Thursday, 29 October 2009

2 years...

Today marked the full 2 years we are here. In these 2 years we have never been back to Malaysia, unlike many of our friends. Last year I was working full time, and this year, well, first part of the year I was pregnant with Abid and now Papaboyz is busier with his work, exam coming, conference etc.

Doesn't feel like 2 years have gone....

I must say for the time being this is less than ideal for my career. Many of my friends have begun their masters (to become specialists) and by the time I were to start working again many would be my bosses. But if I were to live till 88 (my grandmother's age now) and assuming I will work till age 65, I know this gap years won't make a dent at all to my glorious career (berangan nak menyedapkan hati).

I am grateful that I had the opportunity to work in the NHS (National Health Service) here and I could see the lacks in our own Kementerian Kesihatan. Their patient database is very2 advanced that it is research-friendly, which is very important for the future of medicine. I promised a friend that I will write about my working experience here..err soon ok..(tunggu mood datang).

And as for my boys, I'm glad that I'm staying at home now. I imagine that I will never be able to get to know them if I were still working. At least we have a good start together. I'm happy that they learn the basics directly from me. With these strong roots and foundation, I hope they will grow beautifully and 'fruitfully', and whatever happens that will sway them away they will be strong enough to keep their feet on the right path.

For the time being I will just enjoy the unlimited cheap books and cheap fruits (dalam hati- and cheap chocolates) and time to blog and baking and baby talk (things doctors don't do).

And I thank Allah for putting me within walking distance to the fantastic super efficient library.

p/s if we can get a beautiful autumn shot I will share with you people (time to change the red-orange spring tulips header)

Friday, 23 October 2009

To Nick Griffin...

A note to Nick Griffin (British National Party leader)


I watched your debate on BBC's Question Time last night.

You said Islam is vicious and wicked. You said Islam second-rate women. You said this based on 'what's written in the Quran'.

So you have read the whole Holy Quran, haven't you?

But clearly you have missed that Islam has given the rights of divorce and inheritance to the women many hundred years before any western civilizations do.

And what do you call the culture of using women as sex symbols in everything that can be shown on tv? Doesn't that second-rate women? Putting women at its lowest?

Oh! I forgot. That's freedom of expression.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Trust Me, I'm A junior Doctor

This book is written by Max Pemberton, when he was a junior doctor (or aka houseman/ house officer/ intern). He is now a psychiatrist-in training and also a columnist with the Daily Telegraph.

Well, this book answered my question- the crazy hellish life of a junior doctor, is it just in Malaysia or is it a global phenomenon? Reading Max was like reading my own diary (which I never wrote). Although now the condition here must have got better since the implementation of European Working Time Directive where working hours and on call requirements have been reduced.

Max described it well. It is a life of either you are working, or you are recovering from working, so that you are able to work the next day (but come to think of it, what work doesn't?).

And the constant feeling of 'I should leave medicine forever' or 'I want to quit now' every time you were scolded by your consultant (in front of the whole team) or a patient you cared for died or when you received abusive words from the patient's families (quite commonly the 'goverment sector' sentiment will be brought up).

But frankly, I never had the thought of quitting or leaving medicine forever, but I did have the occasional feelings of 'I just want to go home now' or 'can I faint now?'. Actually it was quite reasonable for me to faint because I was pregnant with Adam that time. Tapi korang tau lah, aku bukan drama queen kan..

And this is my favourite part of the book, on how we medical personnel detach ourselves from feelings, because to us everything has an explanation.....

Mr Farley has had dementia for the past ten years. His wife has looked after him for all that time, day in, day out. And now his kidneys and heart have stopped working properly. Medicine has decided to bow out gracefully and admit defeat. There's nothing that can be done. He and his wife are in their eighties. How she's coped on her own all this time is beyond me. His eyes are shut and his mouth wide open.

"It's all right darling, I'm here" says Mrs Farley.

No response. She looks a little crestfallen. She gently strokes his cheek while talking to him, and he moves his head towards her.

"Look, Doctor, he still knows who I am," she says to the doctors lined up at the foot of the bed.

But everyone looked slightly embarrassed and Dr Pike says gently, "We're very sorry, there's nothing more we can do. I think it's for the best."

Everyone quietly moves on.

Back in the office I accost Barney, my senior. "But he recognizes his wife, that's incredible, isn't it?" I say.

Barney frowns. "Oh that, no, of course he doesn't recognize her."

I'm perplexed.

"It's rooting reflex," Barney explains. "He's got advanced dementia. He hasn't a clue what's going on."

What this means is that the movement Mrs Farley thinks is her husband recognizing her voice is, in fact, a mere reflex. Anyone or anything touching his cheek would induce the same response.

I feel somehow cheated. I think I prefer Mrs Farley's explanation. Medicine can be cruel like this. It reduces things to neural pathways, to reflexes, to physiological mechanisms. It removes the mystery and wonder from things. Mrs Farley doesn't want to live in a world where her husband has primitive rooting reflex. She wants to live in a world where her husband recognizes her voice.


And look what my mother bought me as souvenir from Amsterdam...

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Super Mousse Chocolate Cake

Kelmarin kan birthday Papaboyz, jadi buatla kek ni.. pastu bila Papaboyz letak gambar kat facebook ada orang tanya resipi...jadi ni nak bagitau lah macam mana nak buat dia..

Nama je super mousse tapi bukan mousse pun, sebab kalau mousse kan tengok dalam buku Nigella tu 'How To Be A Domestic Goddess' tak ada tepung, pastu dia bakar secara bain marie (dalam waterbath). Tapi kek ni memang sedapla, sama je macam moist chocolate cake tapi dia 'ringan' sikit tekstur dia, tak padat sangat. Pastu topping dia tu memang super marvelous, memang hantu2 cokelat mesti jatuh cinta punyalah. Kalau rajin buat 2 biji kek ni pastu topping buat lebih untuk sapu antara dua biji kek tu, hah baru kalah Secret Recipe.

Resipi ni adalah dari Staff Nurse Hamidah, dapat masa saya kerja d Hospital J dulu.

Bahan A
150ml air suam
30g serbuk koko
1 sudu teh vanilla

Bahan B
3 biji telur
250g gula castor
170g butter
175g tepung gandum
1 sk baking powder
1 sk soda bikarbonat

Bancuh A dan simpan dalam peti ais lebih kurang 20 minit
Pukul butter dan gula sampai kembang.
Masuk telur satu2 dan pukul lagi.
Masuk tepung dan baking powder dan soda bikarbonat.
Kacau kaup dan masuk bahan A.
Bakar dalam oven 180deg selama 45 minit.

Pastu nak buat topping pulak...

2 biji kuning telur
150g gula
i sk vanilla
125ml air suam
50g tepung jagung
25g koko
garam sikit je
50g butter
100g cream cheese

Campur semua kecuali butter dan cream cheese
Masak guna api kecik sampai pekat
Masuk mixing bowl dan beat
Pastu campur butter dan cream cheese dan beat high speed

Pastu bolehla sapu dan hias suka hati. Saya ambil Cadbury Dairy Milk dan grate saja. Yang love tu ialah cornflake yang terpaksa dipakai sebab lupa yang cake sprinkles dan kacang almond dah expired. Tapi pakai cornflake ni idea tak bijakla sebab keesokan harinya dia jadi lemau jadi makan tak sedap. Kalau pakai ceri atau biji kopi lagi cantik, ya puan-puan...

Untuk birthday Papanya Adam tulis kad sendiri, Mama tolong eja je, kata2 semua dia karang (ok fine, Mama ada bagi idea sikit), pastu Ammar lukis 'circle, two oeyes, two oeyes, big nose and smiiiiiile' dan Abid kena la Mama yang lukis...

So Papaboyz pada umur 29 ada 3 hero..hopefully bila umur 30 Papaboyz is Dr Papaboyz ok.. :))

Sunday, 18 October 2009

Birthday Wish...

It's Papaboyz's birthday today....

You remember when we met-
we clicked, just like that.

And ever since then, we’ve been finding
more reasons to fall in love all over again.

Like the way we bring our best in each other,
the way we can both grin at the silliest things
and have the same quirky ideas.

Or the way we can talk about anything
and be entertained just by being together.

With you and me, even the ordinary, must-do
parts of life can turn out to be fun.

And on those days when it’s sometimes hard to smile,
we stick together – because that’s what we do.

We’re a team, two souls, one love,
and a history between us
that only gets better and better.

Marrying you was the best decision I ever made
And I’m sure of it, because you make
every part of loving you wonderful.

Source: Ustaz Hasrizal (

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Enough of Nobel-ist.

I wonder why they were chosen. The Nobel Laureates. So I tried to read one. I don't remember his name. He was from China. But it was beyond comprehension. I simply couldn't enjoy his book. I can't even understand the storyline.

Then I tried Naguib Mahfouz. Saw lots of glowing reviews about his works.

He was the only Arabic-language writer to have won the Nobel Prize in Literature (1988), was on Ayatollah Khomeini's death list (alongside Salman Rushdie), survived assassination attempts, and continue to write even though nearly blind in his old age, so I decided in my life time I must at least read one of his work. I borrowed 2 of his books from the library. One was a compilation of 3 novels (The beggar, The thief and the dogs, and Autumn quail) and another is a compilation of short stories The Time and The Place.

I only read The Beggar, and The Thief and The Dogs and a few short stories.

Errr...honestly I don't remember much about the stories. The language makes it difficult to engage. But I noticed that N. Mahfouz has the ability to bring you to another scene without you consciously noticing it (difficult to explain this). And he likes to do that more than once in a page. And I don't like his endings. I need clear happy or sad end to a story, but his are almost abstract. His sentences are beautifully composed that it's difficult to concentrate. He's obviously the Mozart of Literature (exclusively enjoyed by the people of his likes only).

Clearly not my cup of tea. But he won Nobel Prize.

I'm simple. I will stick to mysteries/action thriller, memoirs and bizarre romance.

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Saya, Facebook dan Masyarakat Penghukum

Social network saya yang pertama ialah Friendster. Saya ada blog dan ruangan book review di situ. Tapi Friendster tu banyak masalahnya. Kadang2 upload sangat lembab. Lepas tu banyak spam lucah. Jadi bila satu hari Papaboyz invite saya join facebook, saya pun join.

Facebook dan rakan-rakan

Mesti semua setuju yang yang paling mengujakan tentang facebook ialah pertemuan kembali rakan2 sekolah dan universiti dulu. Ia mengembalikan kenangan terindah waktu remaja. Sekarang bolehla kita dapat berita yang si A telah pun melahirkan anak sulungnya pada hari yg sama bayi itu lahir.

Bagi saya yang surirumah ini pula, tiada istilah bosan, sebab beratus2 kawan di depan mata.

Dan seperti saya yg jauh dari keluarga ini, perkembangan terbaru anak2 buah dapat diikuti segera, hari baby Ainaa (yang belum pernah saya temui) tumbuh gigi dan pandai main masak2, hari tu juga saya tau dan bagi feedback! Tak payahla kumpul semua dan bila ckp telefon seminggu sekali baru dpt tahu. Dan biasanya perkara kecil macam ni tak sempat nak diceritakan pun dalam telefon.

Facebook dan Perbincangan/Berita Terkini

Seperti gempa bumi di Sumatera baru2 ini, beberapa minit selepas gegaran dirasai di Malaysia terus beberapa kawan saya mewarwarkan yang terasa gegaran. Ketika itu belum lagi ada berita rasmi tentang gempa.

Ada juga yang membuka perbincangan dengan berkongsi link berita2 menarik. Besok puasa atau besok raya pun senang nak tahu. Yang kemukakan masalah seperti "macammana nak buat kalau anak asyik nangis dalam carseat?" terus dapat tips2 dari kawan2 yg berpengalaman.

Facebook dan Doktor-doktor

Haa ni memang satu penyakit heheh. Boleh tau siapa yang on call, siapa baru buat pembedahan, siapa buat locum, siapa kerja syif malam. Masa H1N1 tengah memuncak, banyaklah status2 mengeluh cuti dibekukan, wad penuh, rimas dgn topeng muka, swab tekak sendiri yang positif dan sebagainya.

Yang tak tahan tu bila ada yang mengadu "hari ni kat klinik satu patient tu cakap kat muka aku- dulu makcik pun gemuk macam doktor- sabar je lah" :))

Dan hari ini seorang lagi menulis "I'm one happy gas woman!" jangan salah sangka, dia bekerja di Jabatan Anesthesia, dan cuma meluahkan kegembiraan dia bekerja heheh

Facebook dan Wall Post Menarik

Walaupun kebanyakan wall post hanyalah sekadar luahan rasa "aarrgh it's monday again" , "yeay it's friday!" ataupun apakah menu buka puasa hari ini, ada juga yang menggelikan hati di pagi hari seperti:

"apa hukum membela khinzir di Farmville?" (NH)

"bila buka buku je terus ngantuk tapi buka buku yg ada muka ni tak ngantuk pulak" (ZBZ)

"tgh sidai kain tadi sekali tuh beruk melintas..... i was literally terkejut beruk...sib baik tak mengandung weii" (AMI)

Banyak juga kata2 hikmat..

"There comes a point in your life when you realize: Who matters, who never did,who won't anymore and who always will.So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future..." (KLA)

"men are totally from Mars" (AJ)---> heheh if this is true then I'm the alien in my house...

"hot and spicy everyday keeps the doctor away" (NAD) ---> err ni sukar dipersetujui..

Saya memang suka beri respon kepada wallpost kawan2 saya. Bukan sebab saya suka menyibuk, but simply because I believe everybody wants to be heard. (kalau tak, baik ckp dlm hati kan)

Facebook dan Masyarakat Penghukum

OK, ini memang sebab sebenar saya tulis entri ini. Beberapa hari lepas kawan saya menulis wallpost berbunyi "anda sedang memandu kereta apabila seorang remaja bermotosikal di hdpn anda mlakukan aksi bdiri di atas motor..tetiba dia terjatuh dan cedera..apa yang akan anda lakukan?"

Dalam masa sejam telah terdpt beberapa komen. Ada yg kata padan muka. Ada yg kata gelakkan dia. Ada kata pandu terus sebelum jln sesak. Ada kata kalau dia menangis baru tolong dia. Ada kata biar dia kojol. Ada seorang yg kata "kejamnya korang".

Saya tidak dapat mengawal tangan saya yang gatal. Saya pun tulis yg saya terkejut dgn komen2 di atas.

Ada pulak yg menjawab "itu pengajaran utk org yg suka menyusahkan org lain. Itu baru sikit". Ada yang menyokong jawapan itu.

Saya tahu saya bukanla sebaik2 manusia. Tapi kalau perhatikan pertanyaan kawan saya itu, ia menunjukkan yang anda adalah orang pertama yang nampak dia jatuh. Ini melibatkan split second decision. Sama ada anda berhenti tolong atau tidak.

Yang saya risaukan ialah apabila kita begitu cepat menghukum, ia akan mempengaruhi course of action kita.

Memang itu balasan untuk budak tu. Tapi hakikat yg ia berlaku di depan mata kita (bukan depan orang lain) adalah ujian untuk kita. Pada hari apabila kita akan ditanya kenapa kita membiarkan budak itu, apa jawapan kita? Siapa pula yang akan menolong kita ketika itu?

Baiklah, saya takkan membebel saja. Ini saya beri panduan jika anda terlibat dalam situasi ini. (Ini rekaan saya saja, bukan dari mana2 protokol, siapa sudi boleh tambah).

1. Berhenti di tempat selamat.
2. Pastikan mangsa di tempat selamat eg divert the traffic, tak pasal kena gilis pulak nanti.
3. Panggil mangsa. Kalau dia ok, boleh bangun semua, oklah. Tapi kalau tak sedarkan diri, berlumuran darah dan sebagainya, panggil lah ambulans.
4. Jangan cuba alihkan mangsa. Yang terlatih saja boleh alihkan sebab takut menerukkan lagi kerosakan saraf jika ada kecederaan saraf tunjang.
5. Kalau ada pendarahan cuba tekapkan pendarahan tu untuk mengurangkan kehilangan darah. Ini tindakan yg sangat berharga. Boleh menyelamatkan nyawa dan kalau tak buat boleh menyebabkan kehilangan nyawa.

Saya rasa itu lah lebih kurang yg boleh dibuat oleh orang awam sebagai first responder. Bukannya biar saja atau gelakkan atau lari sebab takut sesak lalulintas. Sekurang2nya kalau orang itu nazak kita boleh ajar dia mengucap syahadah, betul tak? Adakah nanti jika kita mati kita mahu keseorangan melawan bisikan syaitan?

Sama ada itu balasan dia atau tidak bukan urusan kita.

Maaf sesiapa tersinggung.

Friday, 2 October 2009

London, Insiden Di Depan Batu Rosetta dan Berada di Timur dan Barat Pada Masa Yang Sama

Sebenarnya ini cerita dah lama. Sebelum puasa lagi. Kitorang turun ke London atas urusan menjadikan Abid warganegara Malaysia dan membuat passport Abid. Juga sebab masa tu dah dekat nak puasa jadi termasuk juga aktiviti makan2 sebelum puasa :))

Kami menginap di Hotel Ibis yang betul2 depan stesen keretapi dan berdekatan dgn Stadium Wembley.

Stadium Wembley dari tingkap hotel..

Abid bersantai sambil main air liur

Lepas check in apalagi kitorang pun memulakan sesi jalan2 cari makan. First destination-- KFC! :))

Beberapa bulan lepas KFC UK memulakan operasi menghalalkan 8 premisnya di London. Kitorang pun tak melepaskan peluang. 1 bucket nyumnyum!

Boy to boy talk...

Hehehe 2 tahun tak makan kfc...

(ooo..ini lah kfc yg mama selalu sebut masa ngandung Abid)

Kekenyangan lepas melantak kfc..

Lepas tu bersiar2 di tebing Sungai Thames disimbahi cahaya neon dan kerlipan bintang. (Konon2 romantik tapi dgn 3 bodyguard).

Besoknya kami ke Malaysian High Commission untuk buat surat beranak dan passport Abid. Semua naik tube.

Lepas selesai urusan rasmi, kami pun ke Malaysian Hall... untuk makan2 lagi hehehe

Kali ni pekena ABC dgn laksa dan macam2 lauk, keropok lekor, mi goreng mamak dan roti canai. Kenyangnyer Alhamdulillah. Kitorang yang paling lama duduk kat situ. Meja2 lain semua dah berganti orang.

Lepas tu pergi main2 kejap di Kensington Park...

Kemudian ke British Museum....

Adam kepenatan sampai tertido dlm museum..

Ada satu bahagian tu mempamerkan ancient Egypt (selepas dikorek2 di tapak arkeologi dibawa ke sini)

Inilah Batu Rosetta. Ingat tak ada dlm buku sejarah Tingkatan 4? Batu ni ditulis pada 196 BC dan mengandungi terjemahan tulisan higrolif Mesir dalam bahasa Greek.

Jadi apa insidennya? Waktu itu saya sangkut dan lilit handbag pada stroller (rasa dah susah tu kalau nak snatch). Papaboyz sibuk ambik gambar. Saya berada lebih kurang sehasta dari stroller. Tiba2 saya rasa dikerumuni. Mula2 tak syak apa2 sebab agak ramai juga org sedang tgk batu ni. Tapi saya jelingla handbag tu.

Ya Allah. Ada tangan dalam handbag saya!

Fisiologi badan yang Tuhan cipta memang hebat. Terus otak saya register keadaan kecemasan ini. Saya tak jerit ok. Ini emergency mode saya yang diam tapi pantas. Cewwaah! Saya berjln setapak dan pegang tangan tersebut.

Tiba2 org2 yg berkerumun dekat saya tadi bersurai (mungkin 2-3 org). Saya syak mungkin mereka ni tukang cover tuan punya tangan. Saya mengangkat muka.

Nak tau tak.. yang menyeluk handbag saya ialah seorang wanita bertudung. Mungkin dari timur tengah atau kacukan kawasan2 disekitar. Tapi bukan Asian atau Minah Salleh.

Dia terus berkata " oo is it your bag? i just want to put a flyer in"....pandaila kau..

Saya masih memegang tangannya. Mesti agak kuat sebab dia cuba tarik tapi tak lepas hehehe. Dengan sebelah lagi tangan (jgn lupa saya sedang mengendong Abid) saya periksa kandungan handbag. Nasib baik dompet dan PDA-phone masih ada. Itu je yg penting. Saya rasa mungkin barang2 lain yg menyemakkan handbag saya spt pampers Ammar dan Abid, baby wipes, buku, cereal bar Adam etc etc yang telah melambatkan misi perempuan tadi. Saya periksa juga kalau2 dia masukkan dadah dalam beg saya. Mana tau kan. Saya keluarkan dompet dan periksa semua duit dan kad kredit. Ada. Gambar honeymoon kedua dgn Papaboyz di Paris- ada .(Sempat lagi tu).

Kemudian saya lepaskan dia. Tanpa sepatah kata. Sebab saya pun masih terperanjat. Tak sempatla nak bagi ceramah atau tarik tudung dia kan. Tak apa. Harap dia tersedar dan bertaubat lepas ni.

Mungkin anda tertanya2 apa Papaboyz buat ketika itu. Dia dah ambil gambar Batu Rosetta tu dia berpusing ke arah kami. Dia pelik, 'eh, kenapa bini aku yang sgt comel tu sedang selongkar handbag, sambil memegang tangan pompuan tu? ooo mungkin pompuan tu nak mintak derma. Tapi kenapa muka macam nak marah je? kena paksa bagi derma ke?'.. itulah yang bermain2 di fikiran Papaboyz.

Bila saya lepaskan perempuan itu baru Papaboyz tanya apa berlaku.

Alhamdulillah semua selamat. Kalau kad kredit atau ic hilang memang la banyak masalahnya.

Esoknya kami check out dan pergi makan2 di Malaysian Hall sekali lagi hehehe. Kemudian kami ke Greenwich Park dimana letaknya garisan longitud meridian 0 darjah (Prime Meridian).

Di situ terdapat juga Royal Observatory Greenwich dan Astronomy Centre.

Tapi malangnya hujan turun lebat jadi kami tak sempat bergambar di Garis Prime Meridian yang membahagikan dunia kepada timur dan barat itu. Sempat langkah saja garisan itu.

Ya saya telah pun berdiri di atas garisan yang memisahkan hemisfera dunia, jadi secara teknikalnya saya telah berada di timur dan barat pada satu masa :)) aci?

12 tahun lalu semasa saya belajar geografi untuk spm adakah saya pernah terfikir akan berpeluang melintas garisan itu? Tidak sama sekali. Rancangan Allah siapa yang tahu.