Atuk kata kalau beg kena ragut pun jerit saja dan pasti akan dapat semula beg dengan bantuan orang ramai.

7. Selain Egyptian cotton (yang memang mahal kalau nak beli kat UK ni), mereka banyak hasilkan kristal. Cantik! Kami pergi showroom Asfour Crystal. Penuh dengan chandelier dan ornamen mewah. Cuci mata je...

bling bling- semua kristal

alamak, menyesal pulak tak tangkap satu jam kristal ni

8. Saya pertama kali jumpa unta. Comelnya...hehehe. Semasa di Giza kami naik sekejap. Kemudian ketika mendaki Gunung Sinai saya naik lagi. Sebab dia tinggi pastu jalan melenggok-lenggok tu yang best.

Unta comel yang tahap kecomelan sama dengan panda

Konvoi unta, saya naik dengan Ammar

9. Kat sini ada roti canai sebesar dulang. Dalam perjalanan ke Alexandria kami singgah di Qariah Al-Asad (Kampung Singa) iaitu sebuah restoran yang ada mini zoo. Di situ beberapa orang perempuan duduk bersila menebar roti canai hingga selebar meja. Bila dah tebar diorang lipat jadi lebar dulang. Tapi makan cicah dengan madu dan satu 'sambal' yang rasanya macam tempoyak hahahaa. Perlahan je kitorang makan. Kalau pekena kari mesti dah licin sekelip mata.

tebar roti canai lebar meja, minyak yang diorang pakai toksah cakaplah, entah berapa liter

Roti canai lebar dulang

10. Di sini banyak kedai jual jus buah segar. Memang puree buah yang tak ada campur air. Minum jus mangga macam makan buah mangga. Satu gelas besar harga 2.50 LE saja (dalam 35pence). Murah sangat! Kalau saya duduk Mesir dijamin kuota 5 a-day tu mesti dapat terlaksanalah setiap hari. Anticancers at its cheapest.

Kedai jus buah, berhenti je kereta tepi jalan, order, minum dalam kereta pastu pulangkan gelas, dari delima sampai kiwi pun ada

Segelas koktail- guava + strawberry + pisang + epal

11. Satu hari kami pergi ke Dahab dan menginap di hotel di tepi pantai (depan pantai, belakang gurun). Air paip yang keluar adalah masin! Ya tak ya, mana pulak kat gurun nak dapat air, ambil kat laut lah jawabnya. Siapa yang ada anak kecil bawa lah travelling kettle sebab 2 hotel yang kami pergi dua-dua tidak menyediakan kettle. Lainlah kalau duduk Hilton atau Sheraton tak tahu lah.

12. Di satu lebuhraya ketika menuju Terusan Suez, terdapat satu siri papan tanda. Selang beberapa kilometer akan ada satu papan tanda. Apakah yang tertera di atas papan-papan tanda itu? Asma ul-Husna!

13. Kisah buku pulak. Di Mesir saya dapat satu buku istimewa iaitu sebuah kitab yang ditulis oleh Ibn Qayyim Al-Jauziyah (hidup kurun ke 13, antara gurunya ialah Ibn Taymiyyah dan antara muridnya ialah Ibn Kathir). Kalau bahasa Arab tajuknya Al-Tibb Al-Nabawiyya, terjemahnya Perubatan Nabi atau dalam english Healing with the Medicine of the Prophet. Siapa-siapa yang tahu mana-mana orang yang mengajarkan kitab ini bolehlah bagi tahu saya.

14. Di Mesir juga waktu saya sangat bermakna kerana berjaya menghabiskan Travelog Dakwah, Meniti hari Esok karangan Prof Kamil. Saya pinjam buku ibu mertua saya. Terima kasih, Mama. Buku ini memang dalam wishlist untuk beli bila balik Malaysia, tak sangka dapat baca lebih awal. Prof Kamil memang manusia yang bersungguh. Double respect.

nanti sambung lagi...

Preparing for 2011

2010-12-31T18:40:00.001Z

Tomorrow is the start of a new year, and insyaAllah it will be an interesting year for us. We are hopeful that we can return to Malaysia in a few months time and I have many plans ahead, especially for the kids. For myself, I plan to get back to work, as my family needs me, and also to study, medical and other things, and I ask Allah to give me good, righteous teachers. But to start the year, I want to be a more humble person.

If you are a doctor, you will understand that this is not easy. If you don't have a profession yet, and you want to be a humble person, then cross medical doctor out of your list. Being one is not good for one's ego. People constantly look high up on you, even your family members ("anak den doktor kat spital tampin tu haa")...---> ni bukan mak saya yg cakap ok...

Even in a small hospital, the doctors have their own parking spaces, their own pantry, in monthly assemblies (we are a government agency, remember) the front seats are reserved for us, the nurses and other support staffs greet us at the corridors. Whoever begin their work as a doctor with pure intentions in their hearts, will surely later have the seeds of arrogance planted. How many times do we feel that we have saved somebody while the truth is that it was never in our hands?

Indeed this arrogance and feeling of superiority is also displayed among the doctors themselves. Between consultants and junior doctors, between a physician and a surgeon ("this is my field, I know better than you") and between doctors in district hospitals and general hospitals.

Many times I have said that I want to study and become a specialist, but if becoming a specialist will result in me (or my family) being thrown into the Hellfire, then Ya Allah, please deter me from achieving it. Please be with me all the way. And if that is Your decision, please grant me sabar and redha.

The Iblis worshiped Allah longer than any of us, and has knowledge greater than any of us, but what made him The Cursed One? His arrogance that he was made from fire and Adam (alaihissalam) was only made from dirt.

Rasulullah (saw) said;

“The Heaven and Hellfire were arguing, and the Hellfire said, ‘What’s wrong with me? Only arrogant people go into me.’ The Heaven was saying, ‘What’s wrong with me? Only the humble people go into me.’”

I put an excerpt from a series of lectures by Imam Suhaib Webb on the Surah Al-Fatihah, in which he deals with the topic of arrogance. Taken from here.

In the Qur’an Allah (swt) gave us a story in Surat al-Hujurat. Some Arabs came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, “We believe, we are mu’minoon (believers).” Allah (swt) said, “The Bedouins say, “We have believed.” Say, “You have not [yet] believed; but say [instead], ‘We have submitted,’ for faith has not yet entered your hearts,” (Qur’an 49:14). Don’t give yourself names which you are not.

Look at the Qur’an. How did Allah (swt) describe the Prophet ﷺ? This is beautiful. Allah (swt) told the Prophet ﷺ “Say, “I am only a man like you […]”(Qur’an 18:110). Can you imagine that you are the Prophet ﷺ, and you know that you are the last Prophet ﷺ. You are sinless and Allah (swt) has forgiven everything that you have ever done before and after. You are the one who was given so many karamat (mercies) and mu’juzat (miracles) from Allah (swt). Imagine that you have to go to the people and say, “I’m a man like you.” You have to go to a bedouin who cannot read or write, who doesn’t know anything, and say, “I’m like you.” Imam Qurtubi explained that Allah (swt) tells the Prophet ﷺ in so many places in the Qur’an to say “I am a man like you” to teach us not to give ourselves big labels. We should not say, “I am a Sheikh! A scholar! The sea of knowledge!” Look at the man who went and urinated in the masjid. The Prophet ﷺ has to come to him and say, “I am a man like you.” Why did Allah (swt) say in Surat al-Jumu’ah, “It is He who has sent among the unlettered a Messenger from themselves […]” (Qur’an 62:2)? Imam Qurtubi explained that in these verses Allah (swt) wants to teach us to be humble. He wants to teach the Prophet ﷺ humility and teach us also indirectly. We shouldn’t give ourselves these big labels and big titles. Just be yourself. Be simple. Be a normal person.

One time a man came into Madinah and he found some people sitting on the ground. He wasn’t Muslim and he asked, “Where is Muhammed?” The Prophet Muhammed ﷺ answered, “I am Muhammed.” The man responded, “I bear witness that there is no God but Allah, and Muhammed is his Messenger.” Imagine, the Prophet ﷺ was sitting on the ground, and he could not be differentiated from others. Be careful of position.

Someone asked why do I have to put the dr title in front of my name for this blog. I don't know why. It must be my ego in play. Now I want to change it. I thought I wanted to put something like 'A Woman Like You' then I realized what about the male readers? hehehehe....

So I presented my dilemma and asked the Wise Man of the House for his opinion. He said...

"tak payah tukar, yang penting niat tu nak berlagak ke tak... (the problem is I'm quite sure there was some elements of arrogance when I chose to use this name 2 years ago)....tak pun tukar je jadi Fat Mama Mirabelle"---[sambil menghirup mi kari tak pandang keliling]

hahahahahahaha.....(itu ler laki aku yang baik budi, jangan korang tak tau..)

**Mama Mirabelle is a mommy elephant who likes to tell stories to her baby elephant in the series 'Mama Mirabelle Home Movies'.

Back to the main topic..I must admit that this is my hardest resolution ever as it does not have a clear method and it is not measurable (by humans). The deadline is of course my death. I wouldn't even know if I succeed, until many thousand years from now. Feel free to help me with this anytime. And I ask for your forgiveness, readers, if I ever hurt you in the past because of my arrogance.

So to start 2011, I think I will just use Mamaboyz. Of course this will have to change again if we were to be blessed with girl/s.

Welcome 2011. May Allah be with us in our every steps. And every step bring us closer to Him.

AlFatihah to a young fighter

2010-12-29T07:31:00.001Z

My mum just informed me that Dr Mas Afzal has returned to our Creator on the 18th Dec 2010. I'm deeply saddened by the news, I didn't know he was admitted with septicemia and lung infections on the 2nd Dec.

If you are wondering how special he was, according to his friends in Sheffield where he studied medicine, during his good health, that soft-spoken young man would brave the cold weather to walk up a steep road to pray Subuh in congregation every day. Only selected people can do that. And Subuh here in UK is not always at 6am everyday, it can be as early as 2 am. Indeed Allah loves him more.

Somehow he had the urge to write a last tribute to his mum. That was his last blogpost.

I'm not exactly sure why I have penned this thoughts down, but I just feel the strong urge to show my deepest appreciation to my mom. My guardian. The one person in life I know will never disappoint. The one person I know who will always provide me with that unconditional love, through the thick and thin. To everyone out there, love your mom and NEVER ever break their heart. Tell them, in your own way, that you love them and that you will never trade your mom with anything in this entire world.

Never failed to be touched by this farewell video to his friends....

I treasured a saying from his late grandmother,

When you feel poorest, give the most. When you feel the richest, give
even more. When you are at your happiest, pray and be thankful to Allah.
When you are at your angriest, you pray even more.

AlFatihah....

Mesir dalam kenangan

2010-12-28T09:17:00.001Z

Kami baru pulang dari melawat ibu bapa kami di Kaherah, Mesir. Memang sangat seronok! Semua keluarga Papaboyz ada kecuali seorang adik.

Kami melawat Kaherah, Alexandria, Taba', Dahab, Gunung Tursina dan Sharm El-Sheikh.

Saya jatuh cinta dengan unta comel. Di hadapan pintu pagar Universiti Al-Azhar saya berdoa. Di puncak Gunung Sinai kami menyaksikan matahari terbit. Di makam Saidina Hussein (ra) saya sayu mendengar rintihan beberapa orang perempuan yang bersyair berlagu2 di situ. Budak2 bertiga ini pula pertama kali berjumpa dengan pemukul lalat dan berkejaran cuba memburu lalat. Semua gembira dengan makanan halal yang ada di mana saja.

Semalam Ammar bertanya adakah kami akan ke Kaherah lagi esok :D. Adam pula membuat keputusan yang dia perlu pulang ke Malaysia secepat mungkin, katanya Sabtu depan. Baru memahami perasaan kehilangan kemeriahan saudara mara agaknya.

Saya nak tulis tapi terpaksa tunggu Papaboyz edit gambar dulu.

Koleksi fridge magnet

Hmmm....saya masih kagum terbayangkan padang pasir yang walaupun tak ada apa-apa tapi ia seperti tak perlukan apa-apa.

Pagi ini....

2010-12-09T09:40:00.000Z

Sudah lebih kurang 2 minggu kami berada di bawah paras beku. Salji yang turun minggu lepas masih bersisa di jalanan. Saya bangun pagi tadi dan lihat suhu -9 darjah Celsius. Bukan yang terendah. Beberapa hari lepas ia serendah -13.

Saya memang spesies tak tahan sejuk. Kalau Papaboyz boleh berkemeja T saja dalam rumah pada waktu begini, saya kena pakai 3 lapis.

Saya pasang heater. Tapi heater tak mahu menyala! Sejak semalam dia buat hal, tapi saya mengharapkan yang selepas ia 'berehat' ia akan berfungsi semula. Tapi tidak. Heater yang ada di ruang tamu memang sudah rosak. Beberapa kali kami adukan kepada pihak pengurusan apartment kami tapi jawapan mereka masih 'stok belum sampai'. Yang baru rosak ini ialah 'portable heater' kami yang kecil.

Saya rasa sedih. Kaki dan tangan saya semua mengelupas dan pecah-pecah. Saya rasa mungkin saya ada simptom 'chillblain' (err google sendiri yer) tapi saya tak mahu makan ubat, sebab taklah teruk sangat. Adakah saya mahu masuk semula ke bawah selimut tebal itu? Tapi saya tak mahu masuk ke bawah selimut itu kerana Rasulullah (saw) mendoakan rahmat untuk umatnya yang bangun awal pagi. Lagipun saya dah berjanji dengan Papaboyz dan Adam untuk menebar roti canai pagi ini.

Ya Allah, sejuknya! Bagaimanakah aku ingin memanaskan badanku yang sejuk ini, sudah berlapis pakaian yang ku pakai. Apakah Kau akan mendatangkan kehangatan di pagi dingin musim sejuk yang sedang dilanda tiupan Artik ini?

Saya melayar internet mencari2 inspirasi pagi. Entah macam mana saya sampai kepada seseorang yg sedang bercerita tentang Nabi Allah Zakaria (as). Ketika itu baginda melarikan diri ke dalam sebuah kebun ketika dikejar kaumnya yang ingin membunuhnya. Baginda menyembunyikan diri di dalam sebatang pokok, tetapi musuhnya mendapat tahu dan mereka membelah pokok itu. Nabi Zakaria (as) mengaduh kesakitan ketika kepalanya digergaji. Turunlah Jibril (as) lalu berkata, "Ya Nabi Allah, sekiranya engkau orang yang bersabar, janganlah engkau mengeluh".....

isk..isk..saya lupa rakyat Palestin menghadapi musim sejuk ini di bawah runtuhan bangunan sahaja. Saya juga sudah lupa kesejukan Ma Yan, gadis wilayah Ningzhia yang meredah lereng2 bersalji hanya kerana hendak ke sekolah. (nanti saya tuliskan review buku itu, The Diary of Ma Yan).

Saya mahu jadi orang yang sabar. Ia jenama ahli syurga. Anda semua tidak akan dengar saya mengeluh lagi.

A Letter to Adam

2010-11-25T17:27:00.000Z

Dear Adam,

Mama is writing you this letter, for the future you. Mama just want to tell you a story because surely if Mama don't write this now, none of us will remember.

Winter is approaching fast. And with winter, comes the usual hoohaah of Christmas here. You like to sing a few Christmas songs that you always hear in tv, school, everywhere. And one day Papa stopped you. Papa asked you not to sing Christmas songs anymore because we don't celebrate Christmas. We are not Christians. Allah is One, and He has no son, neither was He born. We didn't know whether you understand why we don't let you sing Christmas songs.

Then yesterday your teacher told Papa that while all your classmates were singing Christmas songs, you just stood there alone, refusing to join in.

When Mama asked you why you did not sing with your classmates, you said, with a straight face, "because we don't celebrate Christmas, we celebrate Eid! I don't know whether the Windy Winter Song is halal or not so I don't sing" hehe..where did you get the idea of a halal song Adam? Mama and Papa never used the term halal or haram for songs...

Mama is proud of you Adam. You obeyed Papa even when Papa was not there. You were not afraid even when you found you were alone in your decision. And you chose to leave it when you were not sure. You are a wise 5-year old! Mama can't thank Allah enough for having you.

Adam, when you are older, should you find life is harsh for you, and if you feel that you are not strong enough, remember this story. This is you at the very core. Remember that Mama's prayers will always be with you all your life, and Allah is always near.

Love, hugs and kisses..
Mama.

Seven Reasons to Perform Hajj While Young

2010-11-11T11:23:00.000Z

Ayah saya menunaikan haji ketika berumur 25 tahun. Ketika itu dia belum berkahwin, belum ada apa2 harta, tetapi dia telah mendahulukan seruan yang ini. Semua adik beradik saya sudah sampai ke Tanah Suci, termasuk adik bongsu saya yang ibu bapa saya bawa ketika mengerjakan umrah sewaktu umurnya kurang 3 tahun. Dalam kami adik beradik rasanya langkah saya yang paling panjang sekali tapi hanya sayalah yang belum pernah menjejak kaki ke sana. Dalam mimpi pun tak pernah :(.

Artikel ini diambil dari sini

Seven Reasons to Perform Hajj While Young
(by Ibn Shaima)
“The feet of man will not slip on the Day of Resurrection until he is asked of five things: of his life as to how he spent it, his youth as to how he used it, his wealth as to where he got it and how he spent it, and of his knowledge as to what he did with it.” (Tirmithi)

“That they may witness benefits for themselves…” (Qur’an, 22:28)

From a young age, many of us dream of going to Hajj – to see the Ka`bah in person, the Station of Ibrahim, drink ZamZam, perform tawaaf (circling the Ka`bah), wear the white garments of Hajj, and be with brothers and sisters from around the world in the greatest international gathering in the history of humanity. It is a rare opportunity for forgiveness, for change, for turning to the Creator, and for Paradise, insha’Allah (God willing).

But it can sometimes feel out of reach and far away. This is especially the case with the youth.

But as a person moves on in life, high school and university finish. There may be money left over, or loans that finally get paid off, and a person is in a position to perform Hajj. At the same time, there are many options in life. It could be marriage, travel or vacation – one has to choose. For the young, with all of life’s possibilities tugging at the heart, here are a few reasons to put one’s heart, efforts, and resources into making that life-long dream a reality: the journey of Hajj.

1. If the Door is Open, It May Never Open Again

The dream has finally had its means made easy – will you fulfill it? Life is so short on earth; we never know if this opportunity will come again. In fact, Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) tells us how short life on earth is: “You stayed not but a little – if only you had known,” (Qur’an, 23:114). If the door for performing Hajj is finally open, a person should jump at the chance to perform it.

Ibn `Umar, radi allahu `anhu (may Allah be pleased with him), said, “When evening comes, do not expect (to live till) morning, and when morning comes, do not expect (to live till) evening. Take from your health (a preparation) for your illness, and from your life for your death.” (Bukhari)

2. Hasten Toward Hajj

“Expedite the performance of Hajj. For nobody knows what may obstruct one.” (Ibn Majah, Ahmad)

Along with not knowing what may obstruct one if one does not take the open opportunity to perform Hajj, the Prophet ﷺ told us to expedite the performance of Hajj. We are told to get it done, not put it on the backburner or be lax concerning its performance, or to put other things as a priority above it. It is a duty to be fulfilled for Allah, a pillar of Islam. For someone who has had the means to perform Hajj for some time and does not go, the Prophet ﷺ informed us of the state of loss of such a person: “Allah said: ‘Any of My slaves who is healthy and are of the means for five years, and did not visit My house, he is mahroom.“ (Ibn Hibban & Musnad Abu Ya’laa: 3703:1031) The direct translation of mahroom is “deprive,” meaning a person who is able to go to Hajj and does not, has deprived themselves of something good and of benefits that cannot be imagined that will be regretted on the Day of Judgment.

3. Hajj Decreases Poverty

The Prophet ﷺ said, “Keep on doing Hajj and Umrah, because they both eliminate poverty and sins just like a furnace eliminates the dirty impurities of iron, gold and silver. And an accepted Hajj has no reward less than Paradise!” (Tirmithi, Nisaa’i, Ahmad) It is important that we do not let our worries stop us from going, if we have the means. If we are concerned for our sustenance, one should perform Hajj with the expectation of improving its state, however Allah (swt) wills for that to happen.

4. The Supplication

One of the most prominent features of Hajj is supplication to Allah (swt). One does it so much on Hajj. But what is more, the supplication of Hajj is answered insha’Allah; and the best supplication is that of Arafah during Hajj.

“The warrior in the path of Allah, the one performing Hajj and the one performing Umrah are the delegations of Allah. If they call on Allah they are answered and if they ask Him for anything it is given to them.” (Ibn Maajah, Ibn Hibban)

“The best supplication is the supplication on the day of Arafah [...]“ (Tirmithi, Malik)

“There is no other day when Allah sets free more slaves from the Fire than the day of Arafah, for that day He comes nearer to them and says proudly to the angels: What do these people seek?” (Muslim)

Now for the youth looking to improve their lives – to get that nice job, get into that school, improve their relationship with Allah and draw near to Him, marry that wonderful man or woman, have that a family member come to Islam or get back on the straight path, Hajj is the place to be. Hajj is where it’s at. Think of having supplicated during Hajj and living life from now on benefitting from those supplications insha’Allah.

5. The Release from Sin

Not only is Hajj a priceless opportunity for supplication, it is a chance to wipe clean the slate of one’s mistakes and shortcomings of the past. “One who comes to this House for Hajj and avoids all lewdness and sins, he returns as he was on the day his mother gave birth to him.” (Bukhari & Muslim) Imagine having all of one’s mistakes wiped away, and having a clean and healthy conscience, mind and heart and a purified soul insha’Allah. Imagine experiencing this rebirth of sorts from a young age. It is a dream; it is priceless. But by Allah’s Mercy and Compassion, it is insha’Allah within reach for those who make Hajj. Hajj is a great way of for young person to get a head start in cleaning up the shortcomings and mistakes of the past, and thereafter look towards a much brighter future insha’Allah. Hajj is also a chance for Paradise: “An `umrah to another `umrah expiates what is in between them, and the accepted Hajj receives nothing except Paradise.” (Bukhari & Muslim) `Umrah is a like Hajj except it is shorter and can be performed at any time of the year.

6. Utilize Your Youth

Not only is Hajj a chance to be reborn in terms of one’s past mistakes and shortcomings in life, it is also a chance for the youth to take advantage of the fresh health they are often given by Allah (swt), the Most Generous.“There are two blessings which many people do not make the most of and thus lose out: good health and free time.” (Bukhari ) Take advantage of this great blessing that is guaranteed for no one. Hajj is not only a spiritual, emotional, and intellectual experience, but also a very physical one. No matter how young or in-shape you are, you will stand to benefit from every last bit of youthful energy and physical health Allah (swt) has blessed you with during Hajj.

7. Experience the World

As a young person, valuable life lessons taken from an early age are precious and can leave a lasting impression. One of the greatest life lessons anyone can learn and experience most vividly on Hajj is that human beings are equal to each other. Equal, that is, except in terms of taqwa, or God consciousness and reverence. On Hajj this is not an ideal of the mind or on the tongue, but is something put into practice, witnessed and experienced. During the Hajj itself, in part of what is known as the Farewell Sermon, the Prophet ﷺ said, “All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab, nor a non-Arab any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a back nor a black any superiority over a white, except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood.” (Excerpt from Khutbatul Wada’, amongst collections of Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmithi, Ahmad)

From virtually every nook and corner of the Earth, men and women gather together in unity and submission to God during Hajj. Men all wear the same simple, white cloth garments; men and women perform the same acts of worship; young and old and even children participate; the rich and the poor mix. Everyone is equal before God and their piety is ultimately only known to Him, and He is their final Judge. Going through such an experience on a large scale with millions of people, insha’Allah, will open up the mind, heart, and soul to what it really means to be a human being amongst everyone on earth, much less what it truly means to be a Muslim in peaceful surrender to God.

Secebis Malaysia di Tanah Inggeris

2010-11-04T06:43:00.000Z

Sudah lama saya hendak tulis tentang ini. Bulan Jun lepas kami telah melakukan kembara Jalan-jalan UK Seribu Batu. Kami berjalan2 dengan kereta tua kami yang banyak berjasa (jenama Toyota) dan selama 9 hari kami melawat selatan UK iaitu Cardiff, Bournemouth, Torquay, Cornwall dan Land's End (tanah paling hujung di kepulauan UK ini). Ohh jangan terperanjat, kami bukannya banyak duit. Semua ini kami pergi dengan bajet yang sangat2 kecil. Hendak berjalan seribu daya, tak perlu seribu duit :)

Ok lah, saya tak akan menceritakan semua. Buat masa ini saya mahu menceritakan satu tempat istimewa yang kami lawati iaitu The Eden Project, yang terletak berdekatan St Austell, Cornwall. Eden Project ialah satu taman ekosistem yang tujuan utamanya ialah untuk menyampaikan maklumat kepada pelawat tentang alam sekitar dan keadaan bumi yang kini mengalami pelbagai masalah akibat aktiviti kita sendiri.

Dalam taman itu ada 'world's largest green house'. Ia dipanggil biome. Ada 2 biomes, satu iklim tropika dan satu iklim meditteranean.

Biomes (giant greenhouse)

Statistik di pintu masuk- jika penduduk dunia dinisbahkan kepada 100 orang....(yang terlindung tu ialah 60 would be Asian)

13 would have no access to drinking water and 10 would die from tobacco related illness

Ia sangat besar. Sampaikan ada shuttle bus disediakan dari tempat letak kereta ke pintu masuk taman.

Sebaik sahaja kami menjejak kaki ke dalam biomes iklim tropika, bahang panas terus terasa. Sesuatu yang sebati dalam diri tetapi telah lama tersimpan dalam kotak memori datang menyelubungi. Rasa seperti kembali ke Malaysia! Sememangnya model untuk iklim tropika ini diambil dari Malaysia, Congo dan Brazil.

Poster di pintu masuk biome iklim Tropika

Kawasan2 beriklim tropika

Semua tumbuh2an di sini diambil dari kawasan tropika. Kemudian mereka juga mendirikan pondok kebun siap dengan motor kapcai (di sini tiada motor kapcai) dan tempayan semua ada. Pokok2 Malaysia semua mereka tanam, nak je saya patahkan daun kesum, serai, pandan semua (tapi kitorang mana ada tanah nak tanam :P)

Bunga raya kat England, mestilah kena amik gambar

Haaa ni macam kat kebun pisang Kg Jiboi

Merentas jambatan Sg Kg Jiboi

Pondok kebun yang diambil modelnya dari Sabah, yang 2 orang tu 'Melayu celup' yang offer satu air pelik (nanas + buah apa entah) kepada pengunjung

perasan tak pondok kebun pun ada satelite dish...truly malaysian hahaaha

dalam tu ada kipas angin, kelambu dan kerusi goyang rotan-- bila tengok rasa sedih pun ada :(

ni pokok apa? macam daun kari

motor kapcai

air terjun pun ada

barangan tradisional dipamerkan

Sebenarnya mereka ambil Malaysia sebab banyak pembalakan haram dan kita ada masalah penggunaan tanah untuk tanaman soya yang merosakkan kualiti tanah, ini dilakukan oleh penduduk pedalaman Sabah. Setelah diberi peluang menikmati keindahan iklim tropika, kami dipersembahkan pula dengan mesej2 dan masalah ekosistem yang Malaysia sedang alami.

lost to what? pembalakan haram :(

hehe satu2nya papan tanda yg mereka tiru

pondok Penan

"if we lose the battle against deforestation, we lose the battle against climate change"

Untuk Congo dan Brazil pula, mereka tumpukan kepada industri kopi, gula, pisang dan koko.

stesen timbang kopi

kurun ke 14 gula adalah barangan mewah

kisah pisang 'fairtrade'

info 'fairtrade bananas'

pondok buluh kebun pisang

biofuel juga tak terlepas dari 'dosa' kepada alam sekitar--kreatif, mesej diletak pada tong, i like!

Biome kedua ialah iklim Meditteranean. Ia terletak bersebelahan saja dengan biome Tropika. Hanya dipisahkan oleh sebuah food court. Memang pengalaman menarik keluar dari iklim tropika terus ke iklim Meditteranean :). Teringat pulak belajar geografi masa SPM dulu.

Iklim Meditteranean biasalah, banyak pokok2 buah2an citrus, pokok zaitun, anggur etc. Pokok2 mereka tak rimbun dan tak bertindih2 macam iklim tropika.

pokok2nya jarang2 saja dan tak berapa tinggi

pokok tembakau

tembakau juga menyumbang kepada 'deforestation'

info minyak zaitun

Kitan Al-Felaba oleh Ibn al Awwam

puisi terselit di tengah rimbunan

Sebelum ini saya selalu juga membaca mengenai ancaman2 kepada alam sekitar, carbon footprints, fairtrade industry etc tetapi setelah pergi ke Eden Project ini barulah seperti mendapat gambaran keseluruhan (big picture) apa yang environmentalist asyik laung-laungkan. Syabas kepada mereka kerana usaha mereka melobi supaya manusia mendengar rintihan Bumi berjaya ke tahap ini. Ia memang satu inconvenient truth.

Sebelum keluar ada kedai mereka yang agak besar menjual pelbagai barangan yang dilabel 'green' dan 'fairtrade' dari makanan hinggalah baju2 dan beg2. Seperti biasa saya pergi tengok rak buku mereka, tangkap gambar tajuk buku2 dan pergi reserve di perpustakaan awam.

buku2 berkaitan alam sekitar


Sekarang saya sedang membaca buku ini- 'Confessions of an eco sinner'

Malam itu pulang ke hotel saya tidur bermimpikan Malaysia.

From My Sisters' Lips

2010-10-27T00:09:00.000+01:00

Ini memoir kolektif sekumpulan wanita Muslimah UK. Kebanyakan mereka adalah saudara baru dan ini kisah mereka melawan arus kehidupan silam mereka, dan juga masyarakat sekeliling. Yang menarik adalah kebanyakan mereka adalah niqabi (niqabi ialah wanita yang berpurdah). Termasuk penulis memoir ini, Naima Robert. Beliau adalah seorang African British yang ayahnya seorang atheis dan ibu beragama tradisi Zulu.

Mereka menceritakan pengalaman mengenali Islam. Kebanyakan cerita adalah hidayah datang dari sumber yang tidak disangka2. Bagaimana mereka merasakan yang mereka memang tidak dapat melarikan diri dari membuat penyerahan diri kepada Allah swt dan kembali ke fitrah mereka. Pengalaman mereka pertama kali mengucapkan syahadah, sesuatu yang kita takkan dapat rasai kerana kita dilahirkan dalam keluarga Muslim. Begitu juga pengalaman pertama kali mengenakan hijab.

Bagi penulis, penerimaan Islam secara total (dari ketauhidan hinggalah ibadah dan pemakaian) berlaku secara beransur2. Ia berkadar langsung dgn tahap ilmu. Pada permulaan memang banyak prinsip Islam yang ditentangnya. Ketika itu kata hatinya ialah cukuplah saja hanya mengakui keesaan Allah dan kerasulan Nabi Muhammad (saw), maka aku orang Islam. Tetapi orang yang rajin mencari tentu tak akan disia-siakan Allah. Semakin dalam dia belajar, semakin terbuka hatinya.

Satu perkara yang membuatkan beliau yakin dgn ilmu Islam ialah jatidiri ilmuwan Islam merekod kesahihan kata2 Rasulullah saw, atau lebih dikenali dengan Ulum Al Hadith (Science of Hadith). Ia cabang ilmu yg tiada dalam agama lain.Ia menggambarkan kematangan ilmuwan Islam zaman lampau. Sampai 2 mukasurat dia menceritakan kekaguman dia dan rakan2 saudara baru lain dengan Sains Hadith ini.

Selepas membaca kekagumannya, saya mula berfikir, ilmu sains yg kita ada sekarang, adakah kita mengambil kira siapa atau bagaimana sifat perawinya? Tidak, kan? Bagaimana kita benar2 tahu itu kata2 Hippocrates? Adakah kita mengambil kira seorang saintis yg melakukan kajian itu bukan seorang penipu, tiada masalah kesihatan berkaitan otak, tidak mengalami kenyanyukan? Alhamdulillah kebelakangan ini setiap researcher dikehendaki mengisytihar 'conflict of interest' dan keterlibatan penaja2 dalam kajiannya, sekurang2nya ada usaha untuk menilai kejujuran perawi ilmu itu. Malah apa2 praktis perubatan sekarang adalah bersandarkan kepada 'graded evidence' contohnya kalau Gred A adalah berdasarkan trial klinikal besar2an (randomized clinical trial). Sistem ini samalah seperti sistem gred sesuatu hadith samada ia sahih, hasan, lemah atau palsu.

(Sebenarnya saya malu sendiri sebab sebelum ini tak pernah pun terkagum dengan klasifikasi hadith2, hanya tahu hadith ada peringkat2nya tapi tak pernah tahu yang betapa susah-payah-jerihnya mereka cuba membersihkan cabang ilmu ini dari pencemaran fakta dengan dongeng).

Bukan mudah seorang saudara baru untuk belajar mencintai Rasulullah saw. Ia konsep baru untuk mereka, berbanding kita yg telah diperkenalkan dengan baginda sejak kita kecil. Bukan mudah juga untuk meninggalkan pakaian lama dan mengubah seluruh 'wardrobe' mereka. Atau meninggalkan kebiasaan berparti. Tetapi dengan bertambahnya ilmu dan pemahaman, menjalani kehidupan sebagai muslimah bukanlah sesuatui yg terlalu sukar atau mustahil. Ini saya sertakan perasaan penulis ketika membuat keputusan untuk berpurdah (lebih kurang setahun selepas dia memeluk Islam).

"Wearing the niqab, choosing to cover in that way, seemed the least I could do to thank my Lord, to show my gratitude, to enact my submission. I didn't have time to waste on petty concerns- I had been given this chance to make something better, and I decided to take it. And, at that moment, other people's opinions, their hang-ups and point of view, faded into the background; my eyes were fixed on the pleasure of Allah."

Yang menarik ialah penulis ketika itu bekerja sebagai penyambut tetamu di sebuah kolej di London, tetapi majikan2nya yang bukan pun beragama Islam tidak kisah dia bertutup litup seperti itu. (Aahhh Mr Sarkozy, this is something that the French should learn from the British. An independent person should be given his/her rights to dress however he/she likes.)

Satu perkara yang ditulis ialah tentang tahap ilmu Islam dalam sesebuah masyarakat Islam. Saya bersetuju dengan pendapat penulis yang jika satu masyarakat Islam itu mempunyai tahap ilmu Islam yang rendah, yang akan paling merana ialah wanitanya. Ketika itu wanita Islam akan ditindas, tidak diberi hak sepatutnya, disunat dengan kejam (female genital mutilation- satu tradisi masyarakat Islam Afrika), menunggu kes cerai selesai bertahun2 (biasa dengar?), dijadikan simbol sex dan kecantikan (IFF konon). Sedangkan wanita di zaman Rasulullah saw menerima ajaran terus dari baginda, bersoal-jawab dengan baginda, dijadikan sumber rujukan etc.

Jika anda mempunyai kawan2 yg berminat dgn Islam, tetapi anda tidak pandai / malu2 untuk berkomunikasi dengannya, saya fikir buku ini hadiah yang sesuai untuknya. Sesuai juga untuk Muslim yang masih selesa di takuk lama.

Kisah Ambulans

2010-10-24T15:33:00.002+01:00

Semalam saya menonton siri perubatan popular 'House' iaitu bagi yang tidak tahu, adalah kisah seorang pakar diagnostik yang bermulut celupar dan ketagih ubat tahan sakit. Saya terperanjat kerana di dalam ambulans dalam cerita itu, ada tersedia IV Streptokinase, iaitu ubat pencair darah yang sgt berkesan sebagai 'clot buster' atau pemecah darah beku. Sedangkan di Malaysia ubat ini hanya boleh diguna di hospital pakar sahaja, hospital daerah pun tak ada ubat ini. Adakah betul Amerika secanggih itu, hingga Streptokinase pun ada dalam ambulans?

Baru2 ini pun Tun M ada menulis tentang pengalamannya mendapat khidmat ambulans dan paramedik di Melbourne. Bunyinya seperti mereka agak professional.

Memang paramedik Malaysia banyak kelemahan. Pertama, mereka takut memulakan rawatan (berdasarkan pengalaman saya sahaja). Kedua, komunikasi dengan kumpulan yang akan menerima di unit kecemasan juga hampir tiada. Sedangkan mortaliti boleh banyak dikurangkan kalau org2 yang pertama tiba ini lebih berani.

Saya beri contoh satu pengalaman saya. Saya oncall malam itu. Sebuah ambulans dengan 2 paramedik keluar ke kawasan kemalangan berdekatan. Kemudian salah seorang menelefon kawannya yg tinggal bertugas dengan saya di unit kecemasan. Kawannya beritahu saya, "dr, diorang suruh siap untuk resus (resuscitation), ada 2"

Maksudnya kedua2 mangsa adalah kategori kritikal. Tapi paramedik tu bukannya nak cakap terus dgn saya, (sedangkan saya bukannya garang sangat). Ada benda yang saya nak tanya. Daripada 2 mangsa seorang berjaya stabil dan dihantar ke hospital besar. Seorang lagi menemui ajal di zon resusitasi kami. Malam itu saya naik angin sebab ada beberapa perkara yang boleh paramedik2 itu buat tapi mereka tak buat (yang berkemungkinan mengubah outcome). Mereka kata "takkan dr expect kitorang nak gitu gini kat tgh jalan tu, ramai orang tgh kerumun, kitorang scoop and run je lah" Sebenarnya saya faham situasi mereka. Tapi sekiranya mereka bekerja di Paris ketika Lady D menemui kemalangan di dalam terowong itu, mereka tentu akan disoalsiasat habis2an (tapi dalam kes Lady D paramedik yang menstabilkan dia telah dipuji).

Sebenarnya paramedik di Malaysia banyak latihan. Mereka berkursus bersama2 dengan doktor2, terutama untuk pengendalian trauma. Sijil yang mereka dapat pun sama dengan doktor, kecuali passing marks saja yang berbeza. Pernah juga mereka dapat markah lebih dari doktor yang berkursus sama. Tapi mereka memang belum lagi berani sebagai first responder. Mungkin mereka perlu dihantar bekerja di luar negara baru keberanian mereka akan timbul.

Ammar ke sekolah

2010-10-23T07:57:00.002+01:00

Sudah lebih kurang 6 minggu Ammar sekolah. Di sini sekolah bermula pada umur 3 tahun. Tahun pertama ialah nursery, atau playschool.

Ammar sangat gembira ke sekolah. Nak menyiapkan dia ke sekolah pun senang. Kalau Adam yang saya letih bebelkan setiap pagi untuk makan, mandi, siap, tapi bagi Ammar sangat senang. Dia bangun seawal 6 pagi, minum susu botolnya dan terus cergas bermain, minta dimandikan dan makan sarapan. Pukul 7.30 baru abangnya bangun.

posing dulu

Adam and Ammar

bye bye to Abid

sampai di sekolah

Adam: be a good boy Amai....

main snake and ladder dulu sebelum masuk kelas

dengan Hanie

3 sekawan budak Melayu- Rizqi, Hanie, Ammar

main picture puzzle

Abid menyibuk sekejap

I can cook!

eloklah tu Amai, masuk periuk dalam microwave..

this is red pepper (Abid enter frame lagi)

main pasir pulak

Hakikatnya nama saja sekolah, tapi ia sebenarnya ia adalah a place of structured play. Ada kawan2, ada dewasa yg mengawasi, ada sesi mendengar cerita, menyanyi bersama, makan bersama. Walau banyak macam mana pun saya boleh mengajarnya di rumah, tapi ada beberapa perkara yg hanya dia akan dapat di sekolah. Antaranya kemahiran bersosial, main pasir (sah-sahla takkan dapat main kat rumah), input dari pelbagai cikgu, belajar berfungsi di bawah autoriti lain etc etc. Sebelum dia ke sekolah kami tak tahu pun yang dia agak berani menonjolkan diri, ini sangat berbeza dengan Adam. Dia juga telah memukul budak lain (!) pada minggu kedua sampai papanya dipanggil oleh cikgu...hehe (ya ampun ye kalau budak itu Rizqi atau Hanie).

Ada satu lagi peristiwa yang memberi kami gambaran personalitinya yang sangat berbeza dengan Adam. Jika dulu Adam selalu mengadu yang dia tak pernah dapat naik basikal di nursery-nya, setiap kali mesti ada budak yang dah dapat dulu basikal itu. Tapi minggu lepas Ammar bercerita dengan saya..

Mama : What did u do at school today Ammar?
Ammar: I play the bicycle..
Mama : Did u get to the bicycle first? (alamak, dah takut dah adakah dia guna kekerasan utk mencapai matlamatnya?)
Ammar: No, a boy was playing it. I said to the boy- Get off the bicycle! (aarrgghhh! tension mama dengar)
Mama: That's not good, you must say please, can I have my turn...
Ammar: But I carry Rizqi at the back, then I carry Hanie at the back...I pedal, Rizqi and Hanie dont pedal because pedal only at the front...

OK Ammar....niat dah baik, tapi matlamat tak menghalalkan cara...

Satu hari dia tiba2 menangis di sekolah. Cikgunya pun tak tahu kenapa. Bila di rumah saya tanyakan dia. Dia jawab "because i cannot find you Mama" :( sedihh.. kemudian saya tanya apa dia buat selepas itu. Dia kata "I go to the kitchen and cook pizza like you.." Ammar..Ammar... memang luaran dia ganas tapi sentimental jugak... (ehh macam saya ke? :P)

Alhamdullillah

2010-10-18T06:21:00.009+01:00

Hari ini ulang tahun kelahiran suami saya yang ke 30. Semoga seluruh hidupnya dalam kasih sayang Allah.

(agak disaster jugak kek kali ini :D- tangan tak berseni tapi nak buat jugak)

Lagu ini lebih sesuai dari lagu selamat hari jadi. Ia doa saya setiap hari.

Alhamdulillah (Opick featuring Amanda)

Bersujud kepada Allah
Bersyukur Kepada Allah
Setiap nafasmu seluruh hidupmu
Semoga diberkahi Allah

Bersabar taat pada Allah
Menjaga keikhlasan-Nya
Semoga dirimu semoga langkahmu
Diiringi oleh rahmat-Nya

Setiap nafasmu seluruh hidupmu
Semoga diberkahi Allah

Alhamdulillah wasyukurillah
Bersyukur pada Mu ya Allah
Kau jadikan kami saudara
Indah dalam kebersamaan
(Hilanglah sebuah perbedaan)

Alek Wek's Memoir

2010-10-14T12:07:00.000+01:00

Wanted to write so many things but everything ended up in drafts. But I will post this surely. This is a book I read before Ramadhan. It is the memoir of Alek Wek, a supermodel from Sudan.

I picked up this book from the library, at that time they were hosting a 'Refugee Week', and they featured this book on the front desk, so I quickly grabbed it. Alek Wek was a refugee from Sudan and this book tells her story camping in the African bushes to escape the civil war to the glamorous runaways of supermodels.

When I picked this book I was thinking, weii aku lagi cantiklah, apasal kau jadik model? :P (no need translation). Apart from that she is much taller and slimmer.. hehehe I suppose she fits better in those beautiful dresses.

She and her family left their modest town home for safety from rebels and militants to remote villages of Sudan. There they found tribes who lived centuries away from us. People who still hunt and cook using woods and live in houses made of cow dungs. Boys who washed theirs heads with cow's urine to treat lice infestation. During sleepless nights her mother would teach her children listening to the various sounds of the African jungle and her father showed them the constellations of the stars. No tv, books etc, no electricity or clear water.

Boy treating his head lice with cow's urine

They made a miraculous escape to London and obtained refugee status. There she was discovered by a modeling agency and later made her way through to New York. Now she spends her night in New York, the next day dinner in London and the weekend in Milan. Her involvement with the modeling world was a turning point to the industry that has always label beauty as fair, blond hair and blue eyes.

From a refugee to a supermodel, how easily and quickly a person can be easily spoiled, this she admitted herself.

The funny thing is, the fashion designers told her that she was fat. She has always been hungry and was close to being malnourished and they told her she was fat. What a weird world.

Update

2010-10-02T08:34:00.000+01:00

Assalamualaikum semua :)

Saya semakin jarang menulis. Sebenarnya banyak je dalam kepala saya tunggu untuk dimuntahkan ke dalam 'drain' ni, tapi tak zahir pula jadi post dalam blog ini. Saya tengok bulan September ada satu je post. Siapa2 yang rindu saya minta maaf yer hehehe...

Sebenarnya saya dah mula kerja semula. Tapi part time saja. Saya ditawarkan semula bekerja di sebuah klinik tempat saya bekerja sepenuh masa pada tahun 2008 dulu. Tapi di sini saya bukan bekerja sebagai doktor kerana saya tak ada lesen untuk practice di UK. Bayaran untuk mendapatkan lesen adalah mahal dan prosedurnya sangat leceh, membabitkan peperiksaan juga. (OK alasan). Tapi alasan sebenar ialah tentunya anak2 saya kan. Siapa pulak nak jaga diorang kalau saya sibuk bekerja?

Saya bekerja membuat ringkasan sejarah pesakit. Di sini sistem rekod pesakit mereka ada dalam bentuk fizikal (kertas dan fail2) dan maya (online). Jadi kerja saya ialah untuk setiap pesakit baru di klinik tersebut (ia klinik kerajaan) saya perlu membaca seluruh fail mereka kemudian sejarah hidup mereka diringkaskan ke sistem online. Ini bertujuan supaya apabila mereka datang berjumpa doktor2 disini doktor2 itu tak perlulah pening kepala menyemak fail mereka, hanya klik pada sejarah mereka sahaja. Dari sejarah keluarga, berapa kali masuk hospital, berapa kali cuba berhenti merokok, berapa kali cuba bunuh diri, semua ada di hujung jari.

Ia memang sesuatu yang saya impikan untuk sistem kesihatan Malaysia.

Saya dipanggil semula bekerja kerana mereka mengalami 'backlog' yang serius dalam sistem rekod mereka. Banyak timbunan fail tidak diringkaskan ke online.

Saya hanya bekerja beberapa jam seminggu. Saya katakan saya hanya boleh bekerja ketika waktu budak sekolah. Mereka setuju. Bilakah ibu2 di Malaysia akan dibenarkan hanya bekerja semasa budak ke sekolah? :) Untungnya anak2 di sini.

Nanti saya ceritakan lagi. Episod saya bekerja di klinik ini sebenarnya banyak mengajar saya. Bukan saja tentang sistem kesihatan mereka yang sangat komprehensif. Tetapi juga tentang hidup ini. Kalau saya tidak bekerja di sini tentunya tahap pemikiran saya masih di takuk lama. Mungkin saya akan ceritakan tentang staf2 disini yang pelbagai ragam, tak pernah saya jumpa di Malaysia. Dan Allah memang Maha Kuasa. Di bumi Kristian yang liberal ini, Dia tempatkan saya bekerja di sebuah klinik yang semua stafnya adalah perempuan, dan seorang daripadanya beragama Islam. Semasa saya kerja sepenuh masa di sini dulu tiada masalah untuk saya bersembahyang dan sebagainya. Mereka juga menghormati kami yang hanya makan makanan halal. Apabila mereka belikan saya biskut, mereka akan pastikan ia berlabel 'suitable for vegetarian'.

Klinik tempat saya bekerja

Kemudian saya tengok gambar2 yang banyak tidak difailkan dari kamera saya. Ohh, banyak sebenarnya yang saya belum tulis. Lawatan kami ke The Eden Project yang menyebabkan saya tidur bermimpikan Malaysia pun belum saya tulis. Kemudian memoir2 terbaru yang saya baca juga saya belum tulis 'review'nya.

Betul lah masa itu aset terpenting seorang manusia, kerana apabila ia pergi tak dapat diganti lagi. Masa kita lapang, masa kita sihat, masa kita kaya, masa kita muda. Masa kita hidup. Kata2 hikmah manusia bijak pandai yang lain tentu tidak dapat menandingi nasihat Rasulullah saw yg paling berharga ini.

OK jaga diri semua!

Ramadhan dan Syawal di Manchester

2010-09-17T12:46:00.001+01:00

Tidak pernah saya menulis tentang Ramadhan dan Syawal selama di sini. Tahun ini mesti tulis sedikit kerana insyaAllah tahun depan kami beraya di tanah air.

Ramadhan kali ini jatuh pada musim panas. Jadi subuh masuk seawal pukul 3 pagi dan Maghrib bermula selewat 8.45 malam. Tidaklah lapar atau dahaga sangat tetapi penatnya memang sangat terasa.

Tekak Papaboyz pula asyik nak makan kuih Melayu. Jadi tiba2 saya terpaksa memandaikan diri memasak kuih muih Melayu yang dulu saya anggap orang2 terpilih saja layak membuatnya hehe...tengok2 senang saja rupa2nya.

Keria versi cekodok (tak payah uli dan bentuk)--thanks KNV! sgt gembira bila dapat resipi mudah :)

Love lopes... ni lagi sedap dari lopes biasa nih hehe

Kuih ketayap pucat...tapi kalau tutup mata rasa dia sama je macam yg jual kat kedai

Apam balik- tiada dalam gambar. (nak jugak masuk list tu)

Ada juga bazaar Ramadhan disini. Dari sate, nasi kerabu, murtabak, laksam sampailah ke jubah dan tudung juga ada dijual.

Ke bazaar ramadhan bersama jiran sebelah rumah, Azman dan keluarga (Melayu Brunei)

Murtabak dan nasi minyak kot

Tudung2 dan buku / CD Islamik untuk kanak2 (nak beli ini online shopnya-MyFirstep)

Jubah dan kuih raya

Jadi apa kitorang beli? Sate, murtabak dan laksa. Roti jala jiran sedekah.

Setahun sekali

Helwa Manchester (persatuan hal ehwal wanita Manchester) pula menerbitkan 2 buah buku resipi untuk membantu suri2 rumah mempelbagaikan juadah di rumah. Bagus juga sebab resipi2 semua yg senang2.

Volume 1 and 2

Sumbangan resipi adalah dari warga Helwa sendiri. Saya tergelak sorang2 bila baca resipi puding yg ditulis oleh seorang ahli kimia..

....supaya campuran bahan-bahan di atas sebati (homogen)

Pada 1 syawal pula kami pergi solat sunat Aidilfitri di dewan sebuah sekolah yang disewa untuk acara ini. Ramai yang datang. Saya letakkan budak2 di tepi, beri mereka cereal dan dapatlah saya sembahyang juga (walaupun tak berapa khusyu' sebab saya terperasan Ammar ada tanda2 nak memukul budak lain). Selesai sembahyang saya tengok ramai pula budak sedang duduk bersama makan cereal. Nasib baik mereka tahu berkongsi.

Sebelum sembahyang sunat Aidilfitri

Makan dgn kawan2

Abid pun nak jugak

Selesai solat raya kami berkunjung ke beberapa rumah terbuka kawan2. Rajinnya mereka memasak. Kuih raya pun banyak. Rumah kami saja yang tak ada kuih raya.

Budak2 makan kuih raya

Laksa johor dan soto johor di rumah orang johor

Mihun sup, ketupat rendang semua ada

Bertandang ke rumah Syah dan Baiti yg baru pindah rumah.

Asyik gambar makanan kat rumah orang lain je, rumah sendiri macam mana? Lupa nak ambil gambar hidangan2 vadevass saya tu... gambar kek je yang ada tangkap..

Butter cake with white choc-cheese cream (kitorang je baham, tetamu2 raya tak sempat :P)

Kami tak buat rumah terbuka. Tapi sesiapa nak datang cakap saja ye. Bagi notis awal 3 jam boleh la saya siapkan apa2 yang patut dengan skill saya yang terhad ni. Jangan risau bahan2 semua ada :D

Selamat hari raya!

(Apa kes Ramadhan dan Syawal cerita pasal makan je? Mana cerita tarawikh, tadarus, qiamullail, zakat, sedekah, maaf bermaafan etc :P...aduhh maaflah tak mampu utk tulis reflection sehebat tempias Ramadhan itu sendiri. Cukuplah beringat beberapa kejadian Ramadhan tahun ini- bencana air bah di Pakistan, si Paderi Bodoh yang nak bakar Quran, iklan berunsur syirik TV3, bunuh, bakar dan tabur Jutawan Malaysia).

Oh ya..ada satu perjalanan Ramadhan yang saya nak kongsi bersama. Ia catatan Aman Ali dan Basam Tariq, 2 jejaka Muslim Amerika yang mengembara ke 30 negeri di Amerika dalam masa 30 hari Ramadhan untuk mengunjungi 30 masjid2 terpilih di Amerika. Membaca kembara mereka mengingatkan saya yang Islam itu seluas-luasnya tetapi ia masih ummah yang satu. Terima kasih Pakcik Hasan Almanar yang beri link :)

Eating for your health

2010-08-23T10:45:00.003+01:00

I have been following a Malaysian cardiologist's blog who religiously write about current updates in cardiology. I have to admit that I like him (?her, I don't know) because he really believes that lifestyle changes (dietary, stress management and exercises) are the most important thing in preventing (and reversing) heart disease (and he frequently give updates on researches in this area).

He recently wrote about stable and unstable plaque in the arteries of the heart. When the blood supply to the heart is blocked, the blockage can be stable or unstable. A stable blockage (plaque) reduce blood supply to your heart, so you have heart disease, but you can live with it. An unstable one is the one that can suddenly rupture, so the body respond to it by trying to heal it the rupture, but this will cause blood clot in the vessel. So that particular area your heart will suddenly be totally deprived of blood supply- and this is what we call a 'heart attack', which are described by people who were lucky enough to survive it, as severe crushing chest pain, with the feeling of impending doom.

He wrote that recently some researchers at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, Manhattan have found a way to detect which plaque is unstable, although they only have done it in mice (which means a good 10 years away from the technique to be passed to be used in humans). They used multi-coloured CT scan. (what a scary thing to know that you have an unstable plaque! almost like a death sentence)

Now come the purpose of me writing this entry.

The popular belief is that when you have high cholesterol you can block your heart. This is true but the blockage/plaque has to be inflamed for it to be vulnerable to give you a heart attack. (for readers who does not understand what inflamed means, you can imagine it similar to 'ínjured'). So this multi-coloured CT detects the cells or agents involved in the process of inflammation (the macrophages). And the 'coloured macrophages' will show on the images of the heart, the denser the colour the more macrophages, meaning the more inflammation and therefore the more vulnerable the plaque.

I actually want to write about the inflammation thing. When I was reading about the role of 'nutraceuticals' (medicinal properties in foods) in cancer, I came across the theory that inflammation is the key process that LEADS to diseases (not the RESULT of diseases). Inflammation gives you an unstable plaque in your heart. It also makes your supposedly benign growth spread (therefore becomes cancerous). And it is the underlying process in various types of arthritis and Alzheimer's. There are many evidence to this but I won't go into them now. So scientists now believe that if we control the inflammation in our body, we can live longer and avoid major diseases.

Interestingly, there are foods that have anti-inflammatory properties. This is proven by lab studies and also the measurement of inflammatory markers in people who consume more of these types of foods. Similarly, there are foods that are pro-inflammatory. Hence the advice is to eat more anti-inflammatory foods and avoid the pro- ones. InsyaAllah your body can heal itself and stay healthy till your expiry date. How comforting! :) This gives you a sense of control in your health.

I will be concise and just list the foods here. You can get into search engines of journals to really know what the food molecules do at cellular level if you need more evidence to strengthen your belief. (You need to belief first before you can do lifestyle changes because it does take great effort to refrain yourself from the foods).

Anti-inflammatory Foods (the ones that you should consume more)

1. Green Tea- contains EGCG, most powerful nutritional molecule against inflammation, which is present in all tea leaves but destroyed during fermentation of black tea-our usual tea-to get this EGCG you have to drink unfermented tea ie green tea.

2. Turmeric -the magic ingredient only present in Asian cuisine- might explain why India has low incidence of cancer compared to the West despite the people having worse exposure to environmental carcinogens.

3. Berries (blueberry, strawberry, raspberry)-contains ellagic acid, which does not only counter inflammation but also detoxify cells (about detoxifying cells I will write in another entry, another important step to protect yourself from diseases).

4. Walnuts, pecans and hazelnuts-also contain ellagic acid like the berries (and these nuts also have high omega-3 levels which is important for immune function, another topic that I will deal with later, insyaAllah)

5. Parsley and celery- contains apigenine, also a strong anti-inflammatory. Don't hesitate to dump this whole bunch in your soups.

6. Ginger roots-other than anti-inflammatory, it is also an anti-oxidant and has been one of the oldest medicine on earth (not just in Malay tradition, but also in Ayurvedic and ancient Chinese).

(there are probably many more tropical veges or fruits that are anti-inflammatory but has not been discovered yet).

Pro-inflammatory Foods (should avoid or limit consumption)

1. Red meats (beef, mutton etc)-especially if the livestocks were fed grains, not grass. And especially cured or processed ones eg sausages and burgers (aarrghh..I know)

2. Sugar- not only it causes you diabetes (that's another whole different story, although somewhat related), the sugar itself is pro-inflammatory (ie let's say sugar does not cause diabetes, the sugar itself is a poison). Please note that there are other names for 'sugar' used by manufacturers- maltose, corn syrup, golden syrup, dextrose, fructose. Try not to take sugar in your drinks, or just drink plain water, because unless you are a cake / biscuits maker, you would not realize how much hidden sugar there are in our daily food.

3. Oil -choose your oil wisely, all oils are pro-inflammatory but some have lower inflammatory effects eg olive oil, linseed, flaxseed or rapeseed oil. Olive oil even have extra benefits, that is it contains polyphenols for your immune system. I think this oil subject is very important because almost everything we cook contains oil, and as sugar, there are many 'hidden oil' eg in cakes, breads, biscuits.

4. Trans Fats (or partially hydrogenated oil / vegetable shortening)- this is the reason we should be careful with processed industrialized foods (ie non-fresh foods). A lot of them contains trans fats, a type of oil that has been transformed to make foods have longer shelf life, and better 'mouth-feel'. It is also cheaper, so it is used by many manufacturers. Denmark and Switzerland have totally banned trans fats from their industry, and recently in January 2010 so did California. Here is a very good website to load you with all trans fats information (they even sued Kraft for putting trans fats in Oreo). It is comforting to know that Tesco has removed all trans fats from their own brand products.

5. Excessive alcohol- no explanation needed. All medical practitioners know this.

6. Artificial food additives eg MSG and artificial sweeteners (aspartame)- beware of 'hidden' MSG and aspartame too eg in ready made sauces, diet cola etc.

There are others. I have listed those above because they are very highly consumed and probably most damaging.

Now, come to think of it, the traditional practice of 'pantang larang' (forbidden foods) by our good ancestors have some basis after all. Post natal mothers for example, have to avoid oil, red meats, ice, also ciku, pineapple and coconut juice (some strict ones say must avoid pineapples for one whole year and worse I've heard is to avoid coconut juice for the whole reproductive years). These foods are probably pro-inflammatory, especially to the female reproductive organs. Although we think that a balanced diet is best but at certain times in our life there are foods that we must avoid altogether. This is to help our body fight the disease and heal itself. Also thanks to the wisdom and creativity of our ancestors incorporating medicinal spices into our daily foods.

And what about 'pantang' by Allah swt ie pork, alcohol, unslaughtered animals, blood, food obtained from unlawful income etc? Surely Allah, the Creator of every creases in our bodies, the Owner of All Knowledge knows best.

If you are hungry...

2010-08-21T09:53:00.001+01:00

The recent flood in Pakistan has affected millions Pakistanis. The destruction of homes, crops, infrastructures will not end there, infectious diseases will soon emerge. Here are some pictures, as a reminder to us, of our countless blessings. Especially now in the month of Ramadhan, whenever we complain of hunger...ooh can't imagine their hunger :(

(I got this from facebook, hope the owner of these photos doesn't mind me posting the photos).

August 6, Northwest Pakistan

what's left...

catching water bottles...

when you are hungry...

police beating looters..please :( .. he is only hungry....

Heart Of A Muslim

2010-08-15T06:19:00.002+01:00

This is a very good nasyeed to teach our young children. The artist is Zain Bhikha (whose voice is similar to the late MJ).

Heart Of A Muslim

Looking up at the sky, searching for Allah Most High
He rejected the way of worshiping gods of clay
Prophet Ebrahim knew that Allah was near
And that the heart of a Muslim is sincere

Under the hot burning sun, he declared God is one
Though with stones on his chest, his Imaan would not rest
The Muadhin knew that right would conquer wrong
And the heart of a Muslim must be strong
(this para is referring to Bilal Bin Rabah)

It's the heart of a Muslim through the guidance of Islam
That makes you fair and kind and helpful to your fellow man
So living as a Muslim means that you must play a part
Allah looks not at how you look, but what is in your heart

In our poor meager state, little food on our plate
Mother said she was glad, always sharing what we had
When I asked how can we share what's not enough
She said the heart of a Muslim's filled with love

He said its time you should know, you will learn as you grow
That some people around will do what's bad to bring you down
Father said to be a star that's shining bright
For the heart of a Muslim does what's right

It's the heart of a Muslim through the guidance of Islam
That makes you fair and kind and helpful to your fellow man
So living as a Muslim means that you must play a part
Allah looks not at how you look, but what is in your heart

So whatever you do, make sure your words are true
Honesty is the best, because life is a test
Even if it hurts so much you want to cry
For the heart of a Muslim does not lie

Tentang Niat

2010-08-10T07:55:00.000+01:00

Beberapa hari lepas saya terpandang sekeping gambar di Facebook yang agak membuat perasaan saya entah gembira atau sedih. Yang sebetulnya saya berasa dengki. Seorang kawan sekelas saya ketika di fakulti peubatan UKM bergambar ketika hari konvokesyennya. Ia konvokesyen untuk ijazah sarjana. Ini bermakna dia seorang pakar sekarang. Pakar sebelum umur 30? Hebat kan? Itu sebabnya saya dengki dengan dia. Tetapi sebenarnya dalam banyak2 orang memang dia lah yang paling layak menerima darjat itu. Dia seorang Muslimah yang sangat merendah diri. Dia sangat pandai. Ketika peperiksaan akhir yang menentukan sama ada kami akan ditauliahkan sebagai doktor atau tidak ramai orang yang cukup2 makan saja lulusnya. Tetapi dia, dia lulus cemerlang malah dipanggil untuk 'distinction viva' iaitu temubual oleh pensyarah2 kami dan juga pensyarah2 luar untuk memastikan sama ada pangkat A yang diperolehinya wajar diberi A+ atau tidak. Saya lupa sama ada dia berjaya di peringkat itu atau tidak. Tetapi sebaik sahaja kami tamat housemanship dia telah dipanggil semula oleh UKM untuk dilatih menjadi pensyarah dalam bidang perubatan dalaman (internal medicine). Dan minggu lepas dia telah berjaya menggenggam ijazah sarjananya. Sebelum umur 30 tahun (sarjana perubatan mengambil masa 4 tahun, bukan setahun seperti bidang2 lain). Dan dia juga seorang isteri dan ibu. Bukan seorang diri yang mempunyai semua masa untuk diri sendiri.

Walaupun dia sangat pandai, kalau bercakap biasa dengan dia tentu kita tak terasa 'inferior' dengan dia. Dia hanya menunjuk pandai jika kita bertanya soalan berkaitan pelajaran atau pun semasa peperiksaan. Gambar konvo itu pun bukan dia yang letak. Itu hanya gambar yang di-tag oleh rakan sarjananya. Di statusnya pun tiada kata2 " Aku pass!" atau sebagainya.

Saya menegurnya dan berkata tahniah dan saya dengki padanya. Jawapannya? Terima kasih, nanti turn kau pulak.

Saya terfikir, kenapa saya dengki padanya. Memangla sebab dia lebih daripada saya kan. Tetapi kenapa saya nak jadi macam dia? Kenapa saya nak belajar dan menjadi pakar? Untuk gaji lebih? untuk status yang lebih tinggi? Supaya orang puji2 saya dan menjadikan saya rujukan?

Saya pun tak tahu (atau sebenarnya saya tahu?). Niat sambung belajar untuk menjadi lebih pakar memang banyak dibayangi unsur riak. Susahnya nak bersihkan niat itu. Saya tertanya adakah antara kita yang menyambung master atau phd semata2 kerana Allah? Kerana kita mahu Islam gilang gemilang. Kerana Rasulullah suruh kita menuntut ilmu hingga liang lahad?

Tentang niat ini sudah lama saya ingin kongsi satu tulisan kawan kami, Dr Wan Ahmad Hafiz. Dia dan isterinya (yang pernah berkongsi satu dorm dengan saya ketika tingkatan 1) telah belajar dan bekerja di Ireland selama 10 tahun. Kini mereka akan pulang ke Malaysia (for good). Ini sememangnya satu keputusan sukar kerana gaji doktor di Ireland mencecah RM 30 ribu sebulan. Peluang melanjut pelajaran juga agak senang berbanding di Malaysia. Untuk melakukan satu penghijrahan memang perlukan pengorbanan dan niat yang betul.

Ini tulisannya tentang niatnya untuk kembali ke Malaysia, yang saya ambil dengan izinnya.

Reasons to go home

When i told others of our plan to go home for good (Insya-Allah), I'll be greeted in any of these few ways:
- "That is so nice. Where is your country? Are you looking forward to that?" etc. Obviously this response usually comes from non-malaysian, who does not really know what is the situation back in malaysia.
- "Why would you want to go back to Malaysia? Didn't you hear all the crazy things that happens to doctors in Malaysia?"

I guess, i don't have any particular tendency or urge to dwell too much on the debate which one is better. I just get on with it, and once i made my decision, let us hope for the best, Insya-Allah. Money is not the ultimate objective for me to stay in ireland. Of course to certain extent, it would help to have an extra income. But there are other reasons. There are people who want to stay here for their children educations, others want to finish their training up to the consultant level and others probably for political reasons.

For whatever reasons that we have, let us make sure that the time we spend in one place would not go wasted from the world viewpoint and moreover the hereafter. The correct intentions are so vital that everyone of us should examine every so often, even for those already in Malaysia.

Intention

If i begin with good intention of the reason for coming home, what would it be? Can i force myself to have these intentions? A man came to the prophet and asked, "A man fights for war booty, another fights for fame and a third fights for showing off, which of them fight in Allah's cause?" The prophet replied, "He who fights that Allah's word (ie Islam) should be superior, fights in Allah's cause. (Sahih Bukhari, Muslim).

We learnt from this simple hadith that any intention to elevate islam to its proper level is the way to go. It could be in many different ways. Money could come into picture, but with the correct intention so that we can help other people in need.

Value system

Different communities has different value system. I agree that we might not be 'culturally' advance compare to people of Western world, but I feel at ease talking to our own people and especially with people of the same belief system. It might be that people who stays abroad wants to propogate the teaching of Islam, but for me, I have been here for 10 years, what did I do for Islam? In my opinion, Insya-Allah I might do better in Malaysia.

It would be nice to discuss about religion in open space. I remember reading a blog of my friend. She ts an anesthetist who put people to sleep. She asked a patient to say shahadah before doing so, and the patient died later. This story might be really simple to you, but it sticks with me until now. I would not have the oppurtunity to say those things, and I really want to say it to people:
- Makcik, kita cuba sedaya upaya untuk berubat, tapi jangan lupa selalu doa okay. Allah sentiasa menerima doa hambanya. kalau bukan dgn cara yg kita nak, mungkin dia elakkan kita drp bala yg lebih besar.
- Jangan lupa ajak/tolong dia sembahyang walaupun dalam keadaan macam ni pakcik. Boleh tolong ambik wudhu. Sebelum dia tidur, ajar dia mengucap selalu yer pakcik.
- Dialysis ni umumnya tak membatalkan puasa pakcik. Pakcik boleh cuba puasa kalau pakcik larat. kalau pakcik nak tanya apa apa lagi, boleh saya tolong - kalau saya tahu.
- Tak perlulah marah marah, kita sama sama buat kerja doktor ni. Kalau saya salah, boleh tunjukkan cara mana yang lebih elok. kalau marah marah, itu cuma buat saya sakit hati dan tak akan belajar apa apa bende baru pun.

And so many more....

Family

Looking back at my life history, I actually spent more time outside my home than inside. I left home when I was 13. and till now still am away.

My mother died when I was working in Ireland. i have already missed the whole good deeds that i can do to my mother. Remember the hadith of being dutiful to a mother 3x more than a father. This means that I have to be dutiful to my father a lot more now. Ibn 'Abbas said, "If any Muslim obeys Allah regarding his parents, Allah will open two gates of the Garden for him. If there is only one parent, then one gate will be opened. If one of them is angry, then Allah will not be pleased with him until that parent is pleased with him." He was asked, "Even if they wrong him?" "Even if they wrong him" he replied. (Al-adab al-Mufrad). Ibn Abbas said that he did not know of any action better for bringing a person near to Allah than dutifulness to his mother.

What about the rest of our family members, old or new. I felt that it is part of my duty to 'practically' expand the already expanded family.I don't want to be known as an uncle whom they see only once a year. I want to be involve with them, teaching them something about this life that I have learnt. My kid will need to know who are her parents' family and friends. It is part of the sunnah to continue this tie of friendship with the friends of our parents.

O my brothers and sisters, Prophet has cursed the person whom while having their father and mother but still could not enter jannah, because they did not serve their parents well. And may Allah prevent us from the curse.

Things to change

But they are so many things that are not right yet in malaysia. Look at the salary or working condition for example. And how uneven the distribution of doctors. While in UM, we hear about extracorpuscular shockwave therapy for angina, something which i have to do a bit of reading as i haven't heard about it before - in other place we have doctors performing all sorts of procedure without proper supervision as there just not enough doctors there. Look at the attitude of people/doctors. the back bitting was so severe. That does not include the rape, baby dumping syndrome, the heat, balck magic etc.

Let us not forget, these things does not happen in Malaysia only. It happens here in Ireland as well. we hear almost every day people are bitching each other. In peripheral hospitals, the A&E system was so defective that other doctors make fun of them. Alcohol is everywhere and so difficult to go to restaurant where there is no alcohol on board. Islamic schools are scarce in number, and our teens are exposed to the danger of free sex, drugs and alcohol.

Most of us who is living abroad would like to go home one day. we can make a choice, whether we can be part of the team to build the health system to the level of our satisfaction, or we can join only when almost everything is in place. Of course there will never be a perfection in health system. While there are still plenty to do, I think i better get involve soon.

It is a bit like Naruto after few years training outside the village with Jiraiya. When the training finished, it is time to pass the knowledge to others. Not that I am saying I have sage power, but i do believe that I have the responsibility over other people in the village/country.

Other wordly things

Imagine shopping complex that close at 10pm, not at 6pm, with rows of shops and new gadgets in Low Yat, instead of Currys + PC World + Dixon. in which they are all from the same parent company. Warung that open till midnight, especially when you are tired after coming home from work and too lazy to cook, instead of delivery from Spice n Rice or Chiken Hut.

I have enough of Castles and Churches around Europe when I travel. I am longing to go Sabah & Sarawak with my family, or having a camping experience again like the good old days.

I want to attend formal religious education in the masjid, instead of listening to VCD of Dr Asri, or searching Youtube of Islamic lectures, or learning from books - which is not complete.

May Allah show us the proper way to a prosper hereafter, with whatever way we choose to live in this world. Ameen.

It is time to go home.
@Peace.

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Ini blog beliau, yang banyak isi tapi 'senyap sunyi'.

Ramadhan akan bermula. Setiap tahun ayah saya pesan apabila niat puasa niat untuk menyucikan diri sekali. Baru sekarang saya agak2 faham maksudnya (sebab ayah saya jenis diam yang tak berapa pandai nak huraikan maksud). Masa kecil hanya ikut-ikut saja.

"Sesungguhnya Allah tidak melihat kepada tubuh, rupa luaran dan harta kamu, tetapi melihat kepada hati dan amalan kamu" (Riwayat Muslim)

On a lighter note- hari itu Papaboyz berniat membelikan saya sesuatu, tapi ada masalah lain pula (kami kena beli kereta baru kerana kereta tua kami rosak!) jadi ia perlu dibatalkan (atau ada kemungkinan tangguh saja?). Papaboyz kata, takper.. yang penting niat ada dah dapat pahala :P

Kisah 3 Musim

2010-08-06T17:56:00.000+01:00

Waktu itu cuaca masih dingin. Maklumlah, bulan Februari, angin dari benua Artik masih bertiup. Kami mendapat panggilan dari kawan kami di Leeds yang adik saya pengsan dengan berlumuran muntah di rumahnya. Memang sudah sebulan dia tak berapa sihat, kurang selera makan dan asyik muntah. Kami sangka kerana jangkitan virus yang lebih dikenali sebagai 'winter bug' (Norovirus). 2 kali dia berjumpa doktor dan doktor hanya berkata 'rest and plenty of water' saja.

Sedang mengulangkaji dengan rakan2. Ketika ini dia sudah mula sakit.

Pada mulanya saya masih menyangka yang dia hanya 'dehydrated'. Mungkin otak saya cuba menipu saya untuk melindungi perasaan saya. Sedangkan seminggu sebelum itu kami ada melawatnya dan saya perasan dia agak pucat dan mengadu hidungnya berdarah tak berhenti. Jika saya di dewan peperiksaan dan diberi kes pesakit seperti ini, dengan sejarah kansernya dulu, tentu dah berhelai2 kertas saya jawab apa masalahnya pesakit tersebut. Tetapi fikiran saya seperti dihijab. Itu sebabnya etika kedoktoran tidak membenarkan seorang doktor merawat keluarga sendiri, kerana pesakit tidak akan mendapat rawatan terbaik, dia sama ada akan 'undertreat' atau 'overtreat'.

2 jam selepas itu saya menerima panggilan dari pakar di jabatan kecemasan Leeds General Infirmary. Dia bercakap dengan saya seperti doktor bercakap dengan doktor. Dia terus memberitahu saya keputusan garam Potassium darah adik saya. 8.5. Ia memang dos maut. Saya duduk dan minta dia ulang. Dia mengulang dan memberi juga kadar urea dan creatinine (toksin yang patut dibuang oleh buah pinggang). Ia hampir 2 ribu.

"We have to dialyze him straight away"

"Sure..."

Saya berfikir apa yang sedang berlaku. Adakah kanser dia kini menyumbat buah pinggangnya? Ketika itu memang tak diketahui lagi. Saya menelefon kakak saya di Malaysia. Ibu saya baru 2 minggu kematian emaknya. Kami tidak memberitahu sesiapa lagi. Selepas beberapa jam doktor memberitahu yang adik saya akan dipindahkan ke hospital besar untuk didialisis. Hmmm bila saya nak beritahu ibu bapa saya ni... saya mula terfikir kalau2 berlaku komplikasi sewaktu dialisis tentu saya akan rasa bersalah. Sebenarnya saya masih mengharapkan yang keadaan adik saya sebenarnya tidak sekritikal yang saya sangka, supaya berita yang bakal disampaikan itu tidaklah begitu buruk.

Saya telefon mak saya. Saya tanya adakah dia berdiri atau duduk. Dia kata duduk. Saya katakan saya ada berita. Mak saya terus menyangka yang saya mengandung lagi. Kalau itu beritanya tentulah saya tak telefon malam-malam.

Dipendekkan cerita malam itu juga ibu bapa saya menempah tiket kapal terbang.

Sebelum ibu bapa saya datang adik saya sangat kritikal. Jantungnya boleh berhenti bila2 masa kerana potassium yang tinggi itu. Dia boleh koma akibat toksin urea yang mungkin ke otak. Dia boleh strok kerana tekanan darahnya mencecah 200/120mmHg. Alhamdulillah dia masih sedar. Kemudian apabila mereka menebuk pinggangnya untuk 'bypass' buah pinggangnya dia mengalami pendarahan yang tak berhenti. Saya tahu pada ketika itu doktor2 hanya membuat apa yang mereka mampu tapi mereka juga berserah. Mereka tak benarkan saya balik kerana ada kemungkinan mereka terpaksa memasukkan kamera ke dalam abdomennya untuk mengesan punca pendarahan.

"We'll wait and see.."

Alhamdulillah selepas beberapa jam pendarahan berhenti sendiri.

Semasa di high dependency unit

Saya terpaksa ke bilik hostelnya mengambil beberapa barang. Apabila saya masuk, saya lihat sekeliling dan saya duduk menangis seorang diri. Mungkin kerana saya berada di bilik tempat dia belajar, tempat kehidupan normalnya seperti orang lain (yang tidak selalu dia nikmati). Di dinding penuh dengan nota2 dan doa2. Di tepi tingkap ada gambar ketika dia berumur satu tahun, di sebelah kek berbentuk nombor 1. Itu gambar 'favourite'nya. Kehidupan normal untuk dia memang episod2 sementara. Apabila saya turun Papaboyz bertanya kenapa lambat. Saya katakan saya terpaksa mengemas biliknya yang bersepah.

Sehari sebelum ibu bapa saya tiba di UK, saya 'menyental' badan adik saya yang dah beberapa hari tak mandi. Nanti terkejut pula kedua2 orang tua kami yang ada darah tinggi tu kalau melihat dia dengan tiub sana sini dan badan berbau.

Masih mampu tersenyum

Ibu bapa saya tidur di bilik asramanya. Sepanjang mereka di Leeds, warga Malaysia di situ memang telah membantu mereka di luar batasan insan biasa. Yang memasak untuk mereka setiap hari, yang menghantar dan menjemput dari hospital setiap hari, yang membawa ke kedai, yang membawa ke universiti berjumpa pensyarah, yang meminjamkan wang ketika kesesakan, tidak kurang juga yang mendoakan. Ramai yang menyuruh ibu bapa saya tinggal saja di rumah mereka, tapi ibu bapa saya menolak kerana takut akan lebih menambahkan beban mereka yang semuanya masih belajar.

Hampir sebulan adik saya di hospital. Tekanan darah tak stabil, menunggu toksin turun etc. Nasib baik hospital agak selesa. Dengan hidangan makanan yang boleh dipilih dari senarai menu (juga ada menu halal) dan khidmat perpustakaan bergerak, juga pelajar2 jururawat yang sering melayannya.

Menu, pilih ikut selera

Yang halal

Setiap katil pesakit mempunyai 'entertainment port' sendiri (tv, radio, telefon dan internet)

Salji turun menyeliputi bumi UK. Ibu saya yang tidak pernah melihat salji berpeluang bermain salji. Mahal sungguh harga pengalaman main salji itu, harganya ialah kesihatan anak lelaki tunggalnya.

Mereka memasukkan 'stent' ke dalam salur buah pinggang adik saya dan tiub kecing di pinggangnya dicabut. Namun tak sampai 2 minggu 'stent' itu telah dihimpit oleh kanser yang ganas itu. Adik saya terpaksa ditebuk kembali dan kali ini tiub kencing itu kekal bersamanya apabila dia keluar dari hospital. Maka berjalan2lah dia dengan 'ekor' tambahan. Kencing secara normal itu memang satu nikmat Allah yang kita tak pernah syukuri secara sedar.

Selepas sebulan lebih ayah saya terpaksa pulang ke Malaysia kerana beberapa urusan keluarga. Kami katakan jangan balik dulu, tunggu chemotherapy mula baru balik jika adik saya tiada masalah. Tetapi ayah saya tetap berkeras untuk pulang. Selang beberapa hari ayah saya pulang adiknya pula pulang ke rahmatullah kerana kanser payudara. Mungkin itu sebabnya ayah saya bertegas untuk pulang.

Sebelum chemotherapy bermula Papaboyz mencukur rambut Ayim, supaya bila rambutnya gugur semangatnya tak gugur sekali.

OK jugak skill Papaboyz ni..

Musim bunga tiba. Bunga2 daffodil dan snowdrops muncul diikuti tulip dan lain2. Ibu dan adik saya tinggal bersama kami di Manchester dan berulang-alik ke Leeds untuk rawatan chemotherapy. Bermula juga perubahan dalam cara kami memasak dan apa yang kami makan. Saya cuba untuk tidak menukar menu, sebaliknya menukar bahan2 sahaja supaya kami tidak mendapat kejutan budaya. Minyak masak saya tukar ke 'extra virgin olive oil'. Telur biasa ke telur 'free range, high omega 3". Gula putih ke gula perang pekat (dark brown sugar). Tepung biasa ke tepung wholemeal. Buah-buahan dan sayur-sayuran dilebihkan. Ayam dan ikan tidak lagi saya goreng, semuanya dibakar. Makanan kaya phytochemical untuk antikanser dimasak setiap hari seperti cendawan, brokoli, bayam, capsicum, tomato, begitu juga buah2an berries, citrus dan epal. Resipi kek dan biskut juga saya tukar supaya lebih antikanser. Burger dan sosej kami dah tak beli. Daging juga kami dah tak beli. Tapi sesekali makan di luar memang ada makan juga benda2 ni. Agak sukar untuk berubah. Ia perlu banyak tenaga minda untuk konsentrasi. Ia juga dikekang masalah kewangan. Memang mahal. Tapi organ badan tiada galang ganti. Kalau sudah ada walau sedikit kerosakan, tempoh 'warranty'nya akan berkurangan.

Suatu hari saya mula memasak ayam 'goreng' saya tanyakan Papaboyz setelah dia makan.

"Ayam OK?"
"OK je. Rasa biasalah"

Nampak seperti dia berfikir adakah salah jawapan yg dia bagi hehehe. Agaknya adakah ini resipi baru yg sepatutnya dia rasa 'kelainannya'. Tapi sebenarnya itulah jawapan yg saya nak dengar. Rasa yang sama. Sebab sebenarnya ayam goreng itu tidak digoreng tapi dibakar. Rupa dan rasa sama seperti yg digoreng. Jadi sejak hari itu saya tidak lagi menggoreng ayam atau ikan, termasuklah jika hendak memasak ayam berlada, ayam kicap, ayam tomato etc. Saya rasa dengan cara ini kami telah megurangkan penggunaan minyak mungkin 30-40%. Minyak itu bukan sahaja meninggikan kolesterol tetapi ia juga pro-inflamasi dan pro-kanser. Jadi sebenarnya makanan berminyak adalah bukan sahaja faktor risiko untuk penyakit jantung, tetapi juga penyakit2 inflamasi (seperti arthriris) dan penyakit kanser. Cara ini juga mengelakkan saya dari mengguna semula minyak bekas gorengan (yang biasa dilakukan). Dapur juga lebih bersih, tiada percikan minyak, dan saya jimat masa memasak kerana boleh melakukan kerja2 lain ketika ayam dibakar dalam oven. siapa yang ingin mencuba cara ini lumurkan ayam dengan kunyit seperti biasa dan masukkan ke dalam oven tanpa menutupnya selama lebih kurang 20-30 minit. (Jika ayam ditutup ia tak akan rangup seperti ayam goreng).

Sebelum

Selepas.. Rupa dan rasa sama sahaja dengan yang digoreng

Kami juga cuba untuk mengurangkan makanan yang diproses. Oleh itu ibu saya terpaksa belajar dari saya cara2 membuat kek dan biskut. Oh, bilalah saya akan dapat breadmaker saya supaya saya boleh buat roti sendiri pula. Bukanlah rajin sangat, tapi sekurang2nya bila datang mood saya membuat roti bolehla kami makan roti segar yang bebas pengawet. Tetapi yang sangat sukar ialah mengurangkan garam dan santan. Yang ini kami masih tak dapat kurangkan. Ada cadangan?

Sepanjang menjalani chemotherapy, Alhamdulillah adik saya OK. Hanya lemah, pening dan demam beberapa kali. Sekurang2nya tiada ulser mulut, muntah2, septicemia atau komplikasi lain yang lebih teruk. Walaupun chemotherapy merosakkan sistem imun (yg sebenarnya sangat penting untuk membunuh sel2 kanser), kami cuba baiki sistem imunnya melalui makanan yang merangsang sistem imun seperti Green tea (3 cawan sehari), rempah-ratus, buah2an dan sayuran tertentu. Kami cuma ikhtiar. Penentunya hanyalah Yang Mengatur Sekelian Alam.

Strawberry celup dark chocolate (>70% cocoa)

Musim panas tiba. Mengikut kitaran waktu sahaja ia tiba, tetapi tahun ini tidaklah panas sangat. Suhu tidak melebihi 25 darjah pun. Hujan juga sering turun. Adik saya beransur sihat. Dia mula menyatakan yang kawan2nya sudah bekerjaya hebat, berkeluarga dan berharta. Ini gara2 melihat gambar2 di Facebook. Memang jika hendak dibandingkan dia dengan Papaboyz, pada umur Ayim sekarang Papaboyz telah pun mempunyai rumah dan kereta sendiri, isteri comel (hehehe) dan 2 orang anak. Apa yang dapat kami katakan? Memang dia tiada apa2 pencapaian yang boleh menaikkan 'self-esteem'nya. Tetapi sebagai pengembara dalam perjalanan ribuan tahun menuju ke destinasi kekal ini, Allah telah berfirman yang anak dan harta itu hanya hiasan sahaja, yang membuatkan kita lupa padaNya.

Rasul Allah (saw) said: “Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a traveler.” [Bukhari]

Dan sebenarnya apakah harta yang lebih berharga?

“Harta yang utama adalah lisan yang senantiasa berzikir, hati yang senantiasa bersyukur dan isteri beriman yang membantu suami dalam menegakkan bangunan imannya.” ( Riwayat Ibnu Majah )

Pun begitu kami sedar, tidak sama yang berkata2 dengan bahu yg memikul dan hati yang menanggung.

Minggu lepas pakar hematologi memberi kami keputusan CT Scan Ayim setelah dia tamat chemotherapy. Alhamdulillah, kanser yang menyekat buah pinggangnya telah tiada. Tetapi kini hanya buah pinggang kanannya yang masih berfungsi. Buah pinggang kiri telah kecut dan lesu.

Hari ini ibu dan adik saya berangkat pulang ke Malaysia. Semoga selamat tiba tanpa apa2 masalah. Dapat pulang bersama ini sebenarnya satu nikmat besar, kerana pada hari ibu bapa saya tiba di UK pada musim sejuk itu kami tidak pasti sama ada Ayim akan mengikut mereka pulang.

Selamat Jalan Mama dan Ayim.

"Kalau ada sumur di ladang, bolehlah kami menumpang mandi...."

Kisah Pembuli Professional

2010-08-02T01:48:00.000+01:00

Sejak kecil kita sering dibuli. Di sekolah pun ramai dibuli. Di jalan raya. Di tempat kerja.

Kalau berjumpa doktor pun pesakit boleh dibuli untuk bersetuju dengan keputusan Tuan Doktor (bukan Tuan Punya Badan). Hari ini saya ingin berkongsi cerita tentang lagi satu golongan yang berkemungkinan besar untuk membuli kerana kuasa yang mereka ada. Ia berlaku kepada kawan saya dan diceritakannya di FB. Saya copy saja ceritanya.

"I was hungry, so masuk kedai and makan by myself. I ate at this adjoining table for 8. Six cops came in, and wanted to sit at the table. No hal on my side. But two of them start to do weird things like shove the tissue box and the kicap and pepper towards me until it hits my plate. Still, I buat donno. Then one of them starts talking to me and asking if I was eating alone, and do I feel weird (I think he meant "embarrassed") eating alone, and I said No. He asked if I'd like to tapau. And I said, No. I mean, I'm eating man, can't you see. Then he starts muttering to his friends something and they all laugh. Apparently trying to make me feel uncomfortable. He then starts to say something to me but I cut him off and say "bukan ke korang tak sepatutnya makan di tempat awam di dalam uniform?". He then keeps quiet and turned away. Then all of them fell silent and makan. So then we all ate in peace and total quiet, at least until I left some 15 mins later."

Hehehe. Saya tak taulah betul ke pegawai polis tak boleh pakai uniform ketika makan di luar. Saya fikir agak susah juga kalau ketika bertugas dan pergi makan terpaksa menukar baju. (Kalau doktor atau jururawat memang tak boleh pakai uniform di luar hospital kerana risiko jangkitan kuman). Tapi mungkin kerana beruniform itu mereka pun berani menimbulkan ketidakselesaan kepada perempuan yang makan seorang diri. Mereka salah pilih mangsa. Kawan saya itu dulu ahli pasukan debat sekolah kami dan kini kerjayanya pun memang memerlukan keberanian.

Jangan biar diri kita dibuli :P.

Perkembangan terbaru saya...

2010-07-27T20:32:00.000+01:00

Nama saya Abid. Saya dah besar. Abang-abang saya kekadang panggil saya Dabid, atau Dabdab. Kadang2 dah jadik Tab (?). Mama saya pelik macam mana abang-abang saya boleh dapat nama-nama tu.

Saya dan abang2 saya

Saya belum boleh berjalan. Tapi saya sangat lasak. Mama saya dah tak boleh biarkan saya main sendiri sebab saya akan panjat ke sana sini. Saya suka! Saya pantang nampak tempat tinggi sikit sendi-sendi saya pun mulalah gatal....

Saya panjat nak tengok tingkap. Ada apa di luar sana ya?

Saya suka pergi berjalan dengan Papa saya. Papa saya bawa saya pergi kedai makan. Saya join aje. Asal Papa dgn Mama saya happy ok lah tu. Saya pandai duduk diam-diam.

Di kedai Thai Banana. Saya tak suka orang kat kedai ni asyik kacau2 saya. Mentang2 saya baby lagi. Saya tau lah saya comel. Saya nangis.

Di kedai kopi Costa. Mama saya kata sedap kopi Costa. Saya rilek je tengok Papa saya baca paper. Apa2 pun Mama saya kata Starbucks toksah pegi, sebab depa bagi duit kat Zionis. Saya pun tak tau Zionis tu siapa

Sedapnya kopi ais tu. Bilalah Mama saya akan bagi saya rasa kopi tu?

Saya suka abang-abang saya. Abang2 saya suka main dengan saya. Tapi kekadang Abang Ammar suka lepuk saya. Suka hati dia je. Beberapa bulan sejak saya makin pandai ni saya dah tau lepuk dia balik. Tapi Mama saya kata dia lepuk saya sebab saya suka rampas mainan dia. Memang betul pun.

Saya korek telinga Abang Adam.

Saya naik bot dengan Abang Ammar. Dia yang ajar saya. Mama saya membebel je.

Saya suka buat sepah. Abang2 saya yang kena kemas. Mama saya tak kisah asalkan bila Papa saya nak balik abang saya kemas.

Saya suka pegi bercuti dengan keluarga saya. Papa saya bagi saya main pasir. Saya main tak ingat dunia. Saya main sampai paha saya berbelang sebab sunburn dan rambut saya pun berpasir. Bila Mama saya nak mandikan saya pampers saya pun penuh dengan pasir. Nasib baik bontot saya tak gatal malam tu.

Main pasir di Bournemouth.

Semasa bercuti pun kami berpiknik bukak bekal. Mama saya letak saya bawah payung. Abang-abang saya makan sandwich, saya minum susu.

Musim panas ni saya seperti biasa berlenggeng je. Bila saya nampak semua orang makan aiskrim, saya pun nak juga! Mana boleh lepaskan peluang ni. Mama saya terpaksa bagi saya satu kon sebab saya jerit-jerit nak makan sendiri.

Sedapnya!

Selain dari bermain, saya juga suka baca buku. Saya pun berangan yang saya boleh menulis. Mama saya tak kisah asal saya tak cucuk mata atau lubang hidung saya.

Saya punggah buku dari almari. Seronok!

Haa dah jumpa buku favorite saya, In The Night Garden. Saya suka tengok Tombliboos tu.

Bila Mama saya bungkus buku masuk kotak pun saya nak menyibuk jugak.

Selain dari main toys saya suka usik benda lain. Saya suka explore rumah saya.

Saya main plug. Tapi Papa saya letak cover kat plug tu.

Saya suka jugak main netbook Mama saya. Ini memang Mama saya tension. Bila agaknya Papa nak belikan komputer untuk saya dan abang2 saya?

Mama saya cuba ganti dengan komputer Mickey Mouse tapi saya takmo. Saya tolak komputer mainan sebab saya nakjugak netbook Mama saya.

Saya suka jugak menyibuk bila abang saya main Wii. Saya pun nak join.

Sejak akhir2 ni, saya makin berani. Skill balancing saya semakin advance. Tak percaya tengoklah aksi 'merempit' saya ni.

Kuda kesayangan saya.

Sedia....

yeahh....!

Saya heppiii! (selalu nak gugur jantung Mama saya)

Selain itu, stunt saya yang baru ialah macam Superman.

Saya panjat dulu kusyen sofa yang Papa saya beli (abang saya ajar)

Lepas tu saya slide ke bawah (ni saya reka sendiri, bukan abang saya ajar).

Itulah sedikit sebanyak perkembangan terbaru saya. Sampai jumpa lagi!

Babai!

Juggling glass balls

2010-07-25T02:02:00.000+01:00

Health is a crystal ball...

Living Proof : A Medical Mutiny

2010-07-23T15:42:00.001+01:00

Multiple Myeloma is cancer of the bone marrow (our factory of blood cells). Anybody who has this the system will go haywire. The person would be anemic, and minor infections might kill. Furthermore, this type of cancer cells eat away the bones, so the person can fracture his bones with only trivial trauma and also might fracture the vertebra (the bones that hold your spinal cord)--easily they end up paralyzed. Also the abnormal cancer cells will damage the person's kidneys leading to kidney failure.

In modern medicine, everybody agrees that there is no cure for Multiple Myeloma yet. Treated with harsh regime of chemotherapy and stem sell transplant,the median survival is 3 years.

Michael Gearin-Tosh was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in June 1994. He was a lecturer at Oxford University. He lived until 12 years later, wrote this book after the 8th year and managed to do all these without any chemotherapy, radiotherapy or stem cell transplant.

At diagnosis, he was 56 years old but his bones were of a 90 year-old. His haemoglobin was below 10g/dL (normal for man is 14-16g/dL). Instead of submitting himself to chemotherapy that would suppress his immune system, he opted for an alternative therapy that boost his immunity. His cancer markers normalize after 5 months of this alternative therapy.

How did he do it? 12 glasses of fresh juice per day, daily bowel enemas (bowel washout), acupuncture and an ancient Chinese breathing exercise. He also took massive amount of vitamins and minerals a day (tablets and injections) and also glutathione, co-enzyme Q-10, Maitake-D Fraction (a mushroom extract) and peppermint oil.

This book should be read by every physician, and see how he viewed his consultations with the doctors. How he said every consultant 'rushed him to treatment' and 'bullied him professionally'. Interestingly, he also noted this in the attitude of the alternative practitioners. (I think our community is familiar with this. A hospital doctor says don't go to the bomoh and the bomoh says don't go to the hospital. When can we compliment each other?).

He suggested that every consultation that has a major impact on a patient's life (eg a consultation to reveal a bad diagnosis) should be allowed to be recorded by the patient. Mind you, this is not for legal purposes, but simply because in such situation, the person receiving the news is in a denial state and might not be able to focus fully. They would need the recording a few hours later or the next day to understand the doctor's plan for them.

Also this book showed that, if you do not opt for chemotherapy, the alternative medicine required to fight a nasty disease is equally grueling to a chemotherapy regime (imagine 12 glasses of freshly made juice-that's almost a glass an hour when you are awake). It is probably safer (but there is no data on the safety of such regime), and offers you longer survival, but definitely it is not easier. Plus it is not covered by insurance companies. Either way, ikhtiar is the key word here.

His hospital consultants were open-minded enough to let him follow the alternative regime and allow him to come for follow ups at the hospital. This is important because even though other practitioners have other ways to heal, but only modern medicine has the knowledge of x-rays, scanning and checking blood parameters (although some traditional practitioners claim they can 'see' but nobody else has the ability to show back what they 'see' to the patient).

He did this in 1994. Now 16 years later, I can't believe such therapy is not accepted yet. I hope Malaysian dietitians and oncologists / haematologists do believe that nutraceuticals can really kill cancer cells, and they will advise the patients to triple their fruits and veges consumptions.

Oh yes..From this book also I was introduced to another 2 division of medicine- Psychoneuroimmunology and Orthomolecular Medicine.

Beri Makna Hidup Kepada Mereka

2010-07-19T11:14:00.002+01:00

Hari ini Kak Dalilah Tamrin meninggalkan kita. AlFatihah untuk beliau. Memang perjalanan yang sangat sukar jika menghidap kanser. Tetapi tulisan beliau telah menjadi inspirasi kepada ramai orang. Ketabahan beliau memberi makna kepada orang lain.

Siapa yang sakit tetapi banyak sokongan dari keluarga amat beruntung. Tetapi bagaimana dengan mereka yg bergantung hidup pada kudrat? Tiada insurans atau pencen? Anak2 masih bersekolah?

Di sini saya sertakan bagaimana untuk memberi sumbangan kepada MAKNA, Majlis Kanser Nasional. Sumbangan akan membantu pesakit2 kanser yg sangat memerlukan sokongan kewangan. Ia juga membantu sukarelawan MAKNA menjalankan tugas-tugas mereka. Mungkin satu hari nanti ia cukup besar untuk membantu program research mereka. Ia semudah memberi barangan online.

Modes of Donation to MAKNA

Cancer touches people’s lives at a time when they need emotional support and a sense of hope. It is emotionally & financially overwhelming hence, MAKNA is committed in continuously providing these services. To continue with our services, we have lined up some fundraising channels, which are listed here.
Every donation ensures that cancer patient, their families, friends and co-workers will always have a place to turn for help.

Online Donation

Donate online through our secure service at www.makna.org.my click “Donate” button. Donations can be made via credit card Master card or Visa Card and Bank Savings account from Maybank, RHB, CIMB and AMBank.

Payroll Giving (PG)

Through our Payroll Giving Programme, your donation is deducted directly from your payroll, making giving convenient and easy. Employees from Corporate companies can take part by filling a consent form. Every month the Human Resource will tabulate their employee donation via payroll and send the donation to MAKNA in the form of a cheque.

Direct Debit Donor Programme (DDDP)

DDDP is a MAKNA fundraising solution that provides the organisation with a regular and predictable flow of funds. This sustainable source of income allows MAKNA to plan for the future, and is invaluable in the fulfilment of its mission to help as many cancer patients as possible. We accept credit card (Master / Visa) Debit Card (Amex) & Bank Savings account (Maybank & RHB)
DDDP encourages monthly and half-yearly donation of RM38 & RM58. One off donation is also accepted. This programme doesn’t accept cash donations.

Sens Saves Lives (SSL)

SSL welcomes loose changes “coins” from 5 cents to 50 cents. The donation boxes comes in three different sizes, namely baby box, medium size acrylic box & 6ft tall Giant Donation Box.
The baby box is a 4 x 2½ inches “Do It Yourself” box that serves like a “Piggy Bank”.
The medium size box 7½L x 6W x 7½H suitable for shopping malls, hypermarkets, company, colleges, higher learning institutions and all community events.
The 6foot Giant Donation box serves a collation points at prominent locations, like shopping malls, hypermarkets, highway concessionaires, parks, hospitals etc.
SSL boxes can be found at TESCO Stores, Hospital Pusrawi, PLUS Highway, Shakey’s Pizza, Aneka Supermarket and STAR Lrt Stations nationwide.

Kempen Kutip Syiling

This programme is jointly organized with Ministry of Education. All Primary and Secondary school pupils collect loose change (coins lying loose) from their homes and hand it to their respective schools. School representatives collect and bank-in the amount into Kempen Kutip Syiling account.
You children are exposed to charitable work from young and learn about the disease “cancer”. This programme is supported by Bank Negara, Malaysia.

Bank Account
Donations can be directly banked onto following MAKNA bank accounts:-

BANK	Account No.	Account Name
Maybank	014075326343	Majlis Kanser Nasional or MAKNA
Maybank	514075001920	Majlis Kanser Nasional or MAKNA
Public Bank	3992405321	Majlis Kanser Nasional or MAKNA
AM Bank	0232011012160	Majlis Kanser Nasional or MAKNA
EON Bank	0582110001666	Majlis Kanser Nasional or MAKNA
Hong Leong Bank	00101001166	Majlis Kanser Nasional or MAKNA
CIMB	14630000638058	Majlis Kanser Nasional or MAKNA
Bank Simpanan Nasional	1410029000422576	Majlis Kanser Nasional or MAKNA
UOB Bank	34600009004	Majlis Kanser Nasional or MAKNA

Mail us a donation

We accept cheque, money order, postal order and bank drafts make payable to MAKNA.

Wills & Trust

A will can be written to include a gift to MAKNA.
Donation with complete donor details (Name of Donor / company, NRIC of Donor / Company Registered number, Mailing address, Date & Amount) will be presented with a Tax-Exempt receipt.
Donations helped us help over 3,100 patients in 2008 with over RM9.1 million in the form of Financial Aid, medical equipment & treatment. Without continuous flow of funds we are challenges to help the cancer patients & their families.
Please contact us for any of the above mode of donation

Sekiranya tiada wang tetapi ada masa dan tenaga, boleh juga menjadi sukarelawan mereka. Klik link di website mereka.

Alfatihah untuk Kak Dalilah.

Akhirnya The Independent...

2010-07-11T10:50:00.000+01:00

4 hari lepas akhbar The Independent telah menyiarkan cerita muka depan tentang Israel yang mencuri tanah rakyat Palestin di Tebing Barat. Syabas The Independent. Ia sesuatu yang sepatutnya dilaporkan sudah lama dahulu. Adakah kematian para aktivis Mavi Marmara berjaya menimbulkan keberanian wartawan Barat untuk berkata benar?

42% tanah Tebing Barat diduduki Israel si perampas tanah

Tetapi menghalau mereka bukan mudah. Kerana mereka menduduki kawasan itu atas alasan agama dan kerana mereka percaya itu yang Nabi Musa alaihissalam mahukan. Jika mereka dihalau, mungkin mereka juga akan mula menjadi pengebom berani mati.

Supplement vs Whole Foods

2010-07-08T11:10:00.002+01:00

A comment from MIO on my previous entry- The Irony of the Medical Profession

"hmm. lagi satu yg smpai sekarang sy masih ragu2 - org kata, lebih baik ambil supplement sebab walau macam mana seimbang pun makanan yg kita ambik, mungkin makanan tu hilang zat sebab overcooked dsb. but you know me - paling besar ubat yg pernah ditelan pun ialah folic acid (yg dimakan dgn penuh susah payah), jadi redha aje la dengan pemakanan seimbang - nak senang, makan aje ulam dah sah2 takde risiko overcooked"

(adakah blog ini telah menjadi ruangan soal jawab bersama doktor kesayangan anda? :P)

Firstly, I would like to disclose that what I am going to write are what I gathered from reading various sources of materials including textbooks, articles and published papers. I am not a nutritionist, and I have never had a nutritionist guru to guide me. So please read with a critical mind as these are my understandings from my reading only. Perhaps if you are a nutritionist or a food scientist yourself, you can leave a comment and correct me. Thank you. May Allah protects us from false knowledge.

If you still remember your science or Alam dan Manusia subjects in school, we all learned that nutrients are categorized into 5 major groups namely carbohydrates, proteins, fats, minerals/vitamins and fibers. The minerals/vitamins group are highly unstable chemicals that there is a risk of losing it due to overcooking, like MIO had rightly pointed out. Hence the market is overflowing with vitamins and minerals tablets to ensure that we get enough of our recommended daily allowance.

I am not going to write about why we should not take the supplements, because I don't have enough evidence to say that they are bad for health. Not because of the vitamins but of the other compounds added to make the tablets have long shelf life (tahan lama), easily absorbed and stable in the acidic environment of the stomach. Instead, I am going to focus on why we should eat the fruits / vegetables that supply the vitamins themselves.

The scientists have now found that there are more than just the 5 groups of nutrients. There are now 2 more- antioxidants and phytochemicals. This knowledge has been around since probably 1950s, but somehow it is not given any weight it deserves. I suspect this has much to do with the billion dollars worth of pharmaceutical industry---> (OK ni ada unsur2 fitnah, tak pasti kebenarannya).

I am sure you have heard a lot about antioxidants- it is a chemical in foods that help remove reactive free radicals from our cells. Free radicals if accumulated leads to aging and a series of diseases associated with aging (cancer, heart disease, arthritis, alzheimers). Researchers found that by giving antioxidants to animal specimens in laboratories increase their life span (umur lebih panjang). Does this hold true for humans? Wallahualam.

Phytochemicals are chemicals in plants that help the plants to defend themselves against threats / diseases. For animals, the response to threats are running / change colours to camouflage / venoms or stings but plants can't do all these, so they produce the phytochemicals to help defend themselves.

We all learned that the vitamins strengthen our immune cells to fight diseases, but it is now found that these phytochemicals fight germs and cancer cells themselves in our bodies. They are the God-given medicine, readily available in foods (Subhanallah!).

The names of these phytochemicals are very alien to us. You can see the list here (with the food examples). To name a few of these chemicals- flavanoids, ellagic acid, allicin, beta carotene.......the list goes on. There are a few that has been proven to attack and kill cancer cells directly (amazing, isn't it?) so the knowledge of this will help you choose which fruit or vegetable that you want to consume more. This practice is now termed 'nutraceuticals' (as opposed to pharmaceuticals). I've only been reading about those that help to kill cancer cells but I'm sure different phytochemicals work for other diseases too. (now can you hear your grandma's voice telling you- makan ni, baik nak buang angin / elok untuk peranakan etc? ---yeah you are right Opah.. sob sob menyesal tak pay attention. AlFatihah untuk Opah).

Phytochemicals are also found in abundance in spices. That is why traditional Asian and Mediterranean cuisine are protective of many diseases, as opposed to Western cuisine that is rich in meat and poultry.

Now you see that in a single fruit or a single vegetable leaf contains vitamins, antioxidants, phytochemicals and various other minerals, why would you choose a pill of vitamin C, or B, or folate, or iron, or calcium? How many pills do you have to consume to give you the same health benefits an orange or carrot can give you?

Besides, eating the whole fruit or leaves will provide you fibers, to help you pass motion easily. Fibers also helps delay sugar absorption (how fast sugar is absorbed and the body's response to it also plays a role in cancer development). And it satisfy your hunger, of course.

It is now recommended that we take at least 5 portions of fruits or vegetables a day to stay healthy. (An apple or an orange is a portion, 10 strawberries are a portion etc). It is not easy. On good days I usually only achieve 4 portions (veges for lunch and dinner and 2 fruits). But one day I will get there. The most important thing is to start.

80g of strawberries (about 8-10, depending on sizes) provide you one portion of your 5-a-day

Another way to achieve the 5 portions is to drink fresh juice. No sugar added of course. And it is better to drink whole juice (meaning you crush the whole carrot or orange or apple) not just the concentrate (perahan).This is because some nutrients are in the seeds or the inner rind. For example, the white rind of an orange (or any citrus fruits eg lemon, grapefruit, pomelo) contains quercetin- a natural anti-cancer agent that makes cancer cells commit suicide (apoptosis-remember, I wrote about this earlier here). So the next time you eat outside, choose a fresh juice drink with no sugar instead of soft drinks.

Overcooked vegetables?

Yes this is a major concern in preparing nutritious food. It is recommended that we eat them raw (ulam) but certain vegetables are not palatable to be eaten raw (to me at least) eg cabbage, broccoli. It is best to stir fry them quickly (with very little water if you must add) or steam them. Making them into soups are not advisable. The nutrients are highly unstable. What do we do? Making it into kerabu is a good way to eat them. I will share the kerabu tomato recipe later. But don't forget to say a prayer before cooking them, asking Allah to preserve the nutrients in the food so that they become medicine to us. :) Leave everything in His hands. He Knows Best.

Organic or non-organic?

Organic fruits / vegetables means no pesticide is used in growing them. Is it important? Yes, definitely. Experiments on urine of children eating non-organic fruits/veges showed significant high concentration of pesticides in their urine compared to children eating organic. These pesticides although very minimal and are removed from our body via kidneys and liver, surely prolonged and continuous exposure of it to our cells will eventually damage and 'exhaust' our cells.

There is a theory that if phytochemicals help plants defend themselves, then the use of pesticides will lower the phytochemical contents of the plants. However this is still a theory, not proven yet. But I think this is a sound argument. If this is true, then we have 2 valid reasons to only eat organic fruits/veges- no pesticides and higher phytochemical contents.

However there are downsides of eating organic. They are expensive! sigh..... It costs double to purchase them. And they are not bigger or taste nicer either. This is when you say "Money can buy you health" (provided you are not sick yet).

But what is the price of our kidneys? liver? our joints? Buying organic is an important investment of our money.... for health and longevity (after zakat and charity for eternal safety). Is it more important than any branded designer's items? (am asking myself.. :P)

But don't use the excuse of unable to afford organics deter you from eating more fruits/veges.Wash them thoroughly and peel the skin (pesticides cling mostly to the skin).

Who need supplements?

There are a number of people who must take supplements because they have increase demand of a particular nutrient, or their body has problems absorbing them. They are:

1. Pregnant mothers- must take folate, iron and calcium supplements. Although for normal pregnancies it is usually enough to just get these from food, for many mothers they require additional supplements because they cannot eat more food due to excessive vomiting and nausea, or poor spacing between births (tiap2 tahun beranak) because their bodies have no time to recover. Supplements also needed for vegetarians (in Malaysia usually Indian mothers) and poor mothers (yang hanya mampu makan nasi dan ikan kering je).

2. People with kidney failures- they require Vit D and calcium supplements.

3. Babies who exclusively breastfeed after 6 months- requires iron supplements.

4. People with various metabolic diseases or malabsorption syndrome.

aaahh..can't think of anything else. Anything the readers want to add, feel free to do so.

So MIO, who told you that it is better to take supplements? Are they the people who sell the supplements? If only the fruits and veges vendors knew what they sell are precious gems...

Gotta eat an apple now.

The Irony of the Medical Profession.

2010-07-04T16:41:00.002+01:00

What did I learn in medical school?

In the first year, we studied human anatomy, physiology and biochemistry. Layman term- how the body works. Every nerve and vein, cells and molecules, fluids and solids. (had to repeat my biochemistry paper..really could not retain all the pathways of fats, proteins, the coagulation cascade, bla bla 1000x). And still, quoting Prof. Sir David Weatherall, FRS (Regius Professor of Medicine, Univ of Oxford, UK);

"We know so little about how the body works.."

In the second year, we studied pathology, pharmacology, parasitology, microbiology.. or in short, what can go wrong with the body. Did we manage to cover all? We will never. We only could concentrate on the common ones. Often as doctors we would stumble on some bizarre illness that we know nothing about, when whatever we do, the truth won't reveal itself. Those times we would just guess (and pray!).

Then year 3 to 5 we entered the clinical world, where we started to touch strangers whom we called patients, and tried to get a glimpse of what our future might be like. We busied ourselves to see as much as we could, read more than the doctors think we did, and chased cases :D. (yes, come with something unusual and we would be hovering over you). We waited for mothers to break their waters and we would tail them until we can pull that screaming head out of you know where. We feed babies through tubes.We listened to manic and paranoid chatters in the psychiatric wards. We frequented the morgue, secretly hoping there would be a body waiting for us inside.

Then in a flash that seemed like forever, we graduated and started working. The first few years we spent learning to do procedures, to recognize subtleties, to work like zombies after sleepless nights, to handle colleagues, and to kowtow Bosses.

What do we do when we see healthy people?

We do nothing. We dismiss them. We gladly shoo them away.

(What happen next in the course of a doctor's career is unknown to me, because that was where I stopped. Remind me to write about it again in a few years).

So while we doctors know a lot about diseases, we know little about health. That's the irony of the medical profession.

We concentrate more on the diseases, how to recognize them, how to relieve them, how to straightened bones, how to sew wounds. If an artery is blocked, we unblock it and pray it won't get blocked again. If we found stones, we crush them or remove them. If we found tumours, we cut them, burn them or poison them.

As a result, the doctors know more about the Don'ts than Dos....

-Don't smoke. You will get cancer everywhere.
-Don't bend down when lifting heavy things. You will snap you back.
-Don't eat too much fried food. Your waist will double.
-Don't have unprotected sex. (If protected we don't care).
-Don't play with fireworks (If you end up in the emergency dept during my shift on the eve of AidilFitri, I'll kill you myself)

What about the Dos? We leave that to dietitian, physiotherapist, acupuncturist, herbalist etc...

Imagine our body is a town, and the brain is the Mayor, the organs are the government agencies, the bones and skin are the buildings and the immune system is the police force, who is a doctor to this town?

We doctors are just the handyman, the plumbers. You have a leak, you call us. You have a broken window, you call us. But the Mayor is still you. And the life of the town depends on you.

Try say this to a doctor..

You : Doc, I don't want your medicine. I will try to detoxify myself and eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. I will meditate and zikr more. InsyaAllah the disease will go away.
Doc : Trust me (a professional bully)! Without treatment you will die in a year (offering statistics). I have seen many people suffer with illness like yours (my experience matters more than your knowledge of your body, and your feelings).

Or..

You : Doc, what do you suggest I do so that the illness won't come back again?
Doc : Do what you please. Live your life to the fullest. Come back for check up in 6 months. (the truth is I don't really know. And your time is up. Next patient please!)

What we doctors know about nutrition?

My knowledge of nutrition is limited to:
a) The food pyramid (carbohydrate at the base, fats at the top etc).
b) Fat is bad. Reduce fat intake if you have heart disease.
c) Sugar is bad. Reduce sugar if you have diabetes.
d) Salt is bad. Reduce salt if you have hypertension.
e) Eat more fruits and veges. (What is suitable for a disease and what is not- I don't know).
f) Eat more fiber if you are constipated.
g) Drink 2 liters of water a day.
h) Avoid red meat, seafood and beans if you have high uric acid.

I only remember one or two lectures about nutrition during our student years. There was no emphasize on nutrition in our studies. Even though for thousands of years nutrition is a MAJOR part of health.

"Healthy eating is a timeless science, researched for thousands of years in different civilizations but surprisingly neglected this century. Nutritionally aware physicians are few and far between, especially when it comes to factors such as the subtle energies of living plants and plant enzymes."
(Dr.Carruthers, MRCPath, MD, MRCGP in the foreword of Leslie Kenton's book, Raw Energy)

Don't rely too much on your doctors about your health. Don't let the doctors bully you because of your ignorance and their arrogance. Take charge of your own body. Ask more. Ask around. Eat healthy. Eat fresh.

Happy birthday Mama..

2010-06-30T20:25:00.000+01:00

Hari ini harijadi Mak saya :D

Baju serupa

Semoga Mama diberkati Allah selalu.

God made a wonderful Mother
A Mother who doesn't grow old.
He made her a smile of sunshine,
And a heart of pure gold.
In her cheeks he placed fair roses,
in her eyes, stars that shine.
God made a wonderful Mother,
And that wonderful Mother is mine.

-source-