Remembering Wan (and Death)

Wan had been the central figure of our lives since we were small. Wan was not once-a-year-grandma or Hari-Raya-grandma. When my sister was small, she used to stay at the kampung (village) with Wan (the rest of us only came back during weekends). My sister stayed with Wan until she was six. Then when it was not safe anymore for Wan to stay alone at the kampung, Wan came to stay with us for many years. Later Wan moved around between her daughters' homes, and a few months before she returned to Him, Wan stayed with my parents.

Wan's house at kampung, where we spent much of our childhood carefree, eating raw cocoa, playing houses under rambutan trees and chasing chickens.

Wan's name was Mariam bt Nandor (she was a Minang descendant), but her family nicknamed her Embok (not sure what it meant). And she said when she registered for her identity card, the officer who was also from the same village and knew her by the name Embok filled out the forms using the name Embok, so Embok she became for the rest of her life. Wan finished her primary school and was qualified to be a teacher (yes, during pre-war times primary school graduates can become a teacher). But she had to marry our grandfather (she was 13, our grandpa was 21), so she did not work. They had their firstborn 3 years later. Our grandfather died when my mother was 15, leaving Wan to care for her 6 children (youngest was 8). Wan had been through a lot, but she always smile. My mother said my grandfather was very strict and moody (he was a politician), but never Wan reminisce him as someone unpleasant. She always had good stories about him. Being ex-politician wife, she was very alert about local news as well as world news until her last day. She adored Tun Mahathir very much. At 89, she still read newspapers and knew all about the war in Middle East.

Wan was one of my Quran teachers. Wan remembered everyone's birthdays by heart, including all her 22 grandchildren. Wan will pray for us during exams, and everytime we asked for her prayers she will always answered "udah...tiap2 hari Wan doa". Wan had a strong sixth-sense, that we grew to become cautious and rarely disobey her. When my brother was sick, Wan never turned down his request to be massaged, although Wan's knees and other joints were already 'jammed' (her own word) and painful.

When I became a doctor, she would always show me her medications everytime she got a new batch of it (in case they gave her the wrong ones heheh). She showed me her knee radiographs. The bones were already touching. Whatever joints that were supposed to be there were gone. "Doktor soh wan ganti lutut, tak koso se" Wan would say in her nogori dialect (translation: doctor asked me to replace my knees, i don't give a damn!).

Wan's 89th birthday, 2 weeks before she returned to her Creator..




Wan with some of her great-grandchildren..



Wan gave her unconditional love to everybody. We pray that Allah will love her thousand times more.

Remembering Death

Pembaringan terakhir..


Penghormatan terakhir..


Mandian terakhir..


Pakaian terakhir..


Rumah terakhir...


Kelibat terakhir..


Land of No Return

Alas, that joy takes flight: not many hearts
The pangs of desolating grief are spared;
No traveler from Death's dark realm returns
To tell us how his fellow pilgrims fared.

Afterwards

When from my corpse and yours the shining souls have fled,
The dust of other men will serve us as a bed;
Long afterwards a brick from our dust shall be made
To form the tomb in which our sons' sons will be laid.

Both poems are rubaiyats (a type of Persian poetry) by Omar Al-Khayyam.

Alfatihah untuk arwah Wan...