Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Cool Boys Super Sons

Borrowed this book from Mynie (thank you!!!!) and would like to share some tips that I think are very important.

Tips no 1: Focus on EFFORT

We know boys can sometimes be overconfident on their abilities and hence we usually see them feeling satisfied with less work / revision as compared to girls (girls tend to be more hardworking). So the author (Jamilah Samian, mother of 5 boys and 1 girl) suggested that when we praise boys, we focus on their efforts, rather than abilities. Eg. if they do well in exams / projects, say

"All that revising pays, isn't it?" rather than "Clever boy! I know it's in you!"
"I can tell that you have been paying attention in class" rather than "Lucky you to be born smart!"

Tips no 2: Boys need high expectations

Boys love challenges. So they are more motivated to do well to meet their parents' expectations rather than to get rewards. Help your son to develop a vision of who he wants to be. Consistently place your son in an environment where he is challenged to do better. And aim for small breakthroughs that will give him a steady sense of achievement.

Tips no 3: Accept them as they are, and turn their weaknesses into strengths.

Whatever character your son is born with, look at it as his strength. Eg if he is talkative, take time to develop his contents of speech and flow of thoughts so he can be a good public speaker. If he is stubborn, he is not easily influenced by others, which is a good quality of a leader. Guide him in decision making and critical thinking to prepare him to be a leader!


Al-Manar said...

I think you are being modest. You do not need this book to write this posting. I am very certain you have learnt about all this psychology staff en rouite to be a doctor, right? Of course, at times, we all need to be reminded. Itulah 'tazkirah', kan?

Mamaboyz said...

Pakcik, sebenarnya tidak. When we were in medical school, emphasis was given to physiology, diseases and treatments. No proper psychology teachings. When we studied psychiatry, we concentrated on mental illness. I like to read parenting books because they give me ideas how to handle my children. Many people think that parenting knowledge is something we are born with (because even animals seem to know how), but to handle today's young generation is no joke.