Taking Love For Granted

This is the last entry for this month's theme (Love/Marriage).

Everyday in our busy lives, we always assume that our loved ones will always come home or be there when we come home.

But Allah tests us often. How ready are we if we were to be tested with the lost of a loved one?

Have you heard of Andre Gorz (a French philosopher)? When his wife, Dorine, was diagnosed with a fatal disease, he took early retirement to spend more time with his wife. In 2006 he wrote a 75-pages love letter to his wife, which became a bestseller after their death. Read the translated extracted version of the love letter here.

I've chosen a paragraph from the letter for us to ponder...

I’d reached the age where you ask yourself what you’ve done with your life, what you would like to have done with it. I had the impression of not having lived my life, of having always observed it at a distance, of having developed only one side of myself and being poor as a person. You were, and always had been, richer than I was. You’d blossomed and grown in every dimension. You were at home in your life; whereas I’d always been in a hurry to move on to the next task, as though our life would only really begin later.

As Andre Gorz had clearly put in words, about how he 'put life on hold'. He and his wife had the 'luxury' of a warning. So they could pick up the pieces they left together and make up for whatever time they had lost.

A luxury indeed, the warning only comes to few of us. Having seen many deaths, I can say that no one was ever prepared for the news. Even the family of a comatose patient.

So, never take your loved ones for granted. Say you love them now.




A year later, on 22 September 2007, Andre and Dorine Gorz committed suicide together by lethal injection.

At night I sometimes see the figure of a man, on an empty road in a deserted landscape, walking behind a hearse. I am that man. It’s you the hearse is carrying away. I don’t want to be there for your cremation; I don’t want to be given an urn with your ashes in it.

*Dengan itu saya menutup tema bulan ini (akan disambung bergantung pada mood saya). Happy Anniversary Honey!

Amazing Blog Award

Terima kasih kepada M-I-O yang telah memberi saya award ini. 5 bulan blogging ini kali pertama blog ini menerima award.

Disebabkan menerima award ini, saya perlu memberi 5 fakta tentang pemberi award ini, kemudian 10 fakta tentang diri sendiri, kemudian beri pula award pada orang lain dan beri sedikit penerangan tentang mereka.

5 Fakta tentang M-I-O

Saya hanya mengenali M-I-O melalui blognya, My Internal Outlet. Apa yang dapat saya kutip hasil pembacaan saya (di waktu saya nak tergelak sorang2 semasa anak2 saya tido) ialah:

1. MIO adalah seorang Melancholy Choleric yang berpegang teguh kepada Law of Attraction. Prinsipnya 'Life is too short to be ordinary' memang menarik, memang extraordinary blogger sebab 2-3 entry setiap hari kecuali hari minggu (takut Mr Daddy tau? hikhik).

2. Dalam bab2 perubatan, MIO sangat fobia kepada tiub kencing dan juga fobia makan ubat (ada ke pil folic acid tu belah 4??!).

3. MIO berbakat menyusukan puteranya Ziyad dalam pelbagai gaya, melintang, menegak dan sebagainya. Bravo!

4. Makanan kegemarannya ialah Donut Epal Besar dan Roti Gardenia Butterscotch.

5. MIO bekerja di satu ofis yang memang tak boleh berfungsi kalau dia takde. Antara rakan sekerja MIO ialah Adikku Sayang (yang diminta berhenti berharap), Si Mangkuk Ayun (yang tak pegi sembahyang jumaat), Pekerja Melayu Muslim Tak Bertauliah, Pekerja Cina A dan B, dan bos MIO ialah Mr C yang tak tau menghargai human capital.


10 Fakta Mengenai Saya

1. Menurut personality test yang diwarwarkan oleh knv, saya seorang Melancholy Phlegmatic. Memang saya agak obsesif dan schedule-oriented, tapi sebagai seorang phlegmatic saya memang lebih suka elak konflik. 'Right way, Easy way,' eh....

2. Penulis kegemaran saya ialah John Grisham, Sidney Sheldon dan Khaled Hosseini. Saya sebenarnya tertarik dengan latarbelakang mereka yang bukan asalnya penulis, atau pelajar creative writing, atau journalist, tapi dapat menulis karya2 hebat. Dont judge a book by its cover, but by its author.

3. Saya memang sering tertarik dengan jenis orang2 yang hidup 2 alam ni (alam sains dan sastera)-macam Khaled Hosseini tu (beliau adalah seorang pakar perubatan). Contoh terbaik lagi satu ialah Omar Khayyam. Dia adalah ahli matematik yg memperkenalkan konsep algebra dan ahli astronomi. Tetapi dia juga telah menghasilkan kitab puisi Parsi yang terkenal, Rubaiyat Omar Khayyam.

4. Saya suka baca puisi. Saya tak berbakat tulis puisi tapi saya suka baca saja (sebenarnya saya banyak tulis masa sekolah menengah dulu, tapi sejak masuk sekolah perubatan saya terus hilang idea dan tak boleh tulis lagi). Jenis puisi yang saya suka baca ialah Chinese poetry. Sebabnya Chinese poetry adalah 'simple and straightforward'. Senang faham. Saya rasa puisi Melayu agak kompleks. Begitu juga puisi English. Selalu banyak tersirat. Saya juga suka rubaiyat yg ditulis Omar Khayyam.

5. Personaliti yang saya kagumi ialah Tun Dr Mahathir. Walaupun orang kata dia Diktator, Grand Old Man of Malaysian Politics dan sebagainya, saya memang akan terus kagumi beliau. Mungkin sebab dia juga boleh masuk kategori manusia 2 alam ni. Semasa saya mula sampai Manchester Tun masih dalam IJN selepas bypass nya yang kedua. Tiap kali telefon mak saya, saya akan bertanyakan khabar Tun. Tahun lepas Tun datang ke Manchester. Saya seret Papaboyz utk pergi melihat beliau, sebab saya takut tiada peluang lain utk berjumpa dgnnya.



Tapi isteri beliau Tun Dr Siti Hasmah tak kurang hebatnya. Kalau saya di umur macam tu mesti dah tak larat nak ke mana2. Mesti dah sakit lutut (osteoarthritis). To be the wife to that kind of man, she must be one hell of a woman! Cuba tengok, tak nampak mcm 80-an pun.



6. Saya memang buta IT. Naseb baik Papaboyz computer engineer, jadi hal2 IT saya memang lepas tangan. Mungkin ini salah satu faktor saya tertarik dgn Papaboyz (hahaha) sebab he completed me. Skill IT saya memang sgt terhad, di blog ini saya cuma tulis dan paste gambar saja, selebihnya memang Papaboyz yang buatkan. Contohnya entry saya yang ada video Chicken A la Carte tu, Papaboyz yg tempekkan video tu. Itupun nak kena mintak tolong dia. Layout dan skin blog ni pun Papaboyz yg buat. Sekarang Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia dalam proses meng-computerize-kan semua data pesakit. Beberapa hospital telah pun menjadi paperless hospital. Saya agak berdebar2 menunggu giliran hospital saya di-computerize-kan. Mesti saya akan kelam kabut.

Oh ya. Sesiapa yg baca blog ni pakai internet explorer tak akan nampak skin blog ni. Jadi sila tengok blog ini menggunakan Mozilla Firefox.

7. Saya suka layan cerita drama melayu. Sebab drama melayu biasanya ringan dan tak payah fikir banyak sangat. Saya suka watak Cik Eton yang kepoh, nenek suka melatah, pastu org bandar yg balik kg tak reti makan budu, belacan etc, pastu pakcik2 bersidai kat kedai kopi , pastu cerita org buat org.... eh ni semua takde dalam budaya org lain, terhad pada org Melayu je....Tapi korang pernah masuk atau melawat orang dlm ICU tak? Kalau dalam drama melayu, pesakit yang dalam ICU (yang serba cantik) setakat pakai topeng oksigen je. Sabar je lah. Kalau duduk ICU tu wajiblah penuh wayar sana sini, encik pengarah oiii (tak buat homework ke?). Pastu monitor paling kurang mesti 2. Tiang2 gantung ubat, air tu semua mana? mana? tiub kencing yang ditakuti MIO tu mana? ingat orang kat ICU boleh bgn kencing? Pastu kat ICU mana boleh pelawat ramai2, sorang je sekali masuk...Yang cerita Spa Q musim pertama tu (yang kedua saya tak tengok) boleh pulak lepas pembedahan pemindahan buah pinggang masuk bilik hospital yang sama, tak masuk ICU pulak tu. Pesakit transplan kena kuarantinlah! Adoii, jalan cerita melayu sekarang memang best2 tapi tak pay attention to details.

8. Saya sebenarnya bercita2 jadi seorang endocrinologist. Ini semua akibat terpengaruh dgn pensyarah kegilaan saya Prof Emeritus Dr Khalid Kadir (kini beliau di Hosp Pantai). Tapi disebabkan rezeki saya dapat 3 putera comel, maka nampaknya masa muda saya adalah milik anak2 saya. Takpe, saya redha. Kalau ada rezeki saya nanti adalah.

9. Saya suka kumpul handbag. Ini salah satu punca sakit kepala Papaboyz. Nak buat macammana, dah saya perempuan sejati. Naseb baik saya bukan kaki spa, kaki mahjong atau sbgnya. Naseb baik jugak saya tak kumpul emas berlian.

10. Kereta kegemaran saya ialah Mini Cooper.



Jadi sekarang saya kena bagi pulak award ni. Tapi saya sebenarnya tak cukup 10 orang. Boleh tak kita bagi pada orang yang tak kenal kita / tak tau blog kita? Saya akan bagi award ni pada blogger yang beri inspirasi pada saya. Kepada yang menerima award ni, tak payah buat tag ni ok, saya cuma nak beri penghargaan pada kalian.

Penerima award dari saya ialah:

1. Che Det (heheheh)

2. MIO - ini bukan sekadar membalas award, memang blog awak best dan sesiapa yg perlukan motivasi bolehla ke blog MIO. MIO-seperti yang orang lain selalu cadangkan, awak boleh tukar profession-perantis JFK (baca: Jowo Fadzillah Kamsah)

3. Mynie- blog serius kawan sekolah saya. Mynie memang berhati2 bila buat entry. Takde entry merapu2 sesuai dgn perwatakannya dia waktu sekolah yg merupakan pelajar cemerlang.

4. Afidalina- ini pun blog kawan sekolah saya. Memang sering beri inspirasi. Pastu gambar pun selalu cantik2 belaka. Keep it up!

5. Faizah- ini saya terjumpa masa bloghopping. Tiap2 minggu dia tulis book review. Eh, awak boleh speed read ke? Berapa perkataan seminit? Kalau saya boleh mintak superpower saya akan pilih supaya saya boleh speed reading ribu2 perkataan seminit.

6. Cikgu Aliya- Seorang cikgu yg merupakan saudara baru Islam yang memang berkebolehan menulis. Sering berkongsi pengalaman hidupnya, susah senang memeluk Islam, dan juga pengalamannya sebagai pendidik. Wajar dihargai.

7. KNV- Ini juga perantis JFK! Blog yang penuh informasi muhasabah diri. Kita semua memang masih dan mungkin sampai bila2 akan terus tercari2, so, when you say you are lost, you are not alone...

8. DSNSC- Ini baru jumpa dari blog yatie chomeyl yang saya terjah dari MIO. Saya terkagum dgn konsep blognya iaitu fotografi berpuisi. Gambar2 semua sangat cantik dan membawa maksud tersirat. Saya rasa blog ini...'hidup'.

Hahh...cukuplah 8.

6 Years Together...

Last Sunday was our 6th wedding anniversary. Celebrated with the latest member of the family, Abid (tu pasal dia keluar awal, dia nak masuk gambar).

This was taken on 17th May 2003 (baru nikah).


With my family..


The reception at Papaboyz's house 3 months later (combined wedding with Papaboyz's sister, Along Izan)- mekap macam topung gomak, zaman dolu punya mekap...



Last year's anniversary..


This year, Papaboyz bought a toffee cake (kalau kat Malaysia nih wajib Secret Recipe or ice cream cake Baker's Cottage). Since I and baby Abid are in confinement, we could not go celebrate elsewhere. Papaboyz's best friend since MRSM Kuantan, Bibi and his wife Alisa came to visit us, so we got a full family photo-yang sememeh (Mukaku masih sembab, Papaboyz pun demam terkejut, pastu tgk Ammar posing...)






I love all of you, 4 boys of my life to bits...mmuuaaahhhhs!

Muhammad Abid Husaini

This is our third hero, Baby Abid. Born 13 May 2009 12.08 pm weighing 3.05kg.









Papa with Baby Abid..


Mama with 3 heroes


Papa with 3 heroes


Ammar poking Baby Abid


Baby Abid's arrival really tested us. He decided to come much earlier (my due date was supposed to be 5th june). His things were only half ready, his grandma has not arrived, I was not mentally prepared (for the labour) and we have not decided where to send the boys if I go into labour early. Luckily, we had Fawwaz, Shaheeda and Aliya, who were there to help us. Our most heartful thanks goes to them- we can never repay you, only Allah can.

And lastly,thanks for all your prayers!

Baby's coming!

My waterbag just broke... tak tau nak sengih ke nak nangis (lagi rasa nak nangis)...MAK AKU TAK DTG LAGI UWAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

I'm 3 weeks early...

Maafkan segala salah silap yer... doakan kitorang...

Laughter is the Best Medicine

This one is for Lered (ahahahaha-gelak besar). Found this in this doctor's blog. Have to share with everybody (walaupun lari dari tema bulan ini)

Answering Service At The Mental Institute

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.


If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.

If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

Long Marriage

I got this poem from Puisi-poesy (a blog where the contributing authors post poems and discuss about them)



Long Marriage

You're worried, so you wake her
& you talk into the dark:
Do you think I have cancer, you
say, or Were there worms
in that meat, or Do you think
our son is OK, and it's
wonderful, really--almost
ceremonial as you feel
the vessel of your worry pass
miraculously from you to her--
Gee, the rain sounds so beautiful,
you say--I'm going back to sleep


Poem by Gerald Fleming
from Swimmer Climbing onto Shore,
Sixteen Rivers Press, San Francisco, 2005

How beautiful!!
When you have loved somebody long enough, you can just pass your worries to him/her,
and although you don't get any answer, the worries just ease away...

Did You Marry The Right Person?

Found this in Fasya's Facebook (not sure the original source)

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,
"How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It
depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit) .

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU .

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU...

Falling in love is easy...
It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and
a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love.. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy.
And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make"love...

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always :

"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who
you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."

Favourite Love Song

Almost all songs that we know are about love. Love to your Creator, partner, family, nature etc. Also eternal love, unconditional love, undying love, bla bla..

And loneliness because you fell out of love, broken hearted because of your love one, asking God "where is the love" (black eyed peas...)

I can only think of one song that is not directly related to love..

Lagu Tiga Kupang...

I like a lot of love songs..

Current fav is 'Dibius Cinta' (sebab Yusry KRU nyanyi)

But my all time favourite is...

FLYING WITHOUT WINGS (WESTLIFE)

I love this song because I feel it covers a lot of aspects on love, and how the simplest things in life can make you happy....

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you find that special thing?
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some, in their solitary lives
You find it in the works of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You find it in the deepest friendships (very true, thanks to all my dear friends)
The kind you cherish all your life
And, when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So, impossible as it may seem
You've got to fight for every dream (it's not easy to maintain happiness)
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete? (only Allah knows..of course )

Well, for me, it's waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place (this is a true blessing, to know that you own each other)

It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

To Honey, Adam, Ammar and Baby...

And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

Tema Bulan Ini

Hari ini 1 May. Bulan ini blog ini ada tema. Tapi tidak bermakna 'book reviews' akan dihentikan. 'Book reviews' akan diteruskan. Cerita dua budak itu akan diteruskan. Cerita hasil rembatan akan diteruskan atau cerita2 lain lagi.

Tapi saya juga akan tambah tulisan2 saya berdasarkan tema bulan ini.

Apakah tema bulan ini?

Walaupun hari ini hari buruh tapi tema bukanlah tentang kerja / kerjaya.



Sekarang saya dah masuk 35 minggu.



Macam ni lah perut saya. Tapi ini bukan perut saya. Saya pilih gambar ini sebab saya nak tunjuk tindik pusat tu. Jangan tiru di rumah.

Tapi walaupun saya makin sarat, tema bulan ini bukanlah tentang hal2 mengandung atau hal bayi atau hal bersalin atau 'breastfeeding'.

Sekarang musim bunga. Bunga2 tulip dan daffodil tumbuh macam cendawan di UK ni.
(Kak Ija, pinjam gambar...)


Tapi bukan nak cerita tentang musim bunga, hal2 berkebun, atau yg sewaktu dgnnya...

Tema bulan ini ialah...




LOVE AND MARRIAGE.....

Sebab bulan ini ialah anniversary saya dan Papaboyz yang ke 6!

Sebagai pembukaan kepada tema bulan ini...saya rasa pantun lama ini sangat sesuai untuk menggambarkan keadaan saya sekarang...

Nasi Lemak Buah Bidara,
Sayang Selasih Hamba Lurutkan,
Tinggal Emak, Tinggal Saudara,
Kerana Kekasih Saya Turutkan....

Inilah Papaboyz....(dia dalam elemen obsesinya...)