Longing...

It has been nearly 1 year and 4 months since we left Malaysia...

What do I miss most?

Apart from my parents and siblings and friends..

No, I'm changing the question; what do I miss but never suspected I would before coming here? (panjangla pulak soalan)

I think I miss the sun the most....
I miss the light, heat and the brightness it brings
With only average of 4 hours of sunshine a day here, it's a bit gloomy..
(although there is light but there is no sunshine-macam masa petang je)
maybe that's why a lot of people here are depressed (just an assumption, not backed by statistics)
and I miss other things that are related to the presence of the sun
like the predictability of time and the sense of stability it gives...
like you know when you have to pray without looking at a timetable that changes everyday (and differs between mazhab too)
and you can arrange your activities equally, night and day
and you can just roughly guess what is the time then without looking at the watch..
also the warmth...so that you enjoy your shower..twice or 3 times a day
(not just shower, I even dread washing the dishes here)
and I miss being able to just step out of the door in the same clothing I wear inside, without having to think whether I am adequately dressed for the weather or not.. (and I miss wearing kaftan :D )

and I miss Malaysian nights....
eating out in a warung at night (maybe satay or sup ekor or ikan bakar)
or driving at night with the windows down..
or just looking out of the window at night staring at the stars,
or sitting outside in the garden of my parent's house..
the nights are just too cold here to even open the windows..

I think I miss the cool breeze of Malaysia too..
you are happy when the wind is blowing, because it gives a relief from the heat,
not like the harsh wind here, that dries out your skin and brings the chill to your bone..

so much to talk about the weather here..it can be the main topic you talk about with your casual friends, it's also the usual comment you say to your neighbour (hello! it's a cold day, isn't it?), it's what you wait for in the news (unlike the flash picture of the map with scattered pictures of suns, clouds or rain shown for 10 seconds in Malaysian news)..

I also miss the smell of pasar malam (night market)..
the smoky-noisy environment of a pasar malam
where first you smell the laksa, then ayam percik
maybe satay, and the various rice (nasi ayam, nasi tomato, nasi beriyani, nasi minyak, nasi hujan panas, nasi dagang, nasi lemak kukus, nasi kerabu)
then you smell the apam balik, and burgers
then keropok lekor, then mi kari, mi bandung, mi jawa, mi rebus..
then apam balik again..
then jagung rebus, kacang kuda, rojak buah, yong taufu,
murtabak, roti canai, roti telur, roti bom..
then the various colours of juices sweating in their containers
sugarcane, watermelon, ABC (aaarrrggghhhh!!!), cendol..
actually I don't really miss the food because a lot of them are available here
but I miss the mixed smell and hustle bustle of the pasar malam...

Apart from the pasar malam, I also miss my favourite fast food-kfc! (ni iklan tak berbayar)..hot n spicy chicken with fantastic coleslaw and the wedges!

I also miss kenduri!
or the fact that you always have a function/gathering to go on weekends.

I missed being important (hehehe)
because where I worked before I was like the fourth in ranking in the institution..
I'm not 'gila kuasa'
but it's just the good feeling you have when you go to work
but of course, I am more at peace in mind now
having no life-death decisions to make

I really really miss big large houses of Malaysia
(or I miss the openness of houses in Malaysia)
here the houses are small (I supposed because of expensive land price)
and compartmentalized (cheaper to heat-more energy efficient)
I miss the vastness of our 4-bedroom apartment where my son was able to cycle his bike freely as he wished without knocking onto anything
I'm sure our wee house now can fit into my parent's living room alone.

I'm going to stop torturing myself now..

Home sweet home..